X^'^''/ V^^'/ \*^"\/ %' 











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,^'''\. 














BUNYAN LISTENS TO THE PoOR WoMEN OF BEDFORD. 

/ came where there were three or four poor women sitting at a door, in 
the sun, talking about the things of God. [See page 32. 



^lA/nJ^, ^ 



v\yr-' 



Grace Abounding 

TO THE CHIEF OF SINNERS 

In a Faithful Account of the 
Life and Death of John Bunyan 

OR 

A Brief Relation of the Exceeding 
Mercy of God in Christ to Him 

^itb an Introduction by 
HENRY G. WESTON, D.D. 

AND FIFTEEN ORIGINAL 
ILLUSTRATIONS BY 

HAROLD COPPING 



AMERICAN TRACT SOCIETY 

150 NASSAU STREET 
BOSTON • NEW YORK • CHICAGO 



7^05, 






Copyright, 1905 
Bv American Tract Society 



ly^rr^ from 

wev 



t 



CONTENTS 

List or Illustrations , . , 

Foreword ..... 

Prefatory Note . . . • 

Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners, paragraphs 
1-339 ...... 

A Brief Account of the Author*s Call to the 

Work of the Ministry 
A Brief Account of the Author's Imprisonment 
The Conclusion, paragraphs 1-7 . 

A Relation of the Imprisonment of the Author in 
THE Month of November 1660 

A Continuation of the Author's Life • 

A Brief Character of the Author , • 

Postscript • • • . . 

Bibliography • • . • . 



4 

5 

10 

17 

147 
169 

180 

1S3 
229 
241 
243 
245 



LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS 



Bunyan Listens to the Poor Women of Bedford 

Bunyan and his Wife read her Father's Books 

Bunyan hears a Voice from Heaven 

Bunyan at the Steeple . 

Bunyan at the House of Mr GifFord 

Bunyan in Despair 

Bunyan seeks Comfort . 

Bunyan wrestling in Prayer 

Bunyan finds Hope 

Bunyan preaches to the People 

Bunyan is looked on with Suspicion 

Bunyan parting with his Wife and Children 

Bunyan before Justice Wingate . 

Bunyan refuses to be silenced . 

Bunyan' s Wife pleading with the Judges 

4 



Frontispiece 
To face page 

17 



25 
31 
50 
81 

lOI 

122 
146 
150 
165 

174 
187 
207 
221 



FOREWORD 

" Grace abounding ! '* Are there two words, 
aside from the divine names and those expressing 
the divine love, which ought to send a deeper thrill 
into the human heart than these ? Yet to the mul- 
titude they are words and nothing more. The 
overwhelming majority of men, while admitting the 
fact of wrongdoing, have no sense of the sinfulness 
of sin, no conception of its criminality and its 
desert of punishment. 

Where there is no consciousness of guilt, there 
can be no cry for grace and no gratitude for its ex- 
istence. Nay, more ; if man has no need of par- 
don, he is independent of God. Nature and 
humanity supply all his wants. His religion is a 
godless religion. In its prayers, exquisitely beauti- 
ful phrases, voicing human emotions whose ex- 
pression often deeply touches the soul of the hearer, 
there is no God. Men frankly tell us, " I derive 
far more good from a walk through the forest, or 
by the running brook, or on the shore of the ocean, 
communing with myself and with nature, than I do 
by attending the prayer meeting and reading the 
Bible." 



FOREWORD 

If God, in His infinite mercy, send the Holy- 
Spirit to convict that man of sin, his one cry from 
a heavily laden heart will be. Will God forgive ? 
Can God forgive ? To this question nature gives 
no answer. Forest, brook, ocean, earth and sky 
are dumb. He turns to his Bible and, to his great 
amazement, finds that the glory of God consists in 
His relations to sin. When God at the request of 
Moses reveals His glory, it is in these words — " The 
Lord, The Lord God, merciful and gracious, long- 
suflFering and abundant in mercy and truth, keeping 
mercy for thousands, forgiving transgression, iniq- 
uity and sin ; yet that will by no means clear the 
guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the 
children, and upon the children's children, unto the 
third and fourth generation. '* 

This forgiven sinner, as soon as he begins to look 
beyond himself, discovers that this world is a world 
in which grace reigns, and that this fact explains 
very much that is otherwise incomprehensible in the 
dealings of God with man. As the past, the pres- 
ent, and the future open before him he sees that 
the era in which we are living is the Day of Salva- 
tion ; the Day of Creation is closed ; the Day of 
Judgment is yet to come; God's throne in this day 
of salvation is a throne of grace; Grace reigns. In 
the world as it now is, wickedness walks on every 
hand and goes unpunished. Men see the wicked 

6 



FOREWORD 

prosper. They conclude that God is indiiFcrcnt to 
human conduct or else oblivious to moral distinc- 
tions. For every band of devout souls calling 
upon God, there are hundreds of associations where 
God's name is heard in curses, where sin and hate 
invoke His vengeance, where His name is defied. 
To all these there is no response, but let there come 
to the ears of God one cry for mercy from a heart 
breaking with a sense of sin, and swifter than the 
flash of an angeFs wing comes the answer from 
God's own lips. Scoffers cry. Where is His 
promised coming? All things continue as they 
were from the foundation of the world. The 
answer is at hand ; The long delay of our Lord is 
for salvation ; He is not willing that any should 
perish. God's patient forbearance with the sinner, 
ripe for destruction, and the continued and unmerited 
goodness which He heaps upon him are designed 
to lead him to repentance. Read the answer of 
Peter to men perplexed at the ways of God in this 
world of sin ; " Grow in the grace (not, grow in 
grace, but in the grace) of our Lord and Saviour. 

The pardon of sin is not wrung from the hands 
of a reluctant God ; He delights in mercy. When 
the sinner returns, the lips of the Infinite burst 
forth in song. " The Lord, thy God, will rejoice 
over thee with singing. I, even I, am He that 
blotteth out thy trangressions for my own sake.** 

7 



FOREWORD 

Language is exhausted to express the fulness of 
God's forgiveness. The scarlet sinner becomes 
whiter than snow ; his trangressions are blotted out 
Hke a thick cloud, disappearing never more to be 
seen ; they are cast into the depths of the sea, 
remembered no more forever. 

The last words of revelation are words of 
abounding grace. The long contest between sin 
and righteousness ends in eternal victory. God is 
sealing up the account of that conflict with a solemn 
warning against adding anything, to the inspired 
record, or taking anything from it. But before 
revelation closes God cannot forbear sending out 
one more cry of grace ; " Whosoever will, let him 
take the water of life freely.'* "Whosoever!" 
Thank God for that word with its limitless embrace 
wherever it appears in the Bible, specially thank 
God it is here. " Let him take freely " — having 
no fitness, giving nothing in return. 

John Bunyan's eminent fitness to be the author 
of " Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners " 
does not arise from the comparative guiltiness of his 
own character. It is very clear that, judged by the 
standards of his time, he was far from being the 
chief of sinners. But his conception of sin, its 
heinousness and guilt, was not revealed to him by 
flesh and blood but by God Himself It was this 
revelation that enabled him to write this supreme 

8 



FOREWORD 

classic of sacred literature, but not the revelation of 
guilt alone. If he had seen only sin, the sight 
would have plunged him into absolute despair. 
These two great truths took such possession of his 
soul that he could not forbear giving to the world 
the story of his own experience. He was an 
English peasant and tinker with no human help of 
any kind. He wrote ; competent critics, not shar- 
ing his religious view, award him the highest place 
for genius and popularity among the writers of the 
seventeenth century. Devout Christians of all 
generations since his time have taken him as their 
interpreter, teacher and guide. The divine revela- 
tion to him of the two greatest facts in the universe — 
sin and grace — placed him in the unique position he 
occupies of unapproached and unapproachable 
greatness. 

HENRY G. WESTON. 
Crozer Theological Seminary. 



PREFATORY NOTE 

The text in this edition is as nearly as possible that 
of the eighth, which was corrected by Bunyan him- 
self a few weeks before his death. The text of * A 
Relation ' is that of the first edition of 1765. A few 
minor changes have been introduced for the con- 
venience of the reader. The use of capital letters 
has been considerably modified, and the orthography 
has been in places modernized. In some few in- 
stances the Scripture references have been added to 
quotations where they did not appear in the original. 
It must be remembered that Bunyan often quoted 
Scripture inexactly, and it has not been deemed 
necessary to make all his quotations follow the text 
of the Authorized Version. 

The marginal summary is not a part of the original, 
but has been prepared for this edition in order that 
it may correspond with the Society's editions of the 
' Pilgrim's Progress.' 

The Bibliography of the earlier editions is believed 
to be the most complete yet published. 

The illustrations have been prepared for this 
work by Mr. Harold Copping, whose illustrations 
to the ' Pilgrim's Progress ' have justly attracted 
much attention. 

10 



A PREFACE 

OR, BRIEF ACCOUNT OF THE PUBLISHING THIS 
WORK. WRITTEN BY THE AUTHOR THEREOF, 
AND DEDICATED TO THOSE WHOM GOD HATH 
COUNTED HIM WORTHY TO BEGET TO FAITH, 
BY HIS MINISTRY IN THE WORD 

Children, Grace be with you. Amen, I being 
taken from you in presence, and so tied up that I 
cannot perform that duty, that from God doth He 
upon me to you-ward, for your farther edifying and 
building up in faith and holiness, etc., yet that you 
may see my soul hath fatherly care and desire after 
your spiritual and everlasting welfare, I now once 
again, as before, from the top of Shenir and Hermon, 
so now from the lions' dens, from the mountains of 
the leopards (Song iv. 8), do look yet after you all, 
greatly longing to see your safe arrival into THE 
desired Haven. 

I thank God upon every remembrance of you ; 
and rejoice, even while I stick between the teeth of 
the lion in the wilderness, that the grace and mercy, 
and knowledge of Christ our Saviour, which God 
hath bestowed upon you, with abundance of faith 

II 



PREFACE 

and love; your hungerings and thirstings after 
farther acquaintance with the Father, in the Son; 
your tenderness of heart, your trembling at sin, your 
sober and holy deportment also, before both God 
and men, is a great refreshment to me; For ye 
are our glory and joy. i Thess. ii. 20. 

I have sent you here enclosed, a drop of that 
honey that I have taken out of the carcase of a 
lion. Jndg. xiv. 5-8. I have eaten thereof myself, 
and am much refreshed thereby. (Temptations, 
when we meet them at first, are as the lion that 
roared upon Samson ; but if we overcome them, the 
next time we see them, we shall find a nest of honey 
within them.) The Philistines understand me not. 
It is something of a relation of the work of God 
upon my soul, even from the very first, till now, 
wherein you may perceive my castings down, and 
risings up : for He woundeth, and His hands make 
whole. It is written in the Scripture, Isa. xxxviii. 
19, The father to the children shall make known 
Thy truth. Yea, it was for this reason I lay 
so long at Sinai, Lev. iv. 10, 11, to see the fire, 
and the cloud, and the darkness, that I might 
fear the Lord all the days of my life upon earth.^ and 
tell of His wondrous works to my children. Psalm 
Ixxviii. y^. 

12 



PREFACE 

Moses, Numb, xxxiii. i, 2, writ of the journeys 
of the children of Israel^ from Egypt to the land of 
Canaan ; and commanded also that they did remember 
their forty years' travel in the wilderness. Thou 
shah remember all the way which the Lord thy God led 
thee these forty years in the wilderness^ to humble thee^ 
and to prove thee^ and to know what was in thine 
hearty whether thou wouldst keep His commandments, 
or no. Deut. viii. 2. Wherefore this I have en- 
deavoured to do; and not only so, but to publish 
it also ; that, if God will, others may be put in 
remembrance of what He hath done for their souls, 
by reading His work upon me. 

It is profitable for Christians to be often calling 
to mind the very beginnings of grace with their 
souls. // is a night to be much observed unto the 
Lord^ for bringing them out from the land of Egypt. 
This is that night of the Lord to be observed of all 
the children of Israel in their generations. Exod. 
xii. 42. my God (saith David), Ps. xlii. 6, my 
soul is cast down within me ; therefore will I remember 
thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, 
from the hill Mizar. He remembered also the lion 
and the bear, when he went to iight with the giant 
of Gath. I Sam. xvii. ;^6, ^y. 

It was Paul's accustomed manner, Acts xxii., 

13 



PREFACE 

and that, when tried for his life, Acts xxiv., even 
to open before his judges the manner of his con- 
version : he would think of that day, and that hour, 
in which he first did meet with grace ; for he found 
it supported him. When God had brought the 
children of Israel out of the Red Sea, far into the 
wilderness, yet they must turn quite about thither 
again, to remember the drowning of their enemies 
there. Numb. xiv. 25, for though they sang his 
praise before, yet they soon forgat his works. 
Psalm cvi. 11, 12. 

In this discourse of mine, you may see much; 
much I say, of the grace of God towards me: I 
thank God, I can count it much ; for it was above 
my sins and Satan's temptations too. I can remember 
my fears and doubts, and sad months, with comfort ; 
they are as the head of Goliah in my hand : there 
was nothing to David like Goliah's sword, even that 
sword that should have been sheathed in his bowels ; 
for the very sight and remembrance of that did preach 
forth God's deliverance to him. Oh! the remem- 
brance of my great sins, of my great temptations, 
and of my great fear of perishing for ever ! They 
bring afresh into my mind, the remembrance of my 
great help, my great supports from heaven, and the 
great grace that God extended to such a wretch as I. 

14 



PREFACE 

My dear children, call to mind the former days, 
and years of ancient times : remember also your 
songs in the night, and commune with your own 
Hearts, Ps. Ixxiii. 5-12. Yea, look diligently, and 
leave no corner therein unsearched for that treasure 
hid, even the treasure of your first and second 
experience of the grace of God towards you. 
Remember, I say, the word that first laid hold upon 
you : remember your terrors of conscience, and fear 
of death and hell : remember also your tears and 
prayers to God ; yea, how you sighed under every 
hedge for mercy. Have you never a hill Mizar to 
remember? Have you forgot the close, the milk- 
house, the stable, the barn, and the like, where God 
did visit your souls ? Remember also the word, the 
word, I say, upon which the Lord hath caused you 
to hope : if you have sinned against light, if you 
are tempted to blaspheme, if you are drowned in 
despair, if you think God fights against you, or if 
heaven is hid from your eyes; remember it was 
thus with your father; but out of them all the Lord 
delivered me. 

I could have enlarged much in this my discourse, 
of my temptations and troubles for sin ; as also of 
the merciful kindness and working of God with my 
soul : I could also have stepped into a style much 

15 



PREFACE 

higher than this, in which I have here discoursed, 
and could have adorned all things more than here I 
have seemed to do, but I dare not : God did not 
play in tempting of me ; neither did I play, when I 
sunk as into the bottomless pit, when the pangs of 
hell caught hold upon me ; wherefore I may not play 
in relating of them, but be plain and simple, and lay 
down the thing as it was ; he that liketh it, let him 
receive it, and he that doth not, let him produce a 
better. Farewell. 

My dear Children, 
The milk and honey are beyond this wilderness. 
God be merciful to you.^ and grant that you be not 
slothful to go in to possess the land, 

JOHN BUNYAN. 



i6 




BUNYAN AND HIS WiFE READ HER FaTHER's BoOKS. 
In these books I ivould somedtnes read ivith her. 



GRACE ABOUNDING TO THE 
CHIEF OF SINNERS 

OR. 

A BRIEF RELATION OF THE EXCEEDING MERCY OF 
GOD IN CHRIST, TO HIS POOR SERVANT, JOHN 
BUNYAN 

In this my relation of the merciful working of God 
upon my soul, it will not be amiss, if in the first 
place, I do in a few words give you a hint of my 
pedigree, and manner of bringing up ; that thereby 
the goodness and bounty of God towards me, may 
be the more advanced and magnified before the sons 
of men. 

2. For my descent then, it was, as is well known 
by many, of a low and inconsiderable ^^ parentage 
generation ; my father's house being ^-"^ descent 
of that rank that is meanest, and most despised of 
all the families in the land. Wherefore, I have not 
here, as others, to boast of noble blood, or of any 
high-bom state, according to the flesh ; though, all 
things considered, I magnify the heavenly Majesty, 
for that by this door He brought me into the world, 
to partake of the grace and life that is in Christ by 
the gospel. 

B 17 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

3. But yet, notwithstanding the meanness and 

inconsiderableness of my parents, it 
^° ° pleased God to put it into their hearts, 

to put me to school, to learn both to read and 
write ; the which I also attained, according to the rate 
of other poor men's children : though, to my shame, I 
confess, I did soon lose that I had learned, even 
almost utterly, and that long before the Lord did 
work His gracious work of conversion upon my soul. 

4. As for my own natural life, for the time that 
I was without God in the world, it was, indeed, 
according to the course of this world and the spirit 
that now worketh in the children of disobedience. Eph. 
ii. 2, 3. It was my delight to be ' taken captive by the 
devil at his will^ 2 Tim. ii. 26 ; being filled with all 
unrighteousness ; the which did also so strongly 
work, and put forth itself, both in my heart and 
life, and that from a child, that I had but few 
equals (especially considering my years, which were 
tender, being but few) both for cursing, swearing, 
lying, and blaspheming the holy name of God. 

5. Yea, so settled and rooted was I in these 
An early life of things, that they became as a second 
sin nature to me ; the which, as I have 
also with soberness considered since, did so offend 
the Lord, that even in my childhood he did scare 
and affrighten me with fearful dreams, and did 
terrify me with fearful visions. For often, after I 
have spent this and the other day in sin, I have in 

j8 



MY DISTRESS AS A CHILD 

my bed been greatly afflicted, while asleep, with the 
apprehensions of devils and wicked spirits, who still, 
as I then thought, laboured to draw me away with 
them, of which I could never be rid. 

6. Also I should, at these years, be greatly 
afflicted and troubled with the j ^^^j. ^^ ^^^_ 
thoughts of the fearful torments mentsofhell 
of hell-fire; still fearing, that it would be my lot 
to be found at last among those devils and hellish 
fiends, who are there bound down with the chains and 
bonds of darkness, unto the judgment of the great day. 

7. These things, I say, when I was but a child, 
but nine or ten years old, did so distress my soul, 
that then in the midst of my many sports and childish 
vanities, amidst my vain companions, I was often 
much cast down, and afflicted in my mind therewith, 
yet could I not let go my sins : yea, I was also then 
so overcome with despair of life and heaven, that I 
should often wish, either that there had been no 
hell, or that I had been a devil ; supposing they 
were only tormentors ; that if it must needs be, that 
I went thither, I might be rather a tormentor, than 
be tormented myself. 

8. A while after those terrible dreams did leave 
me, which also I soon foreot ; for 

, J.J . , , rr 1 Ringleader in all 

my pleasures did quickly cut oft the manner of vice 
remembrance of them, as if they ^^ ^^sodiiness 
had never been : wherefore with more greediness, 
according to the strength of nature, I did still let loose 

19 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

the reins of my lust, and delighted in all transgres- 
sions against the law of God : so that until I came 
to the state of marriage, I was the very ringleader 
of all the youth that kept me company, in all 
manner of vice and ungodliness. 

9. Yea, such prevalency had the lusts and fruits 
of the flesh in this poor soul of mine, that had not 
a miracle of precious grace prevented, I had not 
only perished by the stroke of eternal justice, but 
had also laid myself open, even to the stroke of 
those laws which bring some to disgrace and open 
shame before the face of the world. 

ic. In these days the thoughts of religion were 
^ , , ver>' sTievous to me : I could neither 

Thoughts of ^ ^ 

religion very endure it myself, nor that any other 

^^^^^ should ; so that when I have seen 

some read in those books that concerned Christian 
piety, it would be as it were a prison to me. Then 
I said unto God^ Depart from me, for I desire not the 
knoijuledge of Thy ways. Job xxi. 1 4, 1 5. I was now void 
of all good consideration, heaven and hell were both 
out of sight and mind; and as for saving and damning, 
they were least in my thoughts. Lord^ Thou 
kncruuest my life^ and my ways were not hid from Thee ! 
II. But this I well remember, that though I 
I tremble at could mvself sin with the greatest de- 

the wickedness ijabt and ease, and also take pleasure 

of my con- . ° - ., ' - ^ . 

panions m the vileness of my companions; 

yet, even then, if I had at any time seen wicked 

20 



MERCIFUL DELIVERANCES 

things, by those who professed goodness, it would 
make my spirit tremble. As once above all the 
rest, when I was in the height of vanity, yet hear- 
ing one to swear, that was reckoned for a religious 
man, it had so great a stroke upon my spirit, that 
it made my heart ache. 

12. But God did not utterly leave me, but 
followed me still, not now with con- j ^^j^^ escaoe 
victions, but judgments ; yet such as being drowned 
were mixed with mercy. For once I fell into a creek 
of the sea, and hardly escaped drowning. Another 
time I fell out of a boat into Bedford river, but, mercy 
yet preserved me alive : besides, another time, being 
in a field, with one of my companions, it chanced 
that an adder passed over the highway, so I having 
a stick in my hand, struck her over the back ; and 
having stunned her, I forced open her mouth with 
my stick, and plucked her sting out with my fingers ; 
by which act had not God been merciful unto me, 
I might by my desperateness, have brought myself 
to my end. 

13. This also I have taken notice of, with thanks- 
giving: When I was a soldier, I, My experiences 
with others, were drawn out to go as a soldier 

to such a place to besiege it ; but when I was just 
ready to go, one of the company desired to go in my 
room : to which, when I had consented, he took my 
place; and coming to the siege, as he stood sentinel, he 
was shot in the head with a musket-bullet and died. 

21 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

14. Here, as I said, were judgments and mercy, 
but neither of them did awaken my soul to right- 
eousness ; wherefore I sinned still, and grew more 
and more rebellious against God, and careless of 
my own salvation. 

15. Presently after this, I changed my condition 
My first iiito a married state, and my mercy 
marnage ^^g^ ^q \^g^t Upon a wife whose 
father was counted godly: This woman and I, 
though we came together as poor as poor might be 
(not having so much household stuff as a dish or a 
spoon betwixt us both), yet this she had for her 
part : Tbe Plain Majis Pathway to Heaven and 
The Practice of Piety ; which her father had left 
her when he died. In these two books I would 
sometimes read with her, wherein I also found some 
things that were somewhat pleasing to me (but 
all this while I met with no conviction). She also 
would be often telling of me what a godly man her 
father was, and how he would reprove and correct 
vice, both in his house, and among his neighbours ; 
what a strict and holy life he lived in his days, 
both in word and deed. 

16. Wherefore these books, with this relation, 
I am influenced though they did not reach my heart, 
by good books ^Q awaken it about my sad and sinful 
state, yet they did beget within me some desires 
to religion : so that because I knew no better, 
I fell in very eagerly with the religion of the times ; 

22 



MY RELIGIOUS ERRORS 

to wit, to go to church twice a day, and that too 
with the foremost ; and there should very devoutly, 
both say and sing, as others did, yet retaining my 
wicked Hfe ; but withal, I was so over-run with the 
spirit of superstition, that I adored, and that with 
great devotion, even all things (both the high-place, 
priest, clerk, vestment, service, and , f^^, j^ ^^h the 
what else) belonging to the church; religion of the 
counting all things holy that were 
therein contained, and especially, the priest and 
clerk most happy, and without doubt, greatly 
blessed, because they were the servants, as I then 
thought, of God, and were principal in the holy 
temple, to do His work therein. 

17. This conceit grew so strong in a little time 
upon my spirit, that had I but seen a priest (though 
never so sordid and debauched in his life), I should 
find my spirit fall under him, reverence him, and 
knit unto him; yea, I thought, for the love I did 
bear unto them (supposing them the ministers of 
God), I could have laid down at their feet, and 
have been trampled upon by them ; their name, 
their garb, and work did so intoxicate and bewitch 
me. 

18. After I had been thus for some considerable 
time, another thought came in my Are we 
mind; and that was, whether we israeUtes? 
were of the Israelites or no ? For finding in the 
scripture that they were once the peculiar people of 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

God, thought I, if I were one of this race, 
my soul must needs be happy. Now again, I 
found within me a great longing to be resolved 
about this question, but could not tell how I 
should : at last I asked my father of it ; who told 
me, No, we were not. Wherefore then I fell in 
my spirit, as to the hopes of that, and so 
remained. 

19. But all this while, I was not sensible of the 
A sermon moved danger and evil of sin; I was kept 
*^e from considering that sin would damn 
me, what religion soever I followed, unless I was 
found in Christ : nay, I never thought of Him, or 
whether there was such a One, or no. Thus man, 
while blind, doth wander, but wearieth himself with 
'uanity, for he knoweth not the way to the city of God. 
Eccles. X. 15. 

20. But one day (amongst all the sermons our 
parson made) his subject was, to treat of the Sabbath 
day, and of the evil of breaking that, either with 
labour, sports or otherwise. (Now, I was, not- 
withstanding my religion, one that took much 
delight in all manner of vice, and especially that was 
the day that I did solace myself therewith) : where- 
fore I fell in my conscience under his sermon, 
thinking and believing that he made that sermon 
on purpose to show me my evil doing. And at that 
time I felt what guilt was, though never before, 
that I can remember; but then I was, for the 

24 




BUNYAN HEARS A VoiCE FROM HeAVEN. 

Just as I was about to strike it the second tttne, a voice did suddenly 
dart from heaven into my soul. 



MY SPORT INTERRUPTED 

present, greatly loaden therewith, and so went home 
when the sermon was ended, with a great burthen 
upon my spirit. 

21. This, for that instant did benumb the sinews 
of my best delights, and did imbitter j resist the 
my former pleasures to me ; but hold, mfluence 
it lasted not, for before I had well dined, the trouble 
began to go oiF my mind, and my heart returned to 
its old course : but oh ! how glad was I, that this 
trouble was gone from me, and that the fire was 
put out, that I might sin again without control ! 
Wherefore, when I had satisfied nature with my 
food, I shook the sermon out of my mind, and to 
my old custom of sports and gaming, I returned 
with great delight. 

2 2. But the same day, as I was in the midst of 
a game of Cat, and having struck it a voice to me at 
one blow from the hole, just as I was P^^y 
about to strike it the second time, a voice did 
suddenly dart from heaven into my soul, which said, 
Wzlt thou leave thy sins and go to heaven^ or have thy 
sins and go to hell ? At this I was put to an ex- 
ceeding maze; wherefore leaving my cat upon the 
ground, I looked up to heaven, and was, as if I had, 
with the eyes of my understanding, seen the Lord 
Jesus looking down upon me, as being very hotly 
displeased with me, and as if He did severely threaten 
me with some grievous punishment for these and 
other ungodly practices. 

25 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

23. I had no sooner thus conceived in my mind, 
I am convicted ^"^ Suddenly, this conclusion was 
of sin fastened on my spirit (for the former 
hint did set my sins again before my face). That I had 
been a great and grievous sinner^ and that it was now 
too late for me to look after heaven ; for Christ would 
not forgive me^ nor pardon my transgressions. Then 
I fell to musing on this also ; and while I was think- 
ing of it, and fearing lest it should be so ; I felt my 
heart sink in despair, concluding it was too late; 
and therefore I resolved in my mind I would go on 
in sin : for, thought I, if the case be thus, my 
state is surely miserable ; miserable if I leave 
my sins, and but miserable if I follow them; I 
can but be damned, and if I must be so, I had 
as good be damned for many sins, as be damned 
for few. 

24. Thus I stood in the midst of my play, before 
, , , all that then were present : but yet I 

I return desper- i- 1 t i 

atelytomysport told them nothmg : but I say; hav- 

*^^^ ing made this conclusion, I returned 

desperately to my sport again ; and I well remember, 

that presently this kind of despair did so possess 

my soul, that I was persuaded I could never attain 

to other comfort than what I should get in sin ; for 

heaven was gone already, so that on that I must not 

think ; wherefore I found within me great desire to 

take my fill of sin, still studying what sin was yet to 

be committed, that I might taste the sweetness of 

26 



FOLLOWING AFTER SIN 

it ; and I made as much haste as I could to fill my 
belly with its delicates, lest I should die before I 
had my desire ; for that I feared greatly. In these 
things, I protest before God, I lye not, neither do 
I feign this form of speech ; these were really, 
strongly, and with all my heart, my desires : The 
good Lord^ Whose mercy is unsearchable^ forgive me 
my transgressions I 

25. And I am very confident, that this temptation 
of the devil is more usual among poor creatures, 
than many are aware of, even to over-run the 
spirits with a scurvy and seared frame of heart, and 
benumbing of conscience, which frame he stilly and 
slily supplieth with such despair, that, though not 
much guilt attendeth souls, yet they continually 
have a secret conclusion within them, that there is 
no hope for them ; for they have loved sins^ there- 
fore after them they will go. Jer. ii. 25, and 

xviii. 12. 

26. Now therefore I went on in sin with great 
greediness of mind, still grudging 

that I could not be so satisfied with ^l! ""^°^^^ .. 

woman uporaids 

it, as I would. This did continue me for my un- 

. , , , godliness 

With me about a month, or more ; 

but one day, as I was standing at a neighbour's 

shop window, and there cursing and swearing, and 

playing the madman, after my wonted manner, 

there sate within, the woman of the house, and 

heard me; who, though she also was a very loose 

27 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

and ungodly wretch, yet protested that I swore 
and cursed at that most fearful rate, that she 
was made to tremble to hear me ; and told me 
further, that I was the ungodliest fellow for 
swearings that she ever heard in all her Ufe; 
and that 7, hy thus doings was able to spoil all the 
youth in the whole town^ if they came but in my 
company. 

27. At this reproof I was silenced, and put to 
I am silenced by secret shame ; and that too, as I 
the reproof thought, before the God of heaven; 
wherefore, while I stood there, and hanging down 
my head, I wished with all my heart that I 
might be a little child again, that my father 
might learn me to speak without this wicked 
way of swearing; for, thought I, I am so ac- 
customed to it, that it is in vain for me to 
think of a reformation ; for I thought it could 
never be. 

28. But how it came to pass, I know not; I did 
I leave off ^xom this time forward, so leave my 
swearing swearing, that it was a great wonder 
to myself to observe it ; and whereas before I knew 
not how to speak unless 1 put an oath before, and 
another behind, to make my words have authority ; 
now I could, without it, speak better, and with more 
pleasantness than ever I could before. All this 
while I knew not Jesus Christ, neither did I leave 
my sports and plays. 

28 



OUTWARD REFORMATION 

9. But quickly after this, I fell into company 
with one poor man that made pro- 

r ' f, .. . , T 1 A poor man 

fession or religion ; who, as I then talks pleasantly 
thought, did talk pleasantly of the fndtScer 
scriptures, and of the matters of re- ^^^^ ^^^^ ^^^ 
ligion; wherefore falling into some 
love and liking to what he said, I betook me to my 
Bible, and began to take great pleasure in reading, 
but especially with the historical part thereof; for 
as for Paul's Epistles, and such like scriptures, I 
could not away with them, being as yet ignorant, 
either of the corruptions of my nature, or of the 
want and worth of Jesus Christ to save me. 

30. Wherefore I fell to some outward reformation 
both in my words and life, and did 

set the commandments before me for outward 
my way to heaven ; which command- ^^ ^^^^ ^°° 
ments I also did strive to keep, and, as I thought, 
did keep them pretty well sometimes, and then I 
should have comfort ; yel: now and then should 
break one, and so afflict my conscience ; but then 
I should repent, and say, I was sorry for it, and 
promise God to do better next time, and there get 
help again ; for then I thought I pleased God as 
well as any man in England, 

31. Thus I continued about a year; all which 
time our neighbours did take me to be a very godly 
man, a new and religious man, and did marvel much 
to see such a great and famous alteration in my 

29 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

life and manners; and indeed so it was, though 
yet I knew not Christ, nor grace, nor faith, nor 
hope; for, as I have well seen since, had I then 
died, my state had been most fearful. 

32. But, I say, my neighbours were amazed at 
^, . ^^ this my c^reat conversion, from pro- 

The neig-hbours ,. . *' ° ^ , . 

amazed at my digious proraneness, to somethmg 
conversion j.j^^ ^ moral life; and truly, so they 

well might ; for this my conversion was as great, 
as for Tom of Bethlehem to become a sober man. 
Now therefore they began to praise, to commend, 
and to speak well of me, both to my face, and 
behind my back. Now I was, as they said, become 
godly ; now I was become a right honest man. 
But oh ! when I understood these were their words 
and opinions of me, it pleased me mighty well. 
For, though as yet I was nothing but a poor 
painted hypocrite, yet, I loved to be talked of as 
one that was truly godly. I was proud of my 
godliness, and indeed, I did all I did, either to be 
seen of, or to be well spoken of, by men : and 
thus I continued for about a twelve-month, or more. 
^^. Now you must know, that, before this, I 
My conscience ^^^ ^aken much delight in ringing, 
and bell-ringing but my Conscience beginning to be 
tender, I thought such practice was but vain, and 
therefore forced myself to leave it ; yet my mind 
hankered ; wherefore I would go to the steeple- 
house, and look on, though I durst not ring: but 

30 




BUNYAN AT THE StEEPLE. 

After this I would yet go to see them ring^ but would not go any farther 
than the steeple-door. 



HINDRANCES OVERCOME 

I thought this did not become religion neither; 
yet I forced myself, and would look on still, but 
quickly after, I began to think, how if one of the 
bells should fall P Then I chose to stand under a 
main beam, that lay overthwart the steeple, from 
side to side, thinking here I might stand sure; 
but then I should think again, should the bell fall 
with a swing, it might first hit the wall, and then, 
rebounding upon me, might kill me for all this beam ; 
this made me stand in the steeple-door ; and now, 
thought I, I am safe enough ; for if the bell should 
now fall, I can slip out behind these thick walls, 
and so be preserved notwithstanding. 

34. So after this I would yet go to see them 
ring, but would not go any farther 
than the steeple-door ; but then it 
came into my head, how if the steeple itself should 
fall? And this thought (it may for aught I know) 
when I stood and looked on, did continually so 
shake my mind, that I durst not stand at the steeple- 
door any longer, but was forced to flee, for fear 
the steeple should fall upon my head. 

^^. Another thing was, my dancing; I was a 
full year before I could quite leave i give up 
that; but all this while, when I dancing 
thought I kept this or that commandment, or did, 
by word or deed, anything that I thought was good, 
I had great peace in my conscience, and should think 
with myself, God cannot choose but be now pleased 

3^ 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

with me ; yea, to relate it in mine own way, I 
thought no man in England could please God better 
than I. 

36. But poor wretch as I was! I was all this 
while ignorant of Jesus Christ ; and going about to 
establish my own righteousness ; and had perished 
therein, had not God in mercy showed me more of 
my state by nature. 

2,y. But upon a day, the good providence of God 
. called me to Bedford^ to work on my 

poor women at calling ; and in one of the streets of 
that town, I came where there were 
three or four poor women sitting at a door, in the 
sun, talking about the things of God; and being 
now willing to hear them discourse, I drew near 
to hear what they said, for I was now a brisk talker 
also myself, in the matters of religion ; but I may 
say, / heard but understood not ; for they were far 
above, out of my reach. Their talk was about a 
new birth, the work of God on their hearts, also 
how they were convinced of their miserable state 
by nature ; they talked how God had visited their 
souls with His love in the Lord Jesus, and with 
what words and promises they had been refreshed, 
comforted, and supported, against the temptations 
of the devil: moreover, they reasoned of the 
suggestions and temptations of Satan in particular ; 
and told to each other, by which they had been 
afflicted and how they were borne up under his 

3^ 



INSPIRING CONVERSATION 

assaults. They also discoursed of their own 
wretchedness of heart, and of their unbelief; and 
did contemn, slight and abhor their own righteous- 
ness, as filthy, and insufficient to do them any 
good. 

2,S. And, methought, they spake as if joy did 
make them speak ; they spake with such pleasant- 
ness of scripture language, and with such appearance 
of grace in all they said, that they w^ere to me, as 
if they had found a new world ; as if they were 
people that dwelt alone^ and were not to be reckoned 
among their neighbours. Numb, xxiii. 9. 

39. At this I felt my own heart began to shake, 
and mistrust my condition to be , 

, P T u • n ^ ^^ Ignorant 

naught ; for 1 saw that m all my of the new- 
thoughts about religion and salvation, 
the new-birth did never enter into my mind ; neither 
knew I the comfort of the word and promise, nor 
the deceitfulness and treachery of my ow^n wicked 
heart. As for secret thoughts, I took no notice of 
them ; neither did I understand what Satan's tempta- 
tions were, nor how they were to be withstood, and 
resisted, etc. 

40. Thus, therefore, when I had heard and con- 
sidered what they said, I left them, , , . . 

. , •' ' , ' I feel I lack the 

and went about my employment true tokens of a 

again, but their talk and discourse truly godly man 
went with me ; also my heart would tarry with them, 
for I was greatly affected with their words, both 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

because by them I was convinced that I wanted the 
true tokens of a truly godly man, and also because 
by them I was convinced of the happy and blessed 
condition of him that was such a one. 

41. Therefore I should often make it my business 
to be going again and again into the company of these 
poor people; for I could not stay away; and the 
more I went amongst them, the more I did question 
my condition; and as I still do remember, presently 
I found two things within me, at which I did some- 
times marvel (especially considering what a blind, 
ignorant, sordid and ungodly wretch but just before 
I was). The one was a very great softness and 
tenderness of heart, which caused me to fall under 
the conviction of what by scripture they asserted, 
and the other was a great bending in my mind, 
to a continual meditating on it, and on all other 
good things, which at any time I heard or read of. 

42. By these things my mind was now so turned, that 

it lay like an horse-leech at the vein, 

My mind more .,, . ^. ^. ^^ 

fixed on things Still crymg out, Lrive^ Lrive^ rrov. xxx. 

cteraity"^^ 1 5 ; yea, it was so fixed on eternity, 

and on the things about the kingdom 

of heaven (that is, so far as I knew, though as yet, 

God knows, I knew but little), that neither pleasures, 

nor profits, nor persuasions, nor threats, could loose 

it, or make it let go its hold ; and though I may speak 

it with shame, yet it is in very deed, a certain truth, it 

would then have been as difficult for me to have taken 

34 



A PRAYER FOR GUIDANCE 

my mind from heaven to earth, as I have found it 
often since, to get again from earth to heaven. 

43. One thing I may not omit : There was a young 
man in our town, to whom my heart j ^^^^ ^ ^i^ 
before was knit, more than to any companion 
other, but he being a most wicked creature for 
cursing, and swearing, and whoreing, I now shook 
him off, and forsook his company ; but about a 
quarter of a year after I had left him, I met him in 
a certain lane, and asked him how he did: he, 
after his old swearing and mad way, answered, he 
was well. But, Harry, said I, why do you curse 
and swear thus ? What will become of you, if you die 
in this condition ? He answered me in a great chafe. 
What would the devil do for company^ if it were not 
for such as I am P 

44. About this time I met with some Ranters' 

books, that were put forth by some of 

r. V , , Some Ranters' 

our countrymen, which books were books come 

also highly in esteem by several old j^pray^^r^**^' 

professors ; some of these I read, guidance to 
r ' , , , ' read them 

but was not able to make any 

judgment about them ; wherefore as I read in 

them, and thought upon them (seeing myself unable 

to judge), I would betake myself to hearty prayer in 

this manner. Lord^ I am a fool^ and not able to 

know the truth from error : Lord^ leave me not to my 

own blindness, either to approve of or condemn this 

doctrine \ if it be of God^ let me not despise it ; if it be 

35 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

of the devil^ let me not embrace it, Lord^ 1 lay my 
soul in this matter only at Thy foot^ let me not be 
deceived^ I humbly beseech Thee. I had one religious 
intimate companion all this while, and that was the 
poor man I spoke of before ; but about this time, he 

also turned a most devilish Ranter, 
JSmJanSn Turns ^nd gave himself up to all manner of 
a devihsh filthiness, especially uncleanness : he 

would also deny that there was a 
God, angel, or spirit ; and would laugh at all 
exhortations to sobriety ; when I laboured to 
rebuke his wickedness he would laugh the more, 
and pretend that he had gone through all religions, 
and could never light on the right till now. He 
told me also, that in a little time I should see all 
professors turn to the ways of the Ranters. Where- 
fore, abominating those cursed principles, I left his 
company forthwith, and became to him as great 
a stranger, as I had been before a familiar. 

45. Neither was this man only a temptation to me, 
but my calling lying in the country, 1 happened to 
light into several people's company, who though 
strict in religion formerly, yet were also swept auay 
by these Ranters. These would also talk with me 
of their ways, and condemn me as legal and dark ; 
pretending that they only had attained to perfection, 
that could do what they would and not sin. Oh ! 
these temptations were suitable to my flesh, I being 
but a young man and my nature in its prime ; but 

36 



NEW SIGHT FOR THE BIBLE 

God, who had, as I hoped, designed me for better 

things, kept me in the fear of His name, and did not 

suffer me to accept such cursed principles. And 

blessed be God, Who put it into my ^ ^ 

heart to cry to Him to be kept and answered. The 

, .,1 1. • Bible precious 

directed, still distrustmg my own 

wisdom ; for I have since seen even the effects of 

that prayer, in His preserving me, not only from 

Ranting errors, but from those also that have sprung 

up since. The Bible was precious to me in those 

days. 

46. And now methought, I began to look into 
the Bible with new eyes, and read as I never did 
before, and especially the epistles of the apostle St 
Paul were sweet and pleasant to me ; and indeed I 
was then never out of the Bible, either by reading 
or meditation ; still crying out to God, that I might 
know the truth, and way to heaven and glory. 

47. And as I went on and read, I lighted upon that 
passage, To one is given, by the Spirit, ^^ understand- 
the word of wisdom ; to another the ing of scripture 
word of knowledge by the same Spirit ; and to another 
faith, etc. i Cor. xii. And though, as I have 

since seen, that by this scripture the Holy Ghost 
intends, in special, things extraordinary, yet on me 
it did then fasten with conviction, that I did want 
things ordinary, even that understanding and wisdom 
that other Christians had. On this word I mused, 
and could not tell what to do, especially this word 

37 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

* Faith ' put me to it, for I could not help it, but 
sometimes must question, whether I had any faith, 
or no ; but I was loath to conclude, I had no faith ; 
for if I do so, thought I, then I shall count myself a 
very cast-away indeed. 

48. No, said I, with myself, though I am convinced 

I am an ignorant ^^^^ ^ ^"^ ^^ ignorant sot, and that I 
sot want those blessed gifts of knowledge 

and understanding that other people have ; yet at a 
venture I will conclude, I am not altogether faithless, 
though I know not what faith is ; for it was shewn 
me, and that too (as I have seen since) by Satan, that 
those who conclude themselves in a faithless state, 
have neither rest nor quiet in their souls ; and I was 
loath to fall quite into despair. 

49. Wherefore by this suggestion I was, for a 

while, made afraid to see my want of 
S;ingfait°ho?^ faith; but God would not suffer me 
no, a trouble to thus to undo and destroy my soul, but 

did continually, against this my sad 
and blind conclusion, create still within me such 
suppositions, insomuch that I could not rest content, 
until I did now come to some certain knowledge, 
whether I had faith or no, this always running in my 
mind, But how if you want faith indeed ? But how 
can you tell you have faith ? And besides, I saw for 
certain, if I had not, I was sure to perish for ever. 

50. So that though I endeavoured at the first to 
look over the business of Faith, yet in a little time, I 

38 



A SORE TEMPTATION 

better considering the matter, was willing to put my- 
self upon the trial whether I had faith or no. But 
alas, poor wretch ! so ignorant and brutish was I, that 
I knew not to this day no more how to do it, than 
I know how to begin and accomplish that rare and 
curious piece of art, which I never yet saw or 
considered. 

51. Wherefore while I was thus considering, and 
beine: put to my plune^e about it (for ^, 

° ^ , \^ ° T 1 1 • 1 . T^e temptation 

you must know, that as yet I had m this hot upon me to 
matter broken my mind to no man, ^<^^^ ^ "^^^<^i« 
only did hear and consider), the tempter came in with 
this delusion, That there was no way for me to know 
I hadfaith^ but by trying to work some miracle ; urging 
those scriptures that seem to look that way, for the 
enforcing and strengthening his temptation. Nay, 
one day, as I was between Elstow and Bedford^ the 
temptation was hot upon me, to try if I had faith, 
by doing some miracle ; which miracle at this time 
was this, I must say to the puddles that were in the 
horsepads. Be dry ; and to the dry places^ Be you 
puddles : and truly one time I was going to say so 
indeed; but just as I was about to speak, this 
thought came into my mind; But go under yonder 
hedge and pray first ^ that God would make you able. 
But when I had concluded to pray, this came hot 
upon me; That if I prayed, and came again, and 
tried to do it, and yet did nothing notwithstanding, 
then to be sure I had no faith, but was a cast-away, 

39 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

and lost ; nay, thought I, if it be so, I will not try- 
yet, but will stay a little longer. 

52. So I continued at a great loss; for I thought, 

if they only had faith, which could do 

twTxt t?fe ^de^'l SO wonderful things, then I concluded, 

and my own ig- ^j^^^ for the present I neither had it, 

norance * ' 

nor yet for the time to come, were 
ever like to have it. Thus I was tossed betwixt the 
devil and my own ignorance, and so perplexed, especi- 
ally at some times, that I could not tell what to do. 

$^. About this time, the state and happiness of 
Akindofavision ^^ese poor people at Bedford wrs thus, 
presented to me ^^ ^ kind of a vision^ presented to me, 
I saw as if they were on the sunny side of some 
high mountain, there refreshing themselves with the 
pleasant beams of the sun, while I was shivering and 
shrinking in the cold, afflicted with frost, snow and 
dark clouds : methought also, betwixt me and them, 
I saw a wall that did compass about this mountain, 
now through this wall my soul did greatly desire to 
pass ; concluding, that if I could, I would even go 
into the very midst of them, and there also comfort 
myself with the heat of their sun. 

54. About this wall I bethought myself, to go again 

How I get ^^^ ^g^^"> s^^^^ prying as I went, to 

through a wall ggg jf \ could find some way or passage, 
by which I might enter therein : but none could I 
find for some time : at the last, I saw, as it were, a 
narrow gap, like a little door-way in the wall, through 

40 



A WONDERFUL VISION 

which I attempted to pass : Now the passage being 
very strait and narrow, I made many offers to get 
in, but all in vain, even until I was well-nigh quite 
beat out, by striving to get in ; at last, with great 
striving, methought I at first did get in my head, 
and after that, by a sideling striving, my shoulders, 
and my whole body ; then I was exceeding glad, 
went and sat down in the midst of them, and so was 
comforted with the light and heat of their sun. 

^^. Now this mountain, and wall, etc., was thus 
made out to me : The mountain i ^et the vision 
signified the church of the living God : explained 
the sun that shone thereon, the comfortable shining of 
His merciful face on them that were therein ; the 
wall I thought was the word, that did make separa- 
tion between the Christians and the world; and the 
gap which was in the wall, I thought, was Jesus 
Christ, Who is the way to God the Father. John 
xiv. 6; Matt. vii. 14. But forasmuch as the pas- 
sage was wonderful narrow, even so narrow that I 
could not, but with great difficulty, enter in thereat, 
it showed me, that none could enter into life, but 
those that were in downright earnest, and unless 
also they left that wicked world behind them ; for 
here was only room for body and soul, but not for 
body and soul and sin. 

56. This resemblance abode upon my spirit many 
days ; all which time I saw myself in a forlorn and 
sad condition, but yet was provoked to a vehement 

41 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

hanger and desire to be one of that number that 
did sit in the sunshine : Now also I should pray- 
wherever I was : whether at home or abroad ; in 
house or field ; and would also often, with lifting up of 
heart, sing that of the fifty-first Psalm, Lord^ con- 
sider my distress ; for as yet I knew not where I was. 
^y. Neither as yet could I attain to any comfortable 
persuasion that I had faith in Christ ; 

My soul \ , , r 1 . . r ' 

assaulted with but mstead ot havmg satisfaction 
res ou s here, I began to find my soul to be 

assaulted with fresh doubts about my future happi- 
ness ; especially with such as these, whether I was 
elected P But how^ if the day of grace should now be 
past and gone ? 

58. By these two temptations I was very much 
I am disquieted afflicted and disquieted ; sometimes by 
about election q^c, and sometimes by the other of 
them. And first, to speak of that about my 
questioning my election, I found at this time, that 
though I was in a flame to find the way to heaven 
and glory, and though nothing could beat me off" 
from this, yet this question did so oiTend and dis- 
courage me, that I was, especially sometimes, as if the 
very strength of my body also had been taken away 
by the force and power thereof. This scripture 
did also seem to me to trample upon all my desires ; 
// is not of him that willeth^ nor of him that runneth ; 
but of God that showeth mercy, Rom. ix. 16. 

59. With this scripture I could not tell what to do : 

42 



A PERPLEXING QUESTION 

for I evidently saw, unless that the great God, of 
Kis infinite grace and bounty, had voluntarily chosen 
me to be a vessel of mercy, though I should desire, 
^nd long, and labour until my heart did break, no 
good could come of it. Therefore this would stick 
\^ith me. How can you tell that you are elected ? And 
what if you should not ? How then ? 

60. O Lord, thought I, what if I should not in- 
deed ? It may be you are not, said the Tempter ; 
it may be so indeed, thought I. "Why then, said 
Satan, you had as good leave off, and strive no 
farther ; for if indeed, you should not be elected 
and chosen of God, there is no talk of your being 
saved; For it is not of him that willeth, nor of him 
that runneth ; hut of God that showeth mercy. 

61. By these things I was driven to my wits' end, 
not knowing what to say, or how to i was driven to 
answer these temptations : (indeed, I ^^ ^^^' ®°^ 
little thought that Satan had thus assaulted me, but 
that rather it was my own prudence thus to start 
the question) ; for that the elect only attained 
eternal life ; that, I without scruple did heartily 
close withal ; but that myself was one of them, there 
lay the question. 

62. Thus therefore, for several days, I was 
greatly assaulted and perplexed, and . 
was often, when I have been walking, assaulted and 
ready to sink where I went, with P ^ ^^ 
faintness in my mind j but one day, after I had been 

43 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

so many weeks oppressed and cast down therewith, 
as I was now quite giving up the ghost of all my 
hopes of ever attaining life, that sentence fell with 
weight upon my spirit, Look at the generations of 
old^ and see ; did ever any trust in God, and were 
confounded ? 

(>'7^, At which I was greatly lightened, and en- 
A text enlightens couraged in my soul ; for thus, at that 
and encourages yerv instant, it was expounded to 

my soul T> . ; / • . r 

me : Begin at the beginning of 
Genesis^ and read to the end of the Revelations^ and see 
if you canjind^ that there were ever any that trusted in 
the Lord^ and were confounded. So coming home, 
I presently went to my Bible, to see if I could find 
that saying, not doubting but to find it presently ; for 
it was so fresh, and with such strength and comfort 
on my spirit, that it was as if it talked with me. 

64. Well, I looked, but I found it not ; only it 
abode upon me : Then did I ask first this good man, 
and then another, if they knew where it was, but 
they knew no such place. At this I wondered, that 
such a sentence should so suddenly, and with such 
comfort and strength, seize, and abide upon my 
heart ; and yet that none could find it (for I doubted 
not but that it was in holy scripture). 

6^. Thus I continued above a year, and could not 
I find the text in find the place; but at last, casting 
the Apocrypha ^^ ^^^ ^^^^ ^j^^ Apocrypha books, 

I found it in Ecclesiasticus^ Eccles. ii. 10. This, at 

44 



IN GREAT DISTRESS 

the first, did somewhat daunt me ; but because by 
this time I had got more experience of the love and 
kindness of God, it troubled me the less, especially 
when I considered that though it was not in those 
texts that we call holy and canonical ; yet forasmuch 
as this sentence was the sum and substance of many 
of the promises, it was my duty to take the comfort 
of it ; and I bless God for that word, for it was of 
God to me: that word doth still at times shine 
before my face. 

66. After this, that other doubt did come with 
strength upon me, But how if the ,, , ^, 

o / ,7 7 1 My doubts as to 

day of grace should be past and gone ? the ' day of 
How if you have overstood the time 
of mercy? Now I remember that one day, as I 
was walking in the country, I was much in the 
thoughts of this, But how if the day of grace is 
past ? And to aggravate my trouble, the Tempter 
presented to my mind those good people of Bedford^ 
and suggested thus unto me, that these being con- 
verted already, they were all that God would save 
in those parts ; and that I came too late, for these 
had got the blessing before I came. 

67. Now I was in great distress, thinking in very 
deed that this might well be so ; wherefore I went 
up and down, bemoaning my sad condition ; count- 
ing myself far worse than a thousand fools for 
standing off thus long, and spending so many years 
in sin as I had done ; still crying out, Oh ! that I 

45 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

had turned sooner! Oh! that I had turned seven 
years ago ! It made me also angry with myself, to 
think that I should have no more wit, but to trifle 
away my time, till my soul and heaven were lost. 

68. But when I had been long vexed with this 
Sweet words fezT, and was scarce able to take one 
come to me g^^p ^^Qj-e, just about the same place 
where I received my other encouragement, these 
words broke in upon my mind. Compel them to 
come in^ that my house may he jilled ; and yet there is 
room. Luke xiv. 22, 23. These words, but 
especially those, And yet there is room^ were sweet 
words to me ; for truly I thought that by them I 
saw there was place enough in heaven for me ; and 
moreover, that when the Lord Jesus did speak these 
words. He then did think of me : and that He know- 
ing that the time would come, that I should be 
afflicted with fear, that there was no place left for 
me in His bosom, did before speak this word, and 
leave it upon record, that I might find help thereby 
against this vile temptation. This I then verily 
believed. 

69. In the light and encouragement of this word I 

_, ^ went a pretty while ; and the comfort 

The words , ^ ^ 1 t 1 1 i_ 

encourage me a was the more, when I thought that 
pre ty w 1 e ^^^ Lord Jesus should think on me 

so long ago, and that He should speak those words 
on purpose for my sake ; for I did think verily, that 
He did on purpose speak them to encourage me withal. 

46 



TYPES AND FIGURES 

70. But I was not without my temptations to go 
back again ; temptations I say, both j ^^^^^^ ^^ 
from Satan, mine own heart, and Nebuchadnezzar 
carnal acquaintance ; but I thank God these were 
outweighed by that sound sense of death, and of 
the day of judgment, which abode, as it were, con- 
tinually in my view : I would often also think on 
Nebuchadnezzar ; of whom it is said. He had given 
him all the kingdoms of the earth. Dan. v. 18, 19. 
Yet, thought I, if this great man had all his portion 
in this world, one hour in hell-fire would make him 
forget all. Which consideration was a great help 
to me. 

71. I was also made, about this time, to see some- 
thing concerning the beasts that i see something 
Moses counted clean and unclean: concerning types 
I thought those beasts were types of men ; the clean^ 
types of them that were the people of God ; but the 
unclean., types of such as were the children of the 
wicked one. Now I read, that the clean beasts 
chewed the cud\ that is, thought I, they show us, 
we must feed upon the word of God: they also 
parted the hoof. I thought that signified, we must 
part, if we would be saved, with the ways of ungodly 
men. And also, in further reading about them, I 
found, that though we did chew the cud, as the 
hare\ yet if we walked with claws, like a dog; or 
if we did part the hoof, like the swine., yet if we did 
not chew the cud, as the sheep, we were still, for all 

47 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

that, but unclean : for I thought the hare to be a 
type of those that talk of the word, yet walk in the 
ways of sin ; and that the swine was like him that 
parted with his outward pollutions, but still wanteth 
the word of faith, without which there could be no 
way of salvation, let a man be never so devout. 
Deut. xiv. After this, I found by reading the word, 
that those that must be glorified with Christ in 
another world must he called by Him here ; called to 
the partaking of a share in His word and righteous- 
ness, and to the comforts and first-fruits of His Spirit ; 
and to a peculiar interest in all those heavenly 
things, which do indeed prepare the soul for that 
rest, and house of glory, which is in heaven above. 

72. Here again I was at a very great stand, 
I fear I am not ^^t knowing what to do, fearing I 
called was not called ; for, thought I, if I 
be not called, what then can do me good ? None but 
those who are effectually called inherit the kingdom of 
heaven. But oh ! how I now loved those words 
that spake of a Christians calling/ as when the 
Lord said to one. Follow Me-, and to another, 
Come after Me : and oh, thought I, that He would 
say so to me too : how gladly would I run after Him ! 

73. I cannot now express with what longings and 
breathings in my soul, I cried to 

I continued all ° -^ 1^ 

on a flame to be Christ tO call me. Thus 1 con- 
converted ^j^^^^ ^^^ ^ ^j^^^ ^jj ^^ ^ ^^^^ ^^ 

be converted to Jesus Christ; and did also see at 

48 



FAINT AND FEARFUL 

that day, such glory in a converted state, that I 
could not be contented without a share therein. 
Gold! could it have been gotten for gold, what 
would I have given for it ? Had I had a whole world, 
it had all gone ten thousand times over for this, that 
my soul might have been in a converted state. 

74. How lovely now was every one in my eyes, 
that I thoueht to be converted men ^„^ ^ , ^^ 

mi 1 What I thought 

and women. They shone, they walked of converted 
like a people that carried the broad ^^°^ ^ 
seal of heaven about them. Oh ! I saw the lot 
was fallen to them in pleasant places, and they had a 
goodly heritage. Psalm xvi. But that which made 
me sick, was that of Christ, in St Mark, He goefb 
up into a mountain^ and calleth unto Hi?n whom He 
would^ and they came unto Him. Mark iii. 1 3. 

"j^. This scripture made me faint and fear, yet 
it kindled fire in my soul. That _ ,.„ , , 

•' 1-1 ^ ^*^^^ feared 

which made me fear, was this; lest Christ would not 
Christ should have no liking to me, 
for He called whom He would. But oh ! the glory 
that I saw in that condition, did still so engage my 
heart, that I could seldom read of any that Christ 
did call, but I presently wished. Would I had been 
in their clothes^ would 1 had been born Peter ; would 
I had been born John ; or., would I had been by and had 
heard Him when He called them., how would I have 
cried., Lord., call me also I But., oh ! I feared He 
would not call me, 

D 49 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

76. And truly, the Lord let me go thus many 
months together, and shewed me nothing; either 
that I was ah-eady, or should be called hereafter : 
but at last after much time spent, and many groans 
to God, that I might be made partaker of the holy 
and heavenly calling ; that word came in upon me : 
/ will cleanse their bloody that I have not cleansed^ 
for the Lord dwelleth in Zion, Joel iii. 21. These 
words I thought were sent to encourage me to 
wait still upon God ; and signified unto me, that 
if I were not already, yet time might come, I might 
be in truth converted unto Christ. 

yy. About this time I began to break my mind 

to those poor people in Bedford, and 
MrGiffordin- „ / ^ ^ ,. . ,.1 

vitesmetohis to tell them my condition; which 

^°"'^ when they had heard, they told Mr 

Gifford of me, who himself also took occasion to 
talk with me, and was willing to be well persuaded 
of me, though I think from little grounds: but he 
invited me to his house, where I should hear him 
confer with others, about the dealings of GoJ with 
their souls; from all which I still received more 
conviction, and from that time began to see some- 
thing of the vanity and inward wretchedness of my 
wicked heart; for as yet I knew no great matter 
therein ; but now it began to be discovered unto me, 
and also to work at that rate as it never did before. 
Now I evidently found, that lusts and corruptions 
put forth themselves within me, in wicked thoughts 

50 




BUNYAN AT THK HoUSE OF Mr. GlFFORD. 

He invited 7ne to his house, where I should hear him confer with others^ 
about the dealings of God with their souls. 



FAR FROM CONVERSION 

and desires, which I did not regard before ; my 
desires also for heaven and life began to fail; I 
found also, that whereas before my soul was full 
of longing after God, now it began to hanker after 
every foolish vanity ; yea, my heart ._ , , , 

•' J •> J 1 J My soul hankers 

would not be moved to mind that after every 

, . , J • ^ •!_ 1. foolish vanity 

which was good ; it began to be 
careless, both of my soul and heaven ; it would now 
continually hang back, both to, and in every duty; 
and was as a clog on the leg of a bird, to hinder 
me from flying. 

78. Nay, thought I, now I grow worse and 
worse : now I am farther from con- , 

version than ever 1 was before, and worse 
Wherefore I began to sink greatly in my soul, and 
began to entertain such discouragement in my heart, 
as laid me as low as hell. If now I should have 
burned at the stake, I could not believe that Christ 
had love for me : alas ! I could neither hear Him, 
nor see Him, nor feel Him, nor favour any of His 
things; I was driven as with a tempest, my heart 
would be unclean, and the Canaanites would dwell 
in the land. 

79. Sometimes I would tell my condition to the 
people of God; which, when they The people of 
heard, they would pity me, and would ^^^ P^^ ™® 
tell me of the promises ; but they had as good have 
told me, that I must reach the sun with my finger, 
as have bidden me receive or rely upon the promises : 

51 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

and as soon I should have done it. All my sense 
and feeling were against me ; and I saw I had an 
heart that would sin, and that lay under a law 
that would condemn. 

80. These things have often made me think of 
the child which the father brought to Christ, who^ 
while he was yet coming to Him, was thrown down by 
the devil, and also so rent and torn by him, that he 
lay down and wallowed, foaming. Luke ix. 42 ; 
Mark ix. 20. 

81. Further, in these days, I would find my 
*• f- _i. f. ^ heart to shut itself up against the 

My heart shut , j j • tt- i, 1 j t 

up agamst the Lord, and agamst His holy word : I 
have found my unbelief to set, as it 
were, the shoulder to the door, to keep Him out ; 
and that too even then, when I have with many a 
bitter sigh, cried, Good Lord, break it open : Lord, 
break these gates of brass, and cut these bars of iron 
asunder. Psalm cvii. 16. Yet that word would 
sometimes create in my heart a peaceable pause, 
/ girded thee, though thou hast not known Me. 
Isaiah xlv. 5. 

82. But all this while, as to the act of sinning, 

I was never more tender than now: 
My conscience ^ - ^ 

sore, I go my hmder parts were mward : I durst 

gingery ^^^ ^^j^^ ^ pl^ ^^ Stick, though but 

so big as a straw ; for my conscience now was sore, 

and would smart at every touch : I could not now 

tell how to speak my words, for fear I should mi^- 

5^ 



ON A MIRY BOG 

place them. Oh, how gingerly did I then go, in 
all I did or said ! I found myself as on a miry bog, 
that shook if I did but stir, and was, as there, left 
both of God and Christ, and the Spirit, and all 
good things. 

83. But I observed, though I was such a great 
sinner before conversion, yet God never much 
charged the guilt of the sins of my ignorance upon 
me ; only He showed me, I was lost if I had not 
Christ, because I had been a sinner: I saw that I 
wanted a perfect righteousness to present me 
without fault before God, and this righteousness 
was no where to be found, but in the Person of 
Jesus Christ. 

84. But my original and inward pollution ; That, 

that was my plaeue and affliction, that ,, , ,, 

J i^ o 1 More loathsome 

I saw at a dreadful rate, always in mine own eyes 

• r^^^^^^• 1 thsjl Si toa.Q 

puttmg forth itself withm me; that 
I had the guilt of, to amazement ; by reason of that, 
I was more loathsome in mine own eyes than was a 
toad, and I thought I was so in God's eyes too : 
Sin and corruption, I said, would as naturally bubble 
out of my heart, as water would bubble out of a 
fountain : I thought now, that every one had a 
better heart than I had ; I could have changed 
heart with any body; I thought none but the 
devil himself could equalise me for inward wicked- 
ness and pollution of mind. I fell therefore at the 
sight of my own vileness deeply into despair ; for I 

53 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

concluded, that this condition that I was in, could 

not stand with a state of grace. Sure, thought I, 

„ , I am forsaken of God ; sure, I am 

* Sure, lam . i i •, i 

given up to the given up to the devil, and to a 
reprobate mind : and thus I con- 
tinued a long while, even for some years together. 

85. While I was thus afflicted with the fears of 
Twothing-s ^7 ^^^ damnation, there were two 
make me wonder things would make me wonder; the 
one was, when I saw old people hunting after the 
things of this life, as if they should live here always : 
the other was, when I found professors much dis- 
tressed and cast down, when they met with out- 
ward losses ; as of husband, wife, child, etc. Lord, 
thought I, what a-do is here about such little things 
as these ! What seeking after carnal things, by 
some, and what grief in others for the loss of them ! 
if they so much labour after, and shed so many 
tears for the things of this present life, how am I 
to be bemoaned, pitied, and prayed for! My soul 
is dying, my soul is damning. Were my soul but 
in a good condition, and were I but sure of it, ah ! 
how rich should I esteem myself, though blessed 
but with bread and water! I should count those 
but small afflictions, and should bear them as 
little burthens. A wounded spirit who can 
bear / 

86. And though I was much troubled, and tossed, 
and afflicted, with the sight and sense and terror of 

54 



TROUBLED AND TOSSED 

my own wickedness, yet I was afraid to let this 
sight and sense go quite oiF my mind : for I found, 
that unless guilt of conscience was 
taken off the right way, that is, by the Jf^sdencr" 

blood of Christ, a man ojrew rather taken off the 

' o right way 

worse for the loss of his trouble of 

mind, than better. Wherefore, if my guilt lay 

hard upon me, then I should cry that the blood of 

Christ might take it oiF: and if it was going off 

without it (for the sense of sin would be sometimes 

as if it would die, and go quite away), then I would 

also strive to fetch it upon my heart again, by 

bringing the punishment of sin in hell fire upon my 

spirit ; and should cry, Lord^ let it not go off my 

hearty but the right ivay^ by the blood of Christy and 

the application of Thy mercy ^ through Him^ to my soul ; 

for that scripture lay much upon me, without 

shedding of blood is no remission, Heb. ix. 22. And 

that which made me the more afraid of this, was, 

because I had seen some, who though when they 

were under wounds of conscience, would cry and 

pray; yet seeking rather present ease from their 

trouble, than pardon for their sin, cared not how 

they lost their guilt, so they got it out of their 

mind : now, having got it off the wrong way, it was 

not sanctified unto them ; but they grew harder 

and blinder, and more wicked after their trouble. 

This made me afraid, and made me cry to God the 

more, that it might not be so with me. 

SS 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

87. And now I was sorry that God had made me 

^^ ^ man, for I feared I was a reprobate ; 

I was sorry that ' * , 

God had made I counted man as unconverted, the 
most doleful of all the creatures. 
Thus being afflicted and tossed about my sad con- 
dition, I counted myself alone, and above the most 
of men unblessed. 

88. Yea, I thought it impossible that ever I 

should attain to so much goodness of 
condition of* heart, as to thank God that He had 

beasts, birds, made me a man. Man indeed is 
nshes, etc. 

the most noble by creation, of all 
creatures in the visible world ; but by sin he has 
made himself the most ignoble. The beasts, birds, 
iishes, etc. I blessed their condition ; for they had 
not a sinful nature ; they were not obnoxious to the 
wrath of God ; they were not to go to hell-fire 
after death ; I could therefore have rejoiced, had 
my condition been as any of theirs. '^ 

89. In this condition I went a great while, but 
I get comfort by ^heu Comforting time was come, I 
a sermon heard one preach a sermon on these 
words in the song. Song iv. i, Behold^ thou art 
fair^ my love^ heboid^ thou art fair. But at that time 
he made these two words, my love^ his chief and 
subject matter: from which, after he had a little 
opened the text, he observed these several con- 
clusions : I. That the churchy and so every saved soul^ 
is Chris fs love^ when loveless, 2. Christ's love with- 

56 



'THOU ART MY LOVE' 

out a cause, 3. Christ's love^ when hated of the world. 
4. Christ's love^ when under temptation and under 
destruction. 5. Christ's love^fromjirst to last. 

90. But I got nothing by what he said at present ; 
only when he came to the application of the fourth 
particular, this was the word he said ; If it be so, 
that the saved soul is Christ's love, when under 
temptation and desertion ; then poor tempted soul^ when 
thou art assaulted^ and afflicted with temptations^ and 
the hidings of God's face^ yet think on these two words ^ 
'My love,' still. 

91. So as I was going home, these words came 
again into my thoughts ; and I well 

lemember, as they came in, I said * my love,' make 
thus in my heart. What shall I get ^^ °° "^* 
by thinking on these two words P This thought had 
no sooner passed through my heart, but these 
words began thus to kindle in my spirit, Thou art 
My Love., thou art My Dove., twenty times together ; 
and still as they ran in my mind, they waxed 
stronger and warmer, and began to make me look 
up; but being as yet, between hope and fear, I 
still replied in my heart, But is it true., but is it 
true? At which that sentence fell upon me, He 
wist not that it was true., which was done by the 
Angel, Acts xii. 9. 

92. Then I began to give place to the word 
which with power, did over and over make this joy- 
ful sound within my soul, ' Thou art My Love., thou 

S7 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

art My Love^ and nothing shall separate thee from Mj 
,, , . „ , Love. And with that my heart was 

My heart full of rn i r n r r 11 

comfort and filled full of comfort and hope, and 

^^^ now I could believe that my sins 

should be forgiven me ; yea, I was now so taken 
with the love and mercy of God, that I remember 
I could not tell how to contain till I got home : I 
thought I could have spoken of His love, and have 
told of His mercy to me, even to the very crows 
that sat upon the ploughed lands before me, had 
they been capable to have understood me : where- 
fore I said in my soul, with much gladness, PF<?//, 
/ would I had a pen and ink here., I would write this 
down before I go any farther; for surely I will not 
forget this forty years hence. But, alas! within 
less than forty days I began to question all again ; 
which made me begin to question all still. 

93. Yet still at times I was helped to believe, 

that it was a true manifestation of 
A text warns 
me of a coming grace unto my soul, though I had 

°^°^ lost much of the life and favour of 

it. Now about a week or a fortnight after this I 

was much followed by this scripture, Simon., 

Simon; behold., Satan hath desired to have you., 

Luke xxii. 31, and sometimes it would sound so loud 

within me, yea, and as it was, call so strongly after 

me, that once, above all the rest, I turned my head 

over my shoulder, thinking verily that some man 

had behind me, called me ; being at a great distance, 

58 



A VERY GREAT STORM 

methought he called so loud : it came, as I have 
thought since, to have stirred me up to prayer, and 
to watchfulness: it came to acquaint me, that a 
cloud and a storm was coming down upon me : but 
I understood it not. 

94. Also, as I remember, that time that it called 
to me so loud, was the last time that The voice loudly 
it sounded in mine ears ; but me- calls to me 
thinks I hear still with what a loud voice these 
words, Simon^ Simon^ sounded in mine ears. I 
thought verily, as I have told you, that somebody 
had called after me, that was half a mile behind me : 
and although that was not my name, yet it made 
me suddenly look behind me, believing that he that 
called so loud, meant me. 

95. But so foolish was I, and ignorant, that I 

knew not the reason of this sound ; 

I muse and 
(which as I did both see and feel soon wonder as to the 

after, was sent from heaven as an ^^^°" 

alarm, to awaken me to provide for what was coming,) 

only I should muse and wonder in my mind, to think 

what should be the reason of this scripture, and 

that at this rate, so often and so loud, should still 

be sounding and rattling in mine ears : but, as I 

said before, I soon after perceived the end of God 

therein. 

96. For, about the space of a month after, a 
very great storm came down upon me, which handled 
me twenty times worse than all I had met with 

59 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

before ; it came stealing upon me, now by one piece, 
then by another : First, all my com- 

A very great J ' ^ 

storm came tort was taken from me ; then 

down upon me , , . , r 

darkness seized upon me ; arter 
which, whole floods of blasphemies, both against 
God, Christ, and the scriptures, were poured upon 
my spirit, to my great confusion and astonishment. 
These blasphemous thoughts were such as stirred 
up questions in me against the very being of God, 
and of His only beloved Son : As, whether there 
were in truth, a God or Christ ? And whether the 
holy scriptures were not rather a fable, and cunning 
story, than the holy and pure word of God ? 

97. The tempter would also much assault me with 
The tempter ^^^s, Hcov can you tell but that the 
assaults me Turks had as good scriptures to prove 
their Mahomet the Saviour^ as we have to prove our 
Jesus is ? And^ could I think^ that so many ten 
thousands^ in so many countries and kingdoms^ should 
be without the knowledge of the right way to heaven^ 
(if there were indeed a heaveri) ; and that we only^ 
who live in a corner of the earthy should alone be blessed 
therewith ? Every one doth think his own religion 
Tightest^ both Jews <^«<i Moors, and Pagans ; and how 
if all our faith ^ and Christy and scriptures^ should be 
but a think so too P 

98. Sometimes I have endeavoured to argue 
against these suggestions, and to set some of the 
sentences of blessed Paul against them ; but alas ! I 

60 



SATANIC SUGGESTIONS 

quickly felt, when I thus did, such arguings as these 
would return again upon me, Though j ^^ ^^^ ^^^^^^ 

we made so great a matter of Paul^ Paul against his 
and of his words ^ yet how could I tell^ 
but that in very deed^ he being a subtle and cunning 
man^ might give himself up to deceive with strong 
delusions : and also take the pains and travel^ to undo 
and destroy his fellows. 

99. These suggestions, (with many others which 
at this time I may not, and dare not ^^ 

, ^ : N J.J These sugges- 

utter, neither by word or pen,) did tions continue 

I , . . . with fiery force 

make such a seizure upon my spirit, 
and did so overweigh my heart, both with their 
number, continuance, and fiery force, that I fek as 
if there were nothing else but these from morning 
to night within me ; and as though indeed there 
could be room for nothing else ; and also concluded, 
that God had, in very wrath to my soul, given me 
up to them, to be carried away with them, as with a 
mighty whirlwind. 

100. Only by the distaste that they gave unto 
my spirit, / felt there was somethinz in ^ ... 

1 r J T^ Something m 

me that refused to embrace them. But me that refused 

^1 • ' ^ ^' T ^-u 1 1- J to embrace them 

this consideration 1 then only had, 

when God gave me leave to swallow my spittle ; 

otherwise the noise, and strength, and force of these 

temptations would drown and overflow, and as it 

were, bury all such thoughts, or the remem.brance 

pf any such thing. While I was in this temptation, 

61 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

I often found my mind suddenly put upon it to 
curse and swear, or to speak some grievous 
thing against God, or Christ His Son, and of the 
scriptures. 

ID I. Now I thought, surely I am possessed of the 
I am possessed devil : at Other times, ajain, I thought 
of the devil J should be bereft of my wits; for 

instead of lauding and magnifying God the Lord, 
with others, if I have but heard Him spoken of, 
presently some most horrible blasphemous thought 
or other would bolt out of my heart against Him ; 
so that whether I did think that God was, or again 
did think there was no such thing, no love, nor 
peace, nor gracious disposition could I feel within 
me. 

1 02. These things did sink me into very deep 
I sink into very despair ; for I concluded that such 
deep despair things could not possibly be found 

amongst them that loved God. I often, when these 
temptations had been with force upon me, did com- 
pare myself to the case of such a child, whom some 
gipsy hath by force took up in her arms, and is 
carrying from friend and country. Kick sometimes 
I did, and also shriek and cry ; but yet I was bound 
in the wings of the temptation, and the wind would 
carry me away. I thought also of Saul, and of the 
evil spirit that did possess him : and did greatly fear 
that my condition was the same with that of his. 
I Sam. X. 

62 



PROVOKED BY THE TEMPTER 

103. In these days, when I have heard others 
talk of what was the sin against the 

Holy Ghost, then would the tempter S^ff^hl'sin 
SO provoke me to desire to sin that against the Holy 
sin, that I was as if I could not, must 
not, neither should be quiet until I had committed it ; 
now no sin would serve but that. If it were to be 
committed by speaking of such a word, then I have 
been as if my mouth would have spoken that word, 
whether I would or no ; and in so strong a measure 
was this temptation upon me, that often I have been 
ready to clap my hand under my chin, to hold my 
mouth from opening; and to that end also, I have 
had thoughts at other times, to leap with my head 
downward, into some muckhill-hole or other, to keep 
my mouth from speaking. 

104. Now again I beheld the condition of the dog 
and toad, and counted the estate of 

every thing that God had made, far LndkiTof"^' 

better than this dreadful state of f^imais as better 

than mine 
mine, and such as my companions were. 

Yea, gladly would I have been in the condition of a 

dog or horse : for I knew they had no souls to perish 

under the everlasting weight of hell, or sin, as mine 

was like to do. Nay, and though I saw this, felt 

this, and was broken to pieces with it ; yet that 

which added to my sorrow was, I could not find, 

that with all my soul I did desire deliverance. 

That scripture did also tear and rend my soul in the 

63 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

midst of these distractions, The wicked are ftke 
the troubled sea^ when it cannot rest^ whose waters 
cast up mire and dirt. There is no peace, saith my 
God^ to the wicked. Isa. Ivii. 20, 21. 

105. And now my heart was, at times, exceeding 
,, ^ _, ^ hard; if I would have given a thousand 

My heart at ' t 1 1 

times was ex- pounds for a tear, I could not shed 

ceeding hard . , . 

one : no, nor sometimes scarce desire 
to shed one. I was much dejected, to think that 
this w^ould be my lot. I saw some could mourn and 
lament their sin ; and others again, could rejoice and 
bless God for Christ ; and others again, could 
quietly talk of, and with gladness remember the 
word of God ; while I only was in the storm or 
tempest. This much sunk me, I thought my con- 
dition was alone, I should therefore much bewail 
my hard hap, but get out of, or get rid of these 
things, I could not. 

106. While this temptation lasted, which was about 

_ a year, I could attend upon none of the 

Thesetempta- \, ^ r ^ 1 1 • v 1 

tions lasted ordinances of God, but with sore and 

about ayear ^^^^ affliction. Yea, then I was most 

distressed with blasphemies. If I had been hearing 
the word, then uncleanness, blasphemies and despair 
would hold me a captive there : if I have been reading, 
then sometimes I had sudden thoughts to question 
all I read : sometimes again, my mind would be 
so strangely snatched away, and possessed with other 
things, that 1 have neither known, nor regarded, nor 

64 



WANDERING THOUGHTS 

remembered so much as the sentence that but now 
I have read. 

107. In prayer also I have been greatly troubled at 
this time ; sometimes I have thought , 

T 1- r u I,- a. 1,- J 11- Iwas^eatly 

I have relt him behmd me pullmg my troubled in 
clothes : he would be also continually P^^^^ 
at me in time of prayer, to have done, break ofF, 
make haste, you have prayed enough, and stay no 
longer ; still drawing my mind away. Sometimes 
also he would cast in such wicked thoughts as these ; 
that I must pray to him, or for him : I have thought 
sometimes of that. Fall down ; or, if thou wilt fall 
down and worship me. Matt. iii. 9. 

108. Also, when because I have had wandering 
thoughts in the time of this duty, I have laboured to 
compose my mind, and fix it upon God ; then with 
great force hath the tempter laboured to distract me, 
and confound me, and to turn away my mind, by 
presenting to my heart and fancy, the form of a 
bush, a bull, a besom, or the like, as if I should 
pray to these : To these he would also (at sometimes 
especially) so hold my mind, that I was as if I could 
think of nothing else, or pray to nothing else but to 
these, or such as they. 

109. Yet at times I should have some strong and 
heart-affecting apprehensions of God, and the reality 
of the truth of His gospel. But, oh ! how would my 
heart, at such times, put forth itself with unexpress- 
ible groanings. My whole soul was then in every 

E 65 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

word ; I should cry with pangs after God, that He 

would be merciful unto me ; but 

forth ftsei/with then I should be daunted again with 

unexpressible g^^]^ conceits as these : I should think 
groanmg^s 

that God did mock at these my prayers, 
saying, and that in the audience of the holy angels. 
This poor simple wretch doth hanker after Me^ as if I 
had nothing to do with My mercy ^ but to bestow it on 
mch as he. Alas^ poor soul I how art thou deceived! It 
is not for such as thee to have favour with the Highest. 
I lo. Then hath the tempter come upon me, also, 
Thetemptersaid, ^^^^ ^uch discouragements as these: 
♦Ycu are very '][^ou are very hot for mercy, but I 
hot for mercy, , . /• 7 ,, , 

but I will cool Will cool you ; this jrame shall not last 

^° always : many have been as hot as 

you for a spurt^ but I have quenched their zeal 
(and with this, such and such, who were fallen oiT, 
would be set before mine eyes). Then I should be 
afraid that I should do so too : But, thought I, I am 
glad this comes into my mind : well, I will watch, 
and take what care I can. Though you do^ said 
Satan, / shall be too hard for you ; / will cool you 
insensibly^ by degrees ^ by little and little. What care 
/, saith he, though I be seven years in chilling your 
hearty if I can do it at last ? Continual rocking will 
lull a crying child asleep : I will ply it close ^ but I will 
have my end accomplished. Though you be burning 
hot at present^ I can pull you from this fire ; I shall 
have you cold before it be long. 

66 



SUPPORTS IN TEMPTATION 

111. These things brought me into great straits; 

for as I at present could not find my- j ^^^ ^.^ught 

self fit for present death, so I thought, into great straits 

to Hve long, would make me yet more unfit; for 

time would make me forget all, and wear even the 

remembrance of the evil of sin, the worth of heaven, 

and the need I had of the blood of Christ to wash 

me, both out of mind and thought: but I thank 

Christ Jesus, these things did not at present make 

me slack my crying, but rather did put me more 

upon it (like her who met with the ^^ ^^. 

J J ^^ .. ^^ . ,., These thrngrs did 

adulterer^ Deut. xxn. 26), m which not make me 

days that was a good word to me, ^^^ mycrymg 

after I had suffered these things a while: — I am 

persuaded that neither death ^ nor life^ etc., shall he 

able to separate us from the love of God which is in 

Christ fesus our Lord, Rom. viii. t^^^ 39. And now 

I hoped long life would not destroy me, nor make 

me miss of heaven. 

112. Yet I had some supports in this temptation, 
though they were then all questioned 

by me ; that in Jer. Hi, at the first gave me^s^upport 
was something to me ; and so was ^^J tempu- 
the consideration of verse 5 of that 
chapter ; that though we have spoken and done as 
evil things as we could, yet we should cry unto 
God, My Father^ Thou art the Guide of my youth^ 
and shall return unto Him. 

1 1 3. I had, also, once a sweet glance from that 

67 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

in 2 Cor. v. 21 : For He hath made Him to be sin 
for us^ Who knew no sin^ that we 
fort whilst in a might be made the righteousness of God 
hoiSe^°"^'^ ^^ ^^^' ^ remember that one day, 

as I was sitting in a neighbour's 
house, and there very sad at the consideration of 
my many blasphemies; and as I was saying in 
my mind, What ground have I to say that^ who 
have been so vile and abominable^ should ever inherit 
eternal life F That word came suddenly upon me. 
What shall we say to these things ? If God be for us^ 
who can be against us P Rom. viii. 31. That also 
was an help unto me, Because I live, ye shall live 
also, John xiv. 19. But these words were but 
hints, touches, and short visits, though very sweet 
when present; only they lasted not; but, like to 
Peter's sheet^ of a sudden were caught up from me^ 
to heaven again. Acts x. 16. 

114. But afterwards the Lord did more fully and 

^ ,, graciously discover Himself unto me. 
Afterwards the ,.,,,., . , , 

temptation was and mdeed, did quite, not only de- 
liver me from the guilt that, by these 
things was laid upon my conscience, but also from 
the very filth thereof; for the temptation was 
removed, and I was put into my right mind again, 
as other Christians were. 

1 15. I remember that one day, as I was travelling 
into the country, and musing on the wickedness and 
blasphemy of my heart, and considering the enmity 

68 



BY THE FIRE, MUSING 

that was in me to God, that scripture came into my 

mind, Havinz made peace thromh the . , , 

' e> r e> I have a good 

blood of Hts cross. Col. i. 20. By day in the 
which I was made to see, both again °"°"^ 
and again, that God and my soul were friends by 
His blood ; yea, I saw that the justice of God, and 
my sinful soul could embrace and kiss each other, 
through His blood. This was a good day to me ; I 
hope I shall never forget it. 

116. At another time, as I sat by the fire in 
my house, and was musing on my 
wretchedness, the Lord made that Jead^t^lwoon 
also a precious word unto me, Foras- with solid joy 

» , 7 7.77 7 and peace 

much then as the children are partakers 

ofjlesh and bloody He also Himself likewise took part of 
the same^ that through death He might destroy him that 
had the power of death ^ that is the devil; and de- 
liver those who through fear of death^ were all their 
lifetime subject to bondage, Heb. ii. 14, 15. I 
thought that the glory of these words was then so 
weighty on me, that I was both once and twice 
ready to swoon as I sate; yet not with grief and 
trouble, but with solid joy and peace. 

117. At this time also I sate under the ministry 
of holy Mr Gifford, whose doctrine, ministrv 
bv God's grace, was much for my of holy Mr 

i^-r S^i.- J • u Giffordwas 

stability. This man made it much much for my 

his business to deliver the people of stability 

God from all those false and unsound tests, that 

69 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

by nature we are prone to. He would bid us take 
special heed, that we took not up any truth upon 
trust; as from this, or that, or any other man or 
men; but to cry mightily to God, that He would 
convince us of the reality thereof, and set us down 
therein by His own Spirit in the holy word ; For^ 
said he, if you do otherwise^ when temptations come^ if 
strongly^ you not having received them with evidence 
from heaven^ will find you want that help and strength 
now to resist^ that once you thought you had. 

1 1 8. This was as seasonable to my soul, as the 
A seasonable former and latter rains in their 
word to my soul season (for I had found, and that 
by sad experience, the truth of these his words: 
for I had felt no man can say^ especially when 
tempted by the devil, that Jesus Christ is Lord.^ but 
by the Holy Ghost'). Wherefore I found my soul, 
through grace, very apt to drink in this doctrine, 
and to incline to pray to God, that in nothing that 
pertained to God's glory, and my own eternal happi- 
ness. He would suiFer me to be without the con- 
firmation thereof from heaven ; for now I saw 
clearly, there was an exceeding difference betwixt 
the notion of the flesh and blood, and the revelations 
of God in heaven : also a great difference betwixt 
that faith that is feigned, and according to man's 
wisdom, and that which comes by a man's being 
born thereto of God. Matt. xvi. 15; i John 
V. I. 

70 



OUT OF THE GRAVELS MOUTH 

119. But, oh! now, how was my soul led from 
truth to truth by God ! Even from „ , , ^ 

^ My soul led 

the birth and cradle of the Son of from truth to 
God, to His accession, and second 
coming from heaven to judge the world ! 

120. Truly, I then found, upon this account, the 
great God was very good unto me ; 

for, to my remembrance, there was ie7Soth?^ 
not any thing that I then cried unto ^orrjesus^* 
God to make known, and reveal 
unto me, but He was pleased to do it for me; I 
mean, not one part of the gospel of the Lord Jesus, 
but I was orderly led into it : methought I saw 
with great evidence, from the relation of the four 
evangelists, the wonderful work of God, in giving 
Jesus Christ to save us, from His conception and 
birth, even to His second coming to judgment : me- 
thought I was as if I had seen Him born, as if I 
had seen Him grow up ; as if I had seen Him walk 
through this world, from the cradle to the cross; 
to which also, when He came, I saw how gently He 
gave Himself to be hanged, and nailed on it for my 
sins and wicked doings. Also as I was musing on 
this His progress, that dropped on my spirit, He was 
ordained for the slaughter, i Peter i. 12, 20. 

121. When I have considered also the truth 
of His resurrection, and have remembered that 
word. Touch Me not^ Mary^ etc., I have seen 
as if He had leaped out of the grave's mouth, 

71 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

for joy that He was risen again, and had got the 
conquest over our dreadful foes. 

The scriptures t i t i i • i 

confirm me in John XX. 1 7. I have also m the 
relurreSion^^* Spirit, seen Him a man, on the right 

hand of God the Father for me ; and 
have seen the manner of His coming from heaven, 
to judge the world with glory, and have been con- 
firmed in these things by these scriptures following. 
Acts i. 9, 10, and vii. ^6, and x. 42; Heb. vii. 24 
and ix. 28; Rev. i. 18; i Thess. iv. 17, 18. 

122. Once I was troubled to know whether the 

Lord Jesus was man as well as God, 

The divinity and 1 /-> 1 n 11 

manhood of the and God as well as man : and truly, 

would, unless I had it with evidence 
from heaven, all was nothing to me ; I counted 
myself not set down in any truth of God. Well, 
I was much troubled about this point, and could not 
tell how to be resolved ; at last, that in Rev. v. 6 
came into my mind : j4nd I beheld, and, lo, in the 
midst of the throne, and of the four beasts, and in the 
midst of the elders, stood a Lamb, as it had been slain. 
In the midst of the throne, thought I, there is the 
Godhead ; in the midst of the elders, there is His 
manhood ; but, oh I methought this did glister ! It 
was a goodly touch, and gave me sweet satisfaction. 
That other scripture also did help me much in this^ 
For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given ; 
and the government shall be upon His shoulder : and 

72 



THE QUAKER CONTROVERSY 

His name shall be called Wonderful^ Counsellor^ the 
Mighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of 
Peace, etc. Isa. ix. 6. 

123. Also besides these teachings of God in His 
word, the Lord made use of two j^m confirmed 
ihine:s to confirm me in this truth; in the truth by 

° r 1 *^^ errors of the 

the one was the errors or the Quakers and the 
Quakers, and the other was the ^ ° ^"* 
guilt of sin ; for as the Quakers did oppose this 
truth, so God did the more confirm me in it, by 
leading me into the scripture that did wonderfully 
maintain it. 

124. The errors that this people then maintained, 
were : — 

' I. That the holy scriptures were not the word 
of God. 

' 2. That every man in the world had the spirit 
of Christ, grace, faith, etc. 

*3. That Christ Jesus, as crucified, and dying 
sixteen hundred years ago, did not satisfy divine 
justice for the sins of the people. 

'4. That Christ's flesh and blood were within 
the saints. 

' 5. That the bodies of the good and bad that 
are buried in the church-yard, shall not arise again. 

* 6. That the resurrection is past with good men 
already. 

* 7. That that man Jesus, that was crucified 
between two thieves, on mount Calvary, in the 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

land of Canaan^ by Jerusalem^ was not ascended 
above the starry heavens. 

' 8. That He should not, even the same Jesus 
that died by the hands of the Jews, come again at 
the last day; and as man, judge all nations/ etc. 

125. Many more vile and abominable things 
were in those days fomented by them, by which 
I was driven to a more narrow search of the scriptures, 
and was through their light and testimony, not 
only enlightened, but greatly confirmed and comforted 
in the truth : And, as I said, the guilt of sin did 
help me much ; for still as that would come upon 
me, the blood of Christ did take it off again, and 
again, and again; and that too sweetly, according 
to the scripture. friends ! cry to God to reveal 
Jesus Christ unto you\ there is none teacheth like 
Him, 

126. It would be too long here to stay, to tell 

you in particular, how God did set me 
Christ opened down in all the things of Christ, and 
*^°"^* how He did, that He might so do, 

lead me into His words ; yea, and also how He did 
open them unto me, and make them shine before 
me, and cause them to dwell with me, talk with 
me, and comfort me over and over, both of His 
own being, and the being of His Son, and Spirit, 
and word, and gospel. 

127. Only this, as I said before, I will say unto 
you again, that in general. He was pleased to take 

74 



LONGING FOR THE LAST DAY 

this course with me ; first, to suffer me to be 

afflicted with temptations concerning 

them, and then reveal them unto ZyVS^^"^^^ 

me ; as sometimes I should he under afflicted with 

' . . temptations 

great guilt for sin, even crushed to 

the ground therewith ; and then the Lord would show 
me the death of Christ ; yea, so sprinkle my con- 
science with His blood, that I should find, and that 
before I was aware, that in that conscience, where 
but just now did reign and rage the law, even there 
would rest and abide the peace and love of God, 
through Christ. 

128. Now I had an evidence, as I thought, of my 
salvation, from heaven, with many ,^ ^ 

11 11 1 • • Ihadanevi- 

golden seals thereon, all nangmg m denceofmy 

my sight. Now could I remember 
this manifestation, and the other discovery of grace, 
with comfort; and should often long and desire 
that the last day were come, that I might be for 
ever inflamed with the sight, and joy, and com- 
munion of Him, Whose head was crowned with 
thorns, Whose face was spit upon, and body broken, 
and soul made an offering for my sins. For whereas 
before I lay continually trembling at the mouth of 
hell, now methought I was got so far therefrom, 
that I could not, when I looked back, scarce discern 
it ! And oh ! thought I, that I were fourscore years 
old now, that I might die quickly, that my soul 
might be gone to rest. 

75 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

129. But before I had got thus far out of these 

my temptations, I did greatly long 
I lonff to see ^ • ^ j 1 > 

some ancient to see some ancient godly man s 

expenSi^'* experience, who had writ some 

hundreds of years before I was born ; 

for those who had writ in our days, I thought (but 

I desire them now to pardon me) that they had writ 

only that which others felt ; or else had, through 

the strength of their wits and parts, studied to 

answer such objections as they perceived others 

were perplexed with, without going down themselves 

into the deep. Well, after many such longings in 

my mind, the God, in Whose hands are all our days 

and ways, did cast into my hand (one day) a book 

of Martin Luther s\ it was his Comment on the 

Galatians\ it also was so old, that it was ready 

to fall piece from piece if I did but turn it over. 

Now I was pleased much that such an old book 

Goddidcastinto ^^^ ^^^^^" ^^^^ "^7 ^^^^' ^^^ ^^^^^ 
my hand when I had but a little way perused, 

Luther's ^ . , ... . /. ^ .' 

Comment on 1 fouud my Condition in nis experi- 

theGalatiana ^^^^^ ^^ j^^^^j^ ^^^ profoundly 

handled, as if his book had been written out of my 
heart. This made me marvel : for thus thought I, 
This man could not know any thing of the state of 
Christians now^ but ??iust needs write and speak the 
experience of former days, 

130. Besides, he doth most gravely also in that 
book, debate of the rise of these temptations, 

76 



LUTHER ON GALATIANS 

namely, blasphemy, desperation, and the like ; 
showing that the law of Moses ^ as f th' b k 

well as the devil, death, and hell, before all the 

, , 111* books (except 

hath a very great hand therein : the Bible) that 
the which, at first, was very strange ®^^^ ^ ^^^^ ®^®° 
to me ; but considering and watching, I found it so 
indeed. But of particulars here, I intend nothing; 
only this methinks I must let fall before all men — 
I do prefer this book of Martin Lidher upon the 
Galatians (excepting the Holy Bible) before all 
the books that ever I had seen, as most fit for a 
wounded conscience. 

131. And now I found, as I thought, that I loved 
Christ dearly: Oh! methought my j ^^j, ^^ j^^^ to 
soul cleaved unto Him, my afiections Christ as hot as 
cleaved unto Him; I felt love to 

Him as hot as fire ; and now, as Joh said, / thought I 
should die in my nest ; but I did quickly find, that 
my great love was but little ; and that I, who had, 
as I thought, such burning love to Jesus Christ, 
could let Him go again for a very trifle, — God can 
tell how to abase us, and can hide pride from man. 
Quickly after this my love was tried to purpose. 

132. For after the Lord had, in this manner, thus 
graciously delivered me from this great and sore 
temptation, and had set me down so sweetly in the 
faith of His holy gospel, and had given me such 
strong consolation and blessed evidence from heaven, 
touching my interest in His love through Christ; 

77 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

the tempter came upon me again, and that with a 
more grievous and dreadful temptation than before. 

133. And that was, To sell and part with this 

most blessed Christy to exchange Him 
7ame*upo^n me to fir the things of this life, fir any thing, 
sell Christ for 'j-j^g temptation lay upon me for the 

space of a year, and did follow me 
so continually, that I was not rid of it one day in 
a month : no, not sometimes one hour in many days 
together, unless when I was asleep. 

134. And though, in my judgment, I was per- 
suaded, that those who were once effectually in 
Christ (as I hoped, through His grace, I had seen 
myself) could never lose Him for ever; The land 
shall not be sold for ever^ for the land is mine, saith 
God. Lev. XXV. 23. Yet it was a continual vexation 
to me, to think that I should have so much as one 
such thought within me against a Christ, a Jesus, 
that had done for me as He had done ; and yet 
then I had almost none others, but such blasphemous 
ones. 

135. But it was neither my dislike of the thought, 
nor yet any desire and endeavour to resist, that in 
the least did shake or abate the continuation or 
force and strength thereof; for it did always, in 
almost whatever I thought, intermix itself therewith, 
in such sort, that I could neither eat my food, stoop 
for a pin, chop a stick, or cast mine eye to look on 
this or that, but still the temptation would come, 

78 



TORTURED, AS UPON A RACK 

Sell Christ for this^ or sell Christ for that ; sell Him^ 
sell Him, 

136. Sometimes it would run in my thoughts, 
not so little as a hundred times to- a hundred times 
eether, Sell Him, sell Him, sell Him : together my 

° . , . . r r 11 thoughts were 

agamst which, I may say, for whole ' Sell Him, sell 
hours together, I have been forced ^^ """ "^'^ 
to stand as continually leaning and forcing my spirit 
against it, lest haply, before I were aware, some 
wicked thought might arise in my heart, that might 
consent thereto ; and sometimes the tempter would 
make me believe I had consented to it ; but then 
1 should be, as tortured upon a rack for whole days 
together. 

137. This temptation did put me to such scares, 

lest I should at some times, I say, , 

' "^ ^ I was scared 

consent thereto, and be overcome lest i should 
therewith, that by the very force of 
my mind, in labouring to gainsay and resist this 
wickedness, my very body would be put into action 
or motion, by way of pushing or thrusting with 
my hands or elbows ; still answering, as fast as the 
destroyer said. Sell Him; I will not, I will not, I 
will not, I will not ; no, not for thousands, thousands, 
thousands of worlds : thus reckoning, lest I should, 
in the midst of these assaults, set too low a value on 
Him ; even until I scarce well knew where I was, or 
how to be composed again. 

138. At these seasons he would not let me eat 

79 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

my food at quiet; but, forsooth, when I was set 

I could not eat ^^ ^^^ ^^^^^ ^^ "^7 "^^^^ ^ "^"^t gO 

my food at quiet hence to pray ; I must leave my food 
now, just now, so counterfeit holy also would this 
devil be. When I was thus tempted, I would say 
in myself, Now I am at meat ; let me make an end. 
No, said he, you must do it now^ or you will dis- 
please God, and despise Christ. Wherefore I was 
much afflicted with these things ; and because of 
the sinfulness of my nature (imagining that these 
were impulses from God), I should deny to do it, 
as if I denied God, and then should I be as 
guilty, because I did not obey a temptation of 
the devil, as if I had broken the law of God 
indeed. 

139. But to be brief: one morning as I did lie in 
After much ^1 ^^^J ^ was, as at other times, 

striving the most fiercely assaulted with this 

thought came, • m / » 

* Let Him go, if temptation, 10 sell and part with 

Christ', the wicked suggestion still 

running in my mind, Sell Him^ sell Him^ sell Him^ sell 

Him^ sell Him^ as fast as a man could speak : against 

which also, in my mind, as at other times, I 

answered, No^ no, not for thousands^ thousands, 

thousands, at least twenty times together : but at 

last, after much striving, even until I was almost 

out of breath, I felt this thought pass through my 

heart. Let Him go, if He will ; and I thought also, 

that I felt my heart freely consent thereto. Oh! 

80 




BuNYAN IN Despair. 

I iveJtt mopiiis into the field : but God knoivs^ with as heavy a heart as 
mortal man, I think, could bear ; where, for the space of two hours, I 7vas 
like a man bereft of life. 



WORDS AS FETTERS OF BRASS 

the diligence of Satan ! Oh ! the desperateness of 
man's heart ! 

140. Now was the battle won, and down fell I, 
as a bird that is shot from the top j^^^^ ^^jj j ^^^^ 
of a tree, into great guilt, and fearful despair 
fearful despair. Thus getting out of my bed, I 
went moping into the field; but God knows, with 
as heavy a heart as mortal man, I think, could bear ; 
where for the space of two hours, I was like a man 
bereft of life ; and, as now, past all recovery, and 
bound over to eternal punishment. 

141. And withal, that scripture did seize upon 
my soul : Or profane person^ as Esau^ who for 
one morsel of meat^ sold his birthright : for ye know^ 
how that afterward^ when he would have inherited 
the blessings he was rejected ; for he found no place 
of repentance^ though he sought it carefully with tears, 
Heb. xii. 16, 17. 

142. Now was I as one bound, I felt myself shut 
up unto the judgment to come; 

nothing now, for two years together, noThir^^wouW 

would abide with me, but damnation, ^^^f with me 
^ , ' but damnation 

and an expectation of damnation : I 
say, nothing now would abide with me but this, 
save some few moments for relief, as in the sequel 
you will see. 

143. These words were to my soul, like fetters 
of brass to my legs, in the continual sound of which 
I went for several months together. But about ten 

F 81 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

or eleven o'clock on that day, as I was walking 

This sentence ^"^^^ ^^ ^^^g^ (^^^^ ^^ ^^^^^^ ^"^ 

rushed upon me, guilt, God knows\ and bemoaninc: 

♦The blood of ^ \r r i • i j i^ i ? 

Christ remits all myself for this hard hap, that such 
^"^* a thought should arise within me, 

suddenly this sentence rushed in upon me, T/je blood 
of Christ remits all guilt. At this I made a stand 
in my spirit : with that this word took hold upon 
me, The blood of Jesus Christ His Soriy cleanseth 
us from all sin, i John i. 7. 

144. Now I began to conceive peace in my soul, 

and methought I saw, as if the 

The tempter did ,. . ? , , ^ 

leer and steel tempter did leer and steal away from 
away from me ^^^ ^^ ^^j^^^ ashamed of what he 

had done. At the same time also I had my sin, 
and the blood of Christ, thus represented to me. 
That my sin, when compared to the blood of Christ, 
was no more to it, than this little clod or stone 
before me, is to this vast and wide field that here 
I see. This gave me good encouragement for the 
space of two or three hours; in which time also, 
methought, I saw, by faith, the Son of God, as 
suffering for my sins : but because it tarried not, 
I therefore sunk in my spirit, under exceeding guilt 
again. 

145. But chiefly by the aforementioned scripture 
concerning Esaiis selling of his birthright ; for that 
scripture would lie all day long, all the week long, 
yea, all the year long in my mind, and hold me down, so 

82 



A SAD AND CAREFUL HEART 

that I could by no means lift up myself ; for when 
I would strive to turn to this scripture or that, for 
relief, still that sentence would be sounding in me ; 
For ye know^ how that afterwards^ when he would 
have inherited the blessings he found no place of 
repentance^ though he sought it carefully with tears. 

146. Sometimes, indeed, I should have a touch 

from that in Luke xxii. ?i, / have ^^ 

. Now V73is I tore 

prayed for thee that thy faith fail and rent for 

not \ but it would not abide upon °^^^ *^* 

me ; neither could I, indeed, when I considered my 

state, find ground to conceive in the least, that there 

should be the root of that grace in me, having 

sinned as I had done. Now was I tore and rent 

in an heavy case for many days together. 

147. Then began I with sad and careful heart to 
consider of the nature and largeness of . search t es 
my sin, and to search into the word of a word of pro- 
Gk)d, if I could in any place espy a word 

of promise, or any encouraging sentence, by which 
I might take relief. Wherefore I began to consider 
that of Mark iii. 28 : All sins shall he forgiven unto 
the sons of men.^ and blasphemies wherewith soever 
they shall blaspheme. Which place, methought at a 
blush, did contain a large and glorious promise for 
the pardon of high offences ; but considering the 
place more fully, I thought it was rather to be under- 
stood, as relating more chiefly to those who had, while 
in a natural estate, committed such things as there 

83 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

are mentioned ; but not to me, who had not only re- 
ceived light and mercy, but that had both after, and 
also contrary to that, so slighted Christ as I had done. 

148. I feared, therefore, that this wicked sin of 

-- - . mine, mie^ht be that sin unpardon- 
I feared my sin . 

mig-ht be the sin able, of which He there thus speaketh. 
But be that shall blaspheme against 
the Holy Ghost ^hath never forgiveness^ but is in danger of 
eternal damnation. Mark iii. 29. And I did the rather 
give credit to this, because of that sentence in the 
Hebrews: For you know how that afterwards.^ when he 
would have inherited the blessing.^ he was rejected ; for 
he found no place of repentance^ though he sought it care- 
fully with tears. And this stuck always with me. 

149. And now was I both a burthen and a terror 
I was a burthen ^o myself; nor did I ever so know, 
and terror to as now, what it was to be weary 

myself \ ■> 

or my life, and yet arraid to die. 

Oh ! how gladly now would I have been anybody 
but myself! anything but a man, and in any con- 
dition but my own ! For there was nothing did pass 
more frequently over my mind, than that it was im- 
possible for me to be forgiven my transgression, and 
to be saved from the wrath to come. 

150. And now I began to labour to call again 

«G dh thi t ^^^^ ^^^ ^^^ spent; wishing a thou- 
me g-0, and I sand times twice told, that the day 

am fallen ' 1 t 1 1 1 1 

was yet to come, when I should be 
tempted to such a sin ; concluding with great indig- 

84 



THE GREAT TRANSGRESSION 

nation, both against my heart, and all assaults, how 
I would rather have been torn in pieces, than be 
found a consenter thereto. But alas ! these thoughts, 
and wishings, and resolvings were now too late to 
help me ; this thought had passed my heart, God hath 
let me go, and I am fallen. Oh ! thought I, that it 
were with me as in months past^ as in the days when 
God preserved me ! Job xxix. 2. 

151. Then again, being loth and unwilling to 
perish, I began to compare my sin i compare my 
with others, to see if I could find sin with David's 
that any of those that were saved, had done as I 
had done. So I considered David's adultery, and 
murder, and found them most heinous crimes ; and 
those too committed after light and grace received : 
but yet by considering that his transgressions were 
only such as were against the law of Moses^ from 
which the Lord Christ could, with the consent of 
His word, deliver him : but mine was against the 
gospel; yea, against the Mediator thereof; I had 
sold my Saviour. 

152. Now again should I be as if racked upon 
the wheel, when I considered, that, 

besides the guilt that possessed me, racked upon the 
I should be so void of grace, so be- 
witched. What, thought I, must it be no sin but this? 
Must it needs be the great transgression ? Ps. xix. 1 3. 
Must that wicked one touch my soul? 1 John v. 18, 
Oh! what sting did I find in all these sentences? 

85 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

153. What, thought I, is there but one sin that 

is unpardonable ? but one sin that 
Butonesmun- 111 1 • i 1 1 

pardonable, and layeth the soul Without the reach 

mu^U be guilty ^f Q^j,^ j^^^^y. ^^^ j^^g^ J ^g 

guiky of thatt must it needs be 
that ? Is there but one sin among so many millions 
of sins, for which there is no forgiveness ; and 
must I commit this ? Oh ! unhappy sin ! Oh ! 
unhappy man \ These things would so break and 
confound my spirit, that I could not tell what to do; 
I thought at times, they would have broke my wits; 
and still, to aggravate my misery, that would run in 
my mind. Ton know^ how^ that afterwards^ when he 
would have inherited the blessings he was rejected. 
Oh ! no one knows the terrors of those days hut myself 

154. After this I began to consider of Peter's 
Peter's sin and ^^"? which he committed in denying 
°"°® his Master: and indeed, this came 
nighest to mine of any that I could find, for he had 
denied his Saviour, as I, after light and mercy re- 
ceived ; yea, and that too, after warning given him. 
I also considered, that he did it both once and 
twice ; and that, after time to consider betwixt. But 
though I put all these circumstances together, that, 
if possible I might find help, yet I considered again, 
that his was but a denial of his Master^ but mine was, 
a selling of my Saviour, Wherefore I thought with 
myself, that I came nearer to Judas^ than either to 
David or Peter, 

Z6 



A SON OF PERDITION 

155. Here again my torment would flame out and 
afflict me ; yea, it would grind me, as ,^y torment 

it were to powder, to consider the flames out and 
preservation of God towards others, 
while I fell into the snare ; for in my thus consider- 
ing of other men's sins, and comparing them with 
mine own, I could evidently see, God preserved 
them, notwithstanding their wickedness, and would 
not let them, as He had let me, become a son of 
perdition. 

156. But oh! how did my soul at this time prize 
the preservation that God did set 

about His people ! Ah, how safely thf p^r^eseKation 
did I see them walk, whom God had g°f „^'^^^f °'^* 

' ... "^^ people 

hedged in ! They were within His 
care, protection, and special providence: though 
they were full as bad as I by nature ; yet because 
He loved them. He would not suffer them to fall 
without the range of mercy : but as for me, I was 
gone, I had done it: He would not preserve me, 
nor keep me; but suffered me, because I was a 
reprobate, to fall as I had done. Now did those 
blessed places that speak of God's keeping His 
people, shine like the sun before me, though 
not to comfort me, ytt to show me the blessed 
state and heritage of those whom the Lord had 
blessed. 

1 5 7. Now I saw, that as God had His hand in all 
the providences and dispensations that overtook His 

87 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

elect ; so He had His hand in all the temptations 
_ , , , . that they had to sin aojainst Him ; 

God's hand in ■' . . • i i 

the temptations not to animate them to wickedness, 
of His elect ^^^ ^^ choose their temptations and 

troubles for them; and also to leave them for a 
time, to such sins only that might not destroy, but 
humble them; as might not put them beyond, but 
lay them in the way of the renewing His mercy. 
But oh! what love, what care, what kindness and 
mercy did I now see, mixing itself with the most 
severe and dreadful of all God's ways to His people ! 
He would let David^ Hezekiah^ Solomon^ Peter^ and 
others, fall ; but He would not let them fall into sin 
unpardonable, nor into hell for sin. Oh ! thought 
I, these be the men that God hath loved ; these be 
the men that God, though He chastiseth them, keeps 
them in safety by Him ; and them whom He makes 
to abide under the shadow of the Almighty. But 
all these thoughts added sorrow, grief, and horror 
to me, as whatever I now thought on, it was killing 
to me. If I thought how God kept 
things^rmight ^is own, that was killing to me; if 
overthrow °^ I thought of how I was fallen my- 
self, that was killing to me. As all 
things wrought together for the best, and to do 
good to them that were the called, according 
to His purpose, so I thought that all things 
wrought for my damage, and for my eternal over- 
throw. 

88 



FROM TROUBLE TO SORROW 

158. Then again I began to compare my sin with 

the sin of Judas, that, if possible, I , 

• 1 r J T • ^'(T 1 r 1 Icomparemy 

might nnd ir mine aiiiered rrom that, sin v/ith the sin 

which in truth is unpardonable : and 

oh ! thought I, if it should differ from it, though 

but the breadth of an hair, what a happy condition 

is my soul in! And by considering, I found that 

Judas did this intentionally, but mine was against 

my prayer and strivings : besides, his was committed 

with much deliberation, but mine in a fearful hurry, 

on a sudden : all this while I was tossed to and fro 

like the locusts, and driven from trouble to sorrow; 

hearing always the sound of Esau's fall in mine 

ears, and the dreadful consequences thereof. 

159. Yet this consideration about Judas^s sin 
was, for awhile, some little relief to me ; for I saw 
I had not, as to the circumstances, transgressed so 
fully as he. But this was quickly gone again, for I 
thought with myself, there might be more ways 
than one to commit this unpardonable sin ; also I 
thought there might be degrees of that, as well as 
of other transgressions ; wherefore, for aught I yet 
could perceive, this iniquity of mine might be such, 
as might never be passed by. 

160. I was often now ashamed that I should be 
hke such an ugly man as Judas: I i^^g ashamed 
thought also how loathsome I should *o ^^ ^}^^ such 

, ° „ , . 1 1 r an ugly man as 

be unto all the saints at the day of Judas 
judgment : insomuch that now 1 could scarce see a 

89 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

good man, that I believed had a good conscience, 
but I should feel my heart tremble at him, while 
I was in his presence. Oh ! now I saw a glory in 
walking with God, and what a mercy it was to 
have a good conscience before Him. 

1 6 1. I was much about that time tempted to 

content myself by receiving some false 
Jp^inron^about Opinion ;^ as, that there should be no 
thedayofjudg- such thing as a day of judgment; 

that we should not rise again ; and 
that sin was no such grievous thing: the tempter 
suggesting thus : For if these things should indeed 
be true^ yet to believe otherwise would yield you ease 
for the present. If you must perish^ never torment 
yourself so much beforehand : drive the thoughts of 
damning out of your mind, by possessing your mind 
with some such conclusions that Atheists and Ranters 
use to help themselves withal, 

162. But oh! when such thoughts have led 

t-i. .1- throuejh my heart, how, as it were, 

I thought the o ; , , , , , • , 

Judge stood at withm a Step, hath death and judg- 
ment been in my view! methought 
the Judge stood at the door ; I was as if it was come 
already; so that such things could have no enter- 
tainment. But methinks, I see by this, that Satan 
will use any means to keep the soul from Christ; 
he loveth not an awakened frame of spirit ; security, 
blindness, darkness, and error, is the very kingdom 
and habitation of the wicked one. 

90 



DAGGERS IN MY SOUL 

163. I found it a hard work now to pray to God, 
because despair was swallowing me 
up; I thought I was as with a f^'STf^lfit 
tempest, driven away from God ; for ^^^^ ^^^^ to 
always when I cried to God for 
mercy, this would come in, 'Tis too late^ I am lost, 
God hath let me fall \ not to my correction^ hut con- 
demnation : my sin is unpardonable ; and I know^ 
concerning Esau, how that after he had sold his birth- 
right^ he would have received the blessing^ but was 
rejected. About this time I did light on that 
dreadful story of that miserable mortal Francis 
Spira ; a book that was to my troubled spirit, as 
salt, when rubbed into a fresh wound : j ^ead the story 
every sentence in that book, every ^^ Francis Spira 
groan of that man, with all the rest of his actions in 
his dolours, as his tears, his prayers, his gnashing of 
teeth, his wringing of hands, his twining and twist- 
ing, and languishing, and pining away under that 
mighty hand of God that was upon him, were as 
knives and daggers in my soul ; ^especially that 
sentence of his was frightful to me, Man knows 
the beginning of sin^ but who bounds the issues thereof? 
Then would the former sentence, as the conclusion 
of all, fall like an hot thunderbolt again upon my 
conscience ; For you know how that afterwards^ 
when he would have inherited the blessings he was 
rejected ; for he found no place of repentance^ though 
he sought it carefully with tears, 

91 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

164. Then should I be struck into a very great 
, , ,, , tremblinc^, insomuch that at sometimes 

I felt such a o' 

ciog-ging at my I could, for wholc davs together, feel 

stomach by , , ,, . , 

reason of my T^J very body, as well as my mmd, to 

*^^^°'" shake and totter under the sense of 

this dreadful judgment of God, that should fall on 
those that have sinned that most fearful and un- 
pardonable sin. I felt also such a clogging and heat 
at my stomach, by reason of this my terror, that I was, 
especially at some times, as if my breast-bone would 
split asunder; then I thought of that concerning 
Judas, who by falling headlong^ he burst asunder in 
the midst^ and all his bowels gushed out. Acts i. 1 8. 

165. I feared also that this was the mark that 

the Lord did set on Cain.^ even con- 
twine, and shrink tinual fear and trembling, under the 
undermyburthen ^^^^^ j^^^ ^^ ^^jj^ ^j^^^ j^^ j^^^ 

charged on him for the blood of his brother Abel. 
Thus did I wind, and twine, and shrink under the 
burthen that was upon me ; which burthen also did 
so oppress me, that I could neither stand, nor go, 
nor lie, either at rest or quiet. 

166. Yet that saying would sometimes come into 
my mind, He hath received gifts for the rebellious. 
Psalm Ixviii. 18. The rebellious^ thought I! why 
surely they are such as once were under subjection 
to their Prince; even those who after they have 
sworn subjection to His government, have taken up 
arms against Him ; and this, thought I, is my very 

92 



GIFTS FOR THE REBELLIOUS 

condition : I once loved I lim, feared Him, served Him ; 
but now I am a rebel ; 1 have sold Him, I have said, 
Let Him go, if He will-, but yet He has gifts for 
rebels ; and then why not for me ? 

167. This sometimes I thought on, and should 
labour to take hold thereof, that some, 

though small refreshment, might have grcing to execu- 
been conceived by me ; but in this also 
I missed of my desire ; I was driven with force be- 
yond it ; I was like a man going to execution, even 
by that place where he would fain creep in and hide 
himself, but may not. 

168. -Again, after I had thus considered the sins 
of the saints in particular, and found „ . ^ 

' \ My sins beyond 

mine went beyond them, then I began the sins of the 
to think with myself, Set the case I ^^^" ^ 
should put all theirs together, and mine alone against 
them, might I not then find some encouragement? 
for if mine, though bigger than any one, yet should 
be but equal to all, then there is hopes ; for that 
blood that hath virtue enough in it to wash away 
all theirs, had virtue enough in it to do away 
mine, though this one be full as big, if not bigger 
than all theirs. Here again, I should consider the 
sin of David, of Solomon^ of M anas s eh, of Peter, and 
the rest of the great offenders ; and should also 
labour, what I might with fairness, to aggravate and 
heighten their sins by several circumstances. 

169. I should think with myself that David shed 

93 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

blood to cover his adultery, and that by the sword 
of the children of Amnion ; a work that could not be 
done, but by continuance, deliberate contrivance, 
vhich was a great aggravation to his sin. But 
then this would turn upon me : Ah ! but these 
were but sins against the law, from which there 
was a Jesus sent to save them ; but yours is a 
sin against the Saviour, and who shall save you 
from that? 

170. Then I thought on Solomon^ and how he 
For me, no more tinned in loving strange women, in 
sacrifice for sin falling away to their idols, in building 
them temples, in doing this after light, in his old age, 
after great mercy received : but the same conclusion 
that cut me off in the former consideration, cut me 
oiF as to this ; namely, that all those were but sins 
against the law, for which God had provided a 
remedy ; but 1 had sold my Saviour^ and there remained 
no more sacrifice for sin. 

171. I would then add to these men's sins, the 
Manasseh'ssin. s^^^ of Manasseh:, how that he built 
and mine altars for idols in the house of the 
Lord; he also observed times, used enchantments, had 
to do with wizards, was a wizard, had his familiar 
spirits, burned his children in the fire in sacrifice to 
devils, and made the streets of Jerusalem run down 
with the blood of innocents. These, thought I, are 
great sins, sins of a bloody colour, but yet it would 
turn again upon me, They are none of them of the 

94 



'MINE OUT-WENT EVERY ONE' 

nature of yours ; you have parted with Jesus ^ you 
have sold your Saviour, 

172. This one consideration would always kill my 

heart, my sin was point blank against 

: 11 1 My heart killed 

my oaviour ; and that too, at that 

height, that I had in my heart said of Him, Let Him 

go^ if He will. Oh ! methought this sin was bigger 

than the sins of a country, of a kingdom, or of the 

whole world, no one pardonable ; nor all of them 

together, was able to equal mine; mine out-went 

them every one. 

173. Now I should find my mind to flee from God, 
as from the face of a dreadful Judge, yet this was my 
torment, I could not escape His hand : (// is a 

fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living 
God, Hebrew x.) But, blessed be His grace, that 
scripture, in these flying fits, would call, as running 
after me, / have blotted out^ as a thick cloudy thy 
transgressions ; and as a cloudy thy sins : return unto 
Me ^ for I have redeemed thee, Isaiah xliv. 22. This, 
I say, would come in upon my mind, when I was 
fleeing from the face of God ; for I did flee from 
His face ; that is, my mind and spirit fled before 
Him ; by reason of His highness, I could not 
endure : then would the text cry. Return unto Me; 
it would cry aloud with a very great voice. Return 
unto Me^ for I have redeemed thee. Indeed, this 
would make me make a little stop, and, as it were, 
look over my shoulder behind me, to see if I could 

95 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

discern that the God of grace did follow me with a 
pardon in His hand ; but I could no sooner do that, 
but all would be clouded and darkened again by 
that sentence, For you know^ how that afterwards^ 
when he would have inherited the blessings he found 
no place of repentance^ though he sought it carefully 
with tears. Wherefore I could not refrain, but 
The text A^^? though at some times it cried, 

r2urn^"did Return^ return^ as if it did hollow 

hollow after me after me : but I feared to close in 
therewith, lest it should not come from God ; for 
that other, as I said, was still sounding in my con- 
science. For you know that afterwards^ when he 
would have inherited the blessings he was rejected^ etc. 
174. Once as I was walking to and fro in a good 
man's shop, bemoanino; of myself in my 

I was walking , 1 i r 1 rn- - ir 

to and fro in a sad and doleful state, amicting myself 
goo manss op ^.^j^ sclf-abhorrence for this wicked 
and ungodly thought ; lamenting also this hard hap 
of mine for that I should commit so great a sin, 
greatly fearing that I should not be pardoned ; 
praying also in my heart, that if this sin of mine did 
differ from that against the Holy Ghost, the Lord 
would show it me. And being now ready to sink 

with fear, suddenly there was, as if 
There rushed in, ,, ij* i -i 

at the window there had rushed m at the window, 

uponm^e"^'^''''^ the noise of wind upon me, but very 

pleasant, and as if I heard a voice 

speaking, DicTst thou ever refuse to be justified by 

96 



A GREAT CALM 

the blood cf Christ ? and \vlth:il, my whole life of 

profession past, was in a moment opened to me, 

wherein I was made to see, that designedly I had 

not : so my heart answered groaningly, 'No. Then 

fell, with power, that word of God _, , , 

o 1 r TT- The word of 

upon me, oee that ye refuse not tiim God falls upon 

that speaketh. Hebrew xii. 25. ^^^^ power 

This made a strange seizure upon my spirit ; it 

brought light with it, and commanded a silence in 

my heart, of all those tumultuous thoughts, that did 

before use, like masterless hell-hounds, to roar and 

bellow, and make an hideous noise within me. It 

showed me also that Jesus Christ had yet a word of 

grace and mercy for me, that He had ^., 

/ , . p , Silence com- 

not, as 1 had reared, quite rorsaken manded in my 
and cast off my soul ; yea, this was a 
kind of chide for my proneness to desperation ; a 
kind of threatening of me, if I did not, notv.ithstand- 
ing my sins, and the heinousness of them, venture 
my salvation upon the Son of God. But as to my 
determining about this strange dispensation, what it 
was, I know not ; or from whence it cam.e, I know 
not ; I have not yet in twenty years' time been able 
to make a judgment of it ; / thought then what here 
I should be loth to speak. But verily that sudden 
rushing wind was, as if an angel had come upon me ; 
but both it, and the salutation, I will leave until the 
day of judgment : only this I say, it commanded a 
great calm in my soul ; it persuaded me there might 
G 97 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

be hope : it showed me, as I thought, what the sin 

unpardonable was, and that my soul had yet the 

blessed privilege to flee to Jesus Christ for mercy. 

But I say, concerning this dispensation ; I know not 

, ^ yet what to say unto it ; which was 
I was persuaded -^ . ■' ^ 

there might be also, in truth, the cause, that at first I 
^ did not speak of it in the book ; I do 

now also leave it to be thought on by men of sound 
judgment. I lay not the stress of my salvation 
thereupon, but upon the Lord Jesus, in the promise ; 
yet seeing 1 am here unfolding of my secret things, 
I thought it might not be altogether inexpedient to 
let this also show itself, though I cannot now relate 
I began to mis- ^^^ matter as there I did experience 
trust again jt. This lasted in the savour of it 

for about three or four days, and then I began to 
mistrust, and to despair again. 

1 y^. Wherefore still my life hung in doubt before 
My life hung in "^^) ^^^ knowing which way I should 
^°"^^ tip ; only this I found my soul desire, 

even to cast itself at the foot of grace, by prayer 
and supplication. But oh ! 'twas hard for me now, 
to have the face to pray to this Christ for mercy, 
against Whom I had thus most vilely sinned : 'twas 
hard work, I say, to offer to look Him in the face, 
against Whom I had so vilely sinned ; and indeed, I 
have found it as difficult to come to God by prayer, 
after backsliding from Him, as to do any other 
thing. Oh! the shame that did now attend me! 

98 



THERE WAS BUT ONE WAY 

especially when I thought, I am now a-going to 
pray to Him for mercy, that I had so Hghtly 
esteemed but a v/hile before ! I was ashamed ; yea, 
even confounded, because this villany had been 
committed by me : but I saw that there was but 
one way with me ; I must go to Him, and humble 
myself unto Him, and beg that He, of His wonderful 
mercy, would show pity to me, and have mercy 
upon my wretched sinful soul. 

176. Which, when the tempter perceived, he 
strongly suggested to me, That I ought not to pray 
to God^ for prayer was not for any in my case ; neither 
could it do me good^ because I had rejected the 
Mediator^ by Who7n all prayers came with acceptance 
to God the Father ; and without Whom, no prayer 
could come into His presence: wherefore now to 
pray, is but to add sin to sin; yea, now to pray, 
seeing God has cast you off, is the next way to 
anger and offend Him more than you ever did 
before. 

177. For God (saith he) hath been weary of you 
for these several years already, because 

you are none of His ; your bawlings ^^Got^^^SF 

in His ears, hath been no pleasant is no pleasant 
' ^ voice to Him 

voice to Him; and therefore He let 

you sin this sin, that you might be quite cut off ; and 

will you pray still? This the devil urged, and set 

forth that in Numbers, when Moses said to the 

children of Israel, That because they would not go 

99 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

up to possess the land^ when God would have ihem^ 
therefore for ever after He did bar them out from 
thence^ though they prayed they might with tears. 
Numbers xiv. ^^^^ 2>7-) ^^^• 

178. As it is said in another place, Exodus xxi. 

14, The man that sins presumptu- 

Some texts did , - , 

pinch me very ously shall be taken from God s altar ^ 
that he may die ; even as Joab was 
by King Solomon^ when he thought to find sheker 
there, i Kings ii. 27, 28, etc. These places did 
pinch me very sore ; yet my case being desperate, 
I thought with myself, I can but die ; and if it must 
be so, it shall once be said, That such an one died 
at the foot of Christ in prayer. This I did, but 
with great difficulty, God doth know ; and that 
because, together with this, still that saying about 
Esau would be set at my heart, even like a flaming 
sword, to keep the way of the tree of life, lest I 
should take thereof and live. Oh ! who knows 
how hard a thing I found it, to come to God in 
prayer ! 

179. I did also desire the prayers of the people 

of God for me, but I feared that God 
Jrlyirlo^f God's ^^uld give them no heart to do it; 

people but durst yea, I trembled in my soul to think, 

not ask them -^ ' -' ' 

that some or other of them would 

shortly tell me, that God hath said those words 
to them, that He once did say to the prophet con- 
cerning the children of Israel, Pray not for this 

100 




BUNYAN SEEKS CoMFORT. 
/ took an opportunity to break my mind to an ancient Christian. 



WHEREFORE I WENT TO GOD 

people^ for I have rejected them, Jeremiah xi. 14. 
So, Fray not for h'un^ for 1 have rejected him^ yea, 
I thought that He had whispered this to some of 
them already, only they durst not tell me so; 
neither durst I ask them of it, for fear if it should 
be so, it would make me quite beside myself: 
Man knows the beginning of sin (said Spira), but 
who bounds the issues thereof F 

180. About this time I took an opportunity to 
break my mind to an ancient Christian, , ^ „ 

^ , .1 tell my case to 

and told him all my case : I told him an ancient 

also, that I was afraid that I had 

sinned the sin against the Holy Ghost ; and he 

told me, He thought so too. Here therefore I had 

but cold comfort ; but talking a little more with 

him, I found him, though a good man, a stranger 

to much combat with the devil. Wherefore I went 

to God again, as well as I could, for mercy still. 

181. Now also did the tempter begin to mock 

me in my misery, saying, That seeing 

I had thus parted with the Lord f^^^'^tt^'^'' 
■I in my misery 

Jesus., and provoked Him to displeasure.^ 
Who would have stood between my soul and the fame 
of devouring fir e^ there was now but one way ; and 
that was^ to pray that God the Father would be a 
Mediator betwixt His Son and me ; that we might be 
reconciled again., arid that I might have that blessed 
benefit in Him., that His blessed saints enjoyed. 

182. Then did that scripture seize upon my soul, 

101 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

He is of one mind^ and who can turn Him! Oh ! I 
My soul is rent ^^w, it was as easy to persuade Him to 
asunder make a new world, a new covenant, 

or a new Bible, besides that we have already, as to 
pray for such a thing. This was to persuade Him, 
that what He had done already was mere folly, and 
persuade Him to alter, yea, to disannul the whole way 
of salvation. And then would that saying rend my 
soul asunder ; Neither is there salvation in any 
other ; for there is none other name under heaven given 
among men whereby we must he saved. Acts iv. 12. 
183. Now the most free, and full and gracious 
words of the gospel, were the greatest 
twinge my con- torment to me; yea, nothing so 
afflicted me, as the thoughts of Jesus 
Christ, the remembrance of a Saviour ; because I 
had cast Him oiF, brought forth the villany of my 
sin, and my loss by it, to mind ; nothing did twinge 
my conscience like this : every time that I thought 
of the Lord Jesus, of His grace, love, goodness, 
kindness, gentleness, meekness, death, blood, 
promises, and blessed exhortations, comforts, and 
consolations, it went to my soul like a sword ; for 
still unto these my considerations of the Lord Jesus, 
these thoughts wo-uld make place for themselves in 
my heart ; Aye^ this is the Jesus^ the loving Saviour^ 
the Son of God, Whom you have parted with, Whom you 
have slighted.^ despised.^ and abused. This is the only 
Saviour^ the only Redeemer, the only One that could so 

102 



THE TEMPTER BEGAN AFRESH 

love sinners^ as to wash them from their sins in His 
own most precious blood ; but you have no part nor lot in 
this Jesus : you have put Him from you \ you have said 
in your hearty Let Him go, if He will. Now^ there- 
fore, you are severed from Him; you have severed 
yourself from Him : behold then His goodness^ but your- 
self to be no partaker of it. Oh ! thought I, what 
have I lost, what have I parted with ! 
What has disinherited my poor soul ! whit has diV^' 

Oh! 'tis sad to be destroyed by the ini^eritedmy 

J J poor soul 1 

grace and mercy of God ; to have the 

Lamb, the Saviour, turn lion and destroyer. Rev. vi. 
I also trembled, as I have said, at the sight of the 
saints of God, especially at those that greatly loved 
Him, and that made it their business to walk con- 
tinually with Him in this world ; for they did, both 
in their words, their carriages, and all their expressions 
of tenderness and fear to sin against their precious 
Saviour, condemn, lay guilt upon, and ^ trembled at 
also add continual affliction and shame G°^'s Samuels 
upon my soul. The dread of them was upon me^ and 
I trembled at God^s Samuels, i Sam. xvi. 4. 

184. Now also the tempter began afresh to mock 
my soul another way, saying, That Christ indeed 
did pity my case., and was sorry for my loss ; but foras- 
much as I had sinned and transgressed as 1 had done., 
He could by no means help me., nor save me from what 1 
feared : for my sin was not of the nature of theirs^ for 
Whom He bled and died \ neither was it counted with 

103 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

those that were laid to His charge^ when He hanged on 
a tree : therefore^ unless He should come down from 
heaven^ and die anew for this sin, though indeed He did 
greatly pity me, yet I could have no henejit of Him, 
These things may seem ridiculous to others, even as 
ridiculous as they were in themselves, but to me 
they were most tormenting cogitations : every one 
of them augmented my misery, that Jesus Christ 
should have so much love as to pity me, when yet 
He could not help me ; nor did I think that the 
reason why He could not help me, was, because His 
merits were weak, or His grace and salvation spent 
on others already, but because His faithfulness to 
His threatening, would not let Him extend His mercy 
to me. Besides, I thought, as I have already hinted, 

that my sin was not within the bounds 
sin wal not^ of that pardon, that was wrapped up 
TcJunds of pardon ^^ ^ promise ; and if not, then I knew 

assuredly, that it was more easy for 
heaven and earth to pass away, than for me to have 
eternal life. So that the ground of all these fears of 
mine did arise from a steadfast belief I had of the 
stability of the holy word of God, and also from my 
being misinformed of the nature of my sin. 

185. But oh! how this would add to my affllc- 
^ . , ,^ tion, to conceit that I should be 

Scripture v^ould ' . i.-ltt 

strike me down guilty 01 such a sm, tor which He 

did not die. These thoughts would 

so confound me, and imprison me, and tie me up 

104 



BROKEN, SCATTERED, RENT 

from faith, that I knew not what to do. But oh! 

thought I, that He would come down again ! Oh ! 

that the work of man's redemption was yet to be 

done by Christ ! how would I pray Him and entreat 

Him to count and reckon this sin among the rest for 

which He died ! But this scripture would strike me 

down as dead ; Christ bei?ig raised from the dead^ 

dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over 

Him, Rom. vi. 9. 

186. Thus, by the strange and unusual assaults 

of the tempter, my soul was like a ,, , ^ . 

^ ' / . My soul driven 

broken vessel, driven as with the as with the 
winds, and tossed sometimes headlong 
into despair ; sometimes upon the covenant of works, 
and sometimes to wish that the new covenant, and 
the conditions thereof, might so far forth, as I 
thought myself concerned, be turned another way, 
and changed. But in all these ^ I was 
as those that jostle against the rocks ; that jostle 
more broken, scattered and rent. Oh ! ^^^^^^ ^® 
the un - thought - of imaginations, 
frights, fears, and terrors, that are affected by a 
thorough application of guilt yielding to despera- 
tion ! This is the man that hath his dwelling among 
the tojiibs with the dead ; that is always crying out^ 
and cutting himself with stones. Mark v. i, 2, 3. 
But, I say, all in vain ; desperation will not comfort 
him, the old covenant will not save him : nay, 
heaven and earth shall pass away, before one jot or 

105 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

tittle of the word and law of grace will fail or be 
removed. This I saw, this I felt, and under this I 
groaned; yet this advantage I got thereby, namely, 
a farther confirmation of the certainty of the way of 
salvation; and that the scriptures were the word 
of God. Oh! I cannot now express what then I 
saw and felt of the steadiness of Jesus Christ, the 
rock of man's salvation : What was done, could not 
be undone, added to, nor altered. I saw, indeed, 
that sin might drive the soul beyond Christ, even 
the sin which is unpardonable ; but woe to him 
that was so driven, for the word would shut him 
out. 

187. Thus I was always sinking, whatever I did 
I was always think or do. So one day I walked 
sinking ^q a neighbouring town, and sate down 

upon a settle in the street, and fell into a very deep 
pause about the most fearful state my sin had 
brought me to; and after long musing, I lifted up 
my head, but methought I saw, as if 
settiem°th^ the sun that shineth in the heavens 

bou'ring t'own'^'" ^'^ S^'^'^S^ to give light ; and as if 
the very stones in the street, and 
tiles upon the houses, did bend themselves against 
me. Methought that they all combined together to 
banish me out of the world. I was abhorred of 
them, and unfit to dwell among them, or be partaker 
of their benefits, because I had sinned against the 
Saviour. O how happy now was every creature 

106 



FOR A TIME OUT OF DOUBT 

over I was ! For they stood fast, and kept their 
station, but I was gone and lost. 

188. Then breaking out in the bitterness of my 
soul, I said to myself with a grievous 
sigh, How can God comfort such a h/ard, ^' ThiLin 

wretch ! I had no sooner said it, but ^ not unto 

' death 

this returned upon me, as an echo 

doth answer a voice : This sin is not unto death. At 
which I was, as if I had been raised out of the 
grave, and cried out again, Lord^ how couldst Thou 
find out such a word as this ! For I was filled with 
admiration at the fitness, and at the unexpected- 
ness of the sentence ; the fitness of the word, the 
rightness of the timing of it ; the power, and sweet- 
ness, and light, and glory that came with it also, 
were marvellous to me to find : I was now, for the 
time, out of doubt, as to that about which I was so 
much in doubt before ; my fears before were^ that 
my sin was not pardonable, and so that I had no 
right to pray, to repent, etc., or that, if I did, it 
would be of no advantage or profit to me. But now, 
thought I, if this sin is net unto death, then it is 
pardonable ; therefore from this I have encourage- 
ment to come to God by Christ for mercy, to con- 
sider the promise of forgiveness, as 
that which stands with open arms pardonaWewa? 

to receive me as well as others. This a great easement 

to me 

therefore was a great easement to 

my mind, to wit, that my sin was pardonable, that it 

107 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

was not the sin unto death (i John v. i6, 17). None 
but those that know what my trouble (by their own 
experience) was, can tell what relief came to my 
soul by this consideration : it was a release to me 
from my former bonds, and a shelter from the 
former storm : I seemed now to stand upon the 
same ground with other sinners, and to have as good 
right to the word and prayer as any of they. 

189. Now I say, I was in hopes that my sin was 

not unpardonable, but that there might 
lay about hinT t)e hopes for me to obtain forgiveness. 

to bring me j^^^ ^^j^ | j^^^ Satan did now lay about 

down again •' 

him for to bring me down again! 

But he could by no means do it, neither this day, 

nor the most part of the next, for this good sentence 

stood hke a mill-post at my back : yet towards the 

evening of the next day, I felt this word begin to 

leave me, and to withdraw its supportation from me, 

and so I returned to my old fears again, but with 

a great deal of grudging and peevishness, for I feared 

the sorrow of despair ; nor could my faith now long 

retain this word. 

190. But the next day at evening, being under 
many fears, I went to seek the Lord, and as I prayed, 
I cried, and my soul cried to Him in these words, 
with strong cries : Lord^ I beseech Thee^ show me 
that Thou hast loved me with everlasting love. Jer. 
xxxi. 3. I had no sooner said it, but with sweetness 
this returned upon me, as an echo, or sounding 

108 



I WENT TO BED IN QUIET 

again, / have loved thee with an everlasting love. 
Now I went to bed in quiet ; also when I awakened 
the next morning, it was fresh upon my soul ; and I 
believed it. 

191. But yet the tempter left me not; for it 
could not be so little as an hundred ^^ ,^ 

Oh, the combats 
times, that he that day did ubour to that I did then 

break my peace. Oh ! the combats ^ ' 

and conflicts that I did then meet with ; as I strove 

to hold by this word, that of Esau would fly in 

my face like lightning: I should be sometimes up 

and down twenty times in an hour ; yet God did 

bear me up, and keep my heart upon this word ; 

from which I had also, for several days together, 

very much sweetness, and comfortable hopes of 

pardon : for thus it was made out unto me, / loved 

thee whilst thou wast committing this sin^ 1 loved thee 

before^ I love thee stilly and I will love thee for ever. 

192. Yet I saw my sin most barbarous, and a filthy 
crime, and could not but conclude, and ,, . 

\ \ My sin a bar- 

that with great shame and astonish- barous and filthy 

ment, that I had horribly abused the 
holy Son of God : wherefore I felt my soul greatly 
to love and pity Him, and my bowels to yearn to- 
wards Kim ; for I saw He was still my friend, 

and did reward me eood for evil : 

1 rr • 1 ' I had a hot de- 

yea, the love and aiiection that then sire of revenge- 

•j.i, -.T,*^ TJ J ment upon myself 

did burn withm to my Lord and 
Saviour Jesus Christ, did work at this time such a 

109 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

strong and hot desire of revengement upon myself 
for the abuse I had done unto Him, that to speak as 
I then thought, had I had a thousand gallons of blood 
within my veins, I could freely then have spilt it all, 
at the command and feet of this my Lord and 
Saviour. 

193. And as I was thus in musing, and in my 
studies, considering how to love the Lord, and to 
express my love to Him, that saying came in upon 
me, If Thou^ Lord^ shouldst mark iniquities^ Lord^ 
who should stand F But there is forgiveness with 
Thee^ that Thou may est he feared. Psalm cxxx. 3, 4. 
These were good words to me, especially the latter 
part thereof ; to wit, that there is forgiveness with 
the Lord, that He might be feared ; that is, as then 
I understood it, that He might be loved, and had 
in reverence; for it was thus made out to me, 
That the great God did set so high an esteem upon 
the love of His poor creatures^ that rather than He 
would go without their love^ He would pardon their 
transgressions. 

194. And now was that word fulfilled on me, 

and I was also refreshed by it; 
My soul at this ^, , r r 7 

time set at Ihat thou may est remember and be 

^ ^ confounded^ and never open thy mouth 

any more., because of thy shame, when I am pacified 
toward thee for all that thou hast done., saith the 
Lord God. Ezek. xvi. 62,. Thus was my soul at 
this time (and as I then did think for ever) set at 

no 



WORDS ON WHICH I LEANED 

liberty from being afflicted with my former guilt and 
amazement. 

195. But before many weeks were gone, I be- 
gan to despond again, fearing, lest, j ^^^^^ ^^ ^^3. 
notwithstanding all that I had en- pond again 
joyed, that I might be deceived and destroyed at the 
last ; for this consideration came strong into my 
mind. That whatever comfort and peace I thought I 
might have from the word of the promise of Ife^ yet 
unless there could he found in my refreshment^ a con- 
currence and agreement in the scriptures^ let me think 
what I will thereof and hold it never so fast ^ I should 
find no such thing at the end ; And the scripture cannot 
be broken. John x. '^^, 

196. Now began my heart again to ache, and 
fear I might meet with a disappoint- i examine my 
ment at last. Wherefore I began former comfort 
with all seriousness to examine my former comfort, 
and to consider whether one that had sinned as I 
had done, might with confidence trust upon the faith- 
fulness of God, laid down in those words, by which 
I had been comforted, and on which I had leaned 
myself: but now were brought those sayings to my 
mind. For it is impossible for those who were once en- 
lightened^ and have tasted of the heavenly gift ^ and were 
made partakers of the Holy Ghost ^ and have tasted the 
good word of God^ and the powers of the world to 
come^ if they shall fall away^ to renew them again unto 
repentance. Heb. vi. 4-6. For^ if we sin wilfully^ after 

III 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

we have received the knowledge of the truth^ there 
remains no more sacrifice for sin^ hut a certain fearful 
looking for of judgment^ and fiery indignation^ which 
shall devour the adversaries, Heb. x. 26, 27. As 
Esau^ who for one morsel of meat^ sold his birthright. 
For ye know how that afterward^ when he would 
have inherited the blessing,, he was rejected-, for he 
found no place of repentance., though he sought it care- 
fully with tears. Pleb. xii. 16, 17. 

197. Now was the word of the gospel forced 

from my soul ; so that no promise or 
I have neither 1 r 1 • 

foot-hold or hand- encouragement was to be found m 

?hilfaysald^^ the Bible for me: and now would 
props of xh'^[ sayinsr work upon my spirit to 

scripture t^- r\ t 1 r 

afflict me, Rejoice not^ Israel^ for 
joy, as other people, llos. ix. i. For I saw indeed, 
there was cause of rejoicing for those that held 
to Jesus ; but for me, I had cut myself oil by m.y 
transgressions, and left myself neither foot-hold, or 
hand-hold, among all the stays and props in the 
precious word of life. 

198. And truly, I did now feel myself to sink 

into a crulph, as an house whose 
I had no peace ^ i • • 1 j t j-j ti 

for two years foundation IS destroyed J i did liken 

and a half myself in this condition, unto the 

case of some child that was fallen into a mill-pit, 

who though it could make some shift to scramble and 

sprawl in the water, yet because it could find neither 

hold for hand nor foot, therefore at last it must die 

112 



^MANY DAYS' ARE NOT FOR EVER 

in that condition. So soon as this fresh assault had 

fastened on my soul, that scripture came into my 

heart, This for many days. Dan. x. 14. And 

indeed I found it was so ; for I could not be 

delivered, nor brought to peace again, until well 

nigh two years and a half were com- 

pletely finished. Wherefore these condition would 

words, though in themselves, they 

tended to discouragement, yet to me, who feared 

this condition would be eternal, they were at some 

times as an help and refreshment to me. 

199. For, thought I, many days are not for 
ever, many days will have an end ; therefore seeing 
I was to be afflicted not a few but many days^ yet I 
was glad it was but for many days. Thus, I say, I 
would recall myself sometimes, and give myself an 
help, for as soon as ever the words came into my 
mind, at first, I knew my trouble would be long, 
yet this would be but sometimes ; for I could not 
always think on this, nor ever be helped by it, 
though I did. 

200. Now while the scriptures lay before me, 
and laid sin anew at my door, that «iv7iiipray' 
sayinsr, in Luke xviii. 1, with others, "Tistonoboot,' 

,/, °' ' , ' said Satan. Yet 

did encourage me to prayer: then said i,'i will 
the tempter laid again at me very ^^^^ 
sore, suggesting, That neither the mercy of God^ 
nor yet the blood of Christy did at all concern me^ nor 
could they help me for my sin ; therefore it was but 

H 113 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

in vain to pray. Yet, thought I, / will pray. But, 
said the tempter, your sin is unpardonable. Well, 
said I, / will pray. 'Tis to no boot, said he. 
Yet said I, / will pray. So I went to prayer to 
God ; and while I was at prayer, I uttered words 
to this effect : hord.^ Satan tells me., that neither Thy 
mercy., nor Christ's blood, is sujfficient to save my soul : 
Lord, shall I honour Thee most, by believing Thou wilt, 
and canst ? or him, by believing Thou neither wilt not 
nor canst / Lord, I would fain honour Thee, by believ^ 
ing Thou wilt and canst, 

20 1. And as I was thus before the Lord, that 
I could not think scripture fastened on my heart (O 
I had faith ^^^^ gj.g^^ jg ^j^y ^.^^^Yi), Matt. XV. 28, 

even as if one had clapped me on the back, as I 
was on my knees before God : yet I was not able to 
believe this, that this was a prayer of faith, till almost 
six months after ; for I could not think that I had 
faith, or that there should be a word for me to act 
faith on ; therefore I should still be, as sticking in 
the jaws of desperation, and went mourning up and 
down in a sad condition. 

202. There was nothing now that I longed for 

more than to be put out of doubt, as 
S?m^r! ttSFto to this thing in question, and as I 
d^^bt^^"*^^ was vehemently desiring to know, if 

there was indeed hope for me, these 
words came rolling into my mind, Will the Lord 
cast off for ever? and will He be favourable no 

114 



HIS PROMISE DOTH NOT FAIL 

more? Is His mercy clean gone for ever? Doth His 
promise fail for evermore ? Hath God forgotten to 
he gracious ? Hath He in anger shut up His tender 
mercies ? Ps. Ixxvii. 7-9. And all the while they 
run in my mind, methought I had still this as the 
answer, 'T/V a question whether He hath or no : it 
may he He hath not. Yea, the interrogatory seemed 
to me to carry in it a sure affirmation that indeed 
He had not, nor would so cast off, but would be 
favourable : that His promise doth not fail, and that 
He had not forgotten to be gracious, nor would in 
anger shut up tender mercy. Something also there 
was upon my heart at the same time, which I 
cannot now call to mind, which, with this text, 
did sweeten my heart, and make me conclude, that 
His mercy might not be quite gone, nor clean gone 
for ever. 

203. At another time I remembered, I was again 
much under this question, Whether 
the Mood of Christ was sufficient to 7ound%Tdlnlf 

save my soul? in which doubt I con- withm my heart : 

-^ . . * He IS able* 

tinned from morning, till about seven 

or eight at night : and at last, when I was, as it 

were, quite worn out with fear, lest it should not 

lay hold on me, these words did sound suddenly 

within my heart: He is ahle. But methought, 

this word able^ was spoke loud unto me ; it showed 

a great word^ it seemed to be writ in great letters, 

and gave such a jostle to my fear and doubt (I mean 

IIS 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

for the time it tarried with me, which was about a 
day) as I never had from that, all my life, either 
before or after. Heb. vii. 25. 

204. But one morning as I was again at prayer, and 

trembling under the fear of this, That 
darted in upon ^0 word of God could help me^ that 
Ssufficient"^^ piece of a sentence darted in upon 

me, My grace is siifficient. At 
this, methought I felt some stay, as if there might 
be hopes. But, oh ! how good a thing it is for 
God to send His word ! for, about a fortnight 
before, I was looking on this very place, and then I 
thought it could not come near my soul with comfort, 
therefore I threw down my book in a pet : then 
I thought it was not large enough for me ; no, not 
large enough ; but now it was as if it had arms of 
grace so wide, that it could not only enclose me, but 
many more such as I besides. 

205. By these words I was sustained, yet not 

without exceeding conflicts, for the 
be^n and o^t^ space of scven or eight weeks ; for 
twenty times a ^^y peace would be in it, and out, 

sometimes twenty times a day ; 
comfort now, and trouble presently ; peace now, and 
before I could go a furlong, as full of fear and guilt 
as ever heart could hold. And this was not only 
now and then, but my whole seven weeks' experience : 
for this about the sufficiency of grace^ and that of 
Esau's parting with his birthright, would be Hke 

116 



MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT 

a pair of scales within my mind ; sometimes one 
end would be uppermost, and sometimes again the 
other; according to which would be my peace or 
trouble. 

206. Therefore I did still pray to God, that He 
would come in with this scripture Therefore I did 
more fully on my heart ; to wit, that ^^^ P^^y ^^ ^^^ 
He would help me to apply the whole sentence, for 
as yet I could not : that He gave, that I gathered ; 
but farther I could not go, for as yet it only helped 
me to hope there might be mercy for me ; My 
grace is sufficient : And though it came no farther, 
it answered my former question, to wit. That there 
was hope ; yet because for thee was left out, 
I was not contented, but prayed to God for that 
also. Wherefore, one day, when 1 was in a meeting 
of God's people, full of sadness and terror ; for my 
fears again were strong upon me ; 

and, as I was now thinking, my soul were strong 
was never the better, but my case "P°"^^ 
most sad and fearful, these words did with great 
power suddenly break in upon me ; My grace is 
sufficient for thee^ My grace is sufficient for thee^ My 
grace is sufficient for thee^ three times together : 
And oh ! methought that every word was a mighty 
word unto me ; as Mj, and grace^ and sifficient^ 
and for thee \ they were then, and sometimes are 
still, far bigger than others be. 

207. At which time my understanding was so 

117 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

enlightened, that I was as though I had seen the 
My understand- ^ord Jesus look down from heaven, 
ing enlightened through the tiles upon me, and direct 
these words unto me. This sent me mourning 
home ; it broke my heart, and filled me full of joy, 
and laid me low as the dust ; only it stayed not long 
with me, I mean in this glory and refreshing 
comfort ; yet it continued with me for several weeks, 
and did encourage me to hope : but as soon as that 
My soul did powerful operation of it was taken 

hang: as in a pair from my heart, that other, about 

of scales, some- •' 

times up, and Esau, returned upon me as before : 

sometimes down i j • j i, • • r 

SO my soul did hang as in a pair of 

scales again, sometimes up, and sometimes down ; 

now in peace, and anon again in terror. 

208. Thus I went on for many weeks, sometimes 

comforted, and sometimes tormented ; and especially 

at sometimes my torment would be very sore, for all 

those scriptures forenamed in the Hebrews, would 

be set before me, as the only sentences that would 

keep me out of heaven. Then again I would begin 

to repent that ever that thought went through me ; 

I would also think thus with myself: Why, how 

many scriptures are there against vie ? There are hut 

three or four ; And cannot God miss them^ and save 

me for all them ? Sometimes again I would think, 

Oh I if it were not for these three or four words, now 

how might I be comforted f And I could hardly 

forbear at some times, to wish them out of the book, 

118 



THE CITY OF REFUGE 

209. Then methought I should see as if both 
Peter and Paul, and John, and all j thought Peter 
the writers, did look with scorn upon »"d P^^i and 
me, and hold me in derison ; and as if with scorn upon 
they had said unto me. All our words ™* 

are truth, one of as much force as another : it is 
not we that have cut you off, hut you have cast away 
yourself There is none of our sentences that you must 
take hold upon, hut these and such as these ; It is im- 
possible, Heb. vi. ; there remains no more sacrifice for 
sin, Heb. x. And it had been better for them not to 
have known the will of God, than after they had 
known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered 
unto them, 2 Peter ii. 21. For the Scriptures cannot 
be broken. John x. ^S* 

210. These, as the elders of the city of refuge, 
I saw, were to be judges both of 

my case and me, while I stood with Jecif/oPrelge 

the avenger of blood at my heels, were to be my 

11- 1 • r J 1- judges, 

trembhng at their gate tor deliverance ; 

also with a thousand fears and mistrusts, I doubted 
that they would shut me out for ever. Joshua xx. 

211. Thus I was confounded, not knowing 
what to do, or how to be satisfied in i quaked at the 
this question, Whether the scriptures apostles 
could agree in the salvation of my soul ? I quaked 
at the apostles ; I knew their words were true, and 
that they must stand for ever. 

119 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

212. And I remember one day, as I was in divers 
I was in divers frames of spirit, and considering that 
frames of spirit these frames were according to the 
nature of several scriptures that came in upon my 
mind ; if this of grace, then was I quiet ; but of that 
of Esau^ then tormented. Lord^ thought I, if both 
these scriptures should meet in my heart at once^ I wonder 
which of them would get the better of me. So me- 
thought I had a longing mind that they might come 
both together upon me ; yea, I desired of God they 
might. 

213. Well, about two or three days after, so they 
_ , . , did indeed ; they bolted both upon 

Esau's birth- ; •' . ^ 

right began to me at a time, and did work and 

struggle strangely in me for a while ; 

at last that about Esau% birthright began to wax 

weak, and withdraw, and vanish ; and this, about 

the sufficiency of grace prevailed with peace and 

joy. And as I was in a muse about this thing, 

that scripture came in upon me, Mercy rejoiceth 

against judgment. James ii. 13. 

214. This was a wonderment to me ; yet truly, 
^, . I am apt to think it was of God ; for 

i^his was el 

wonderment to the word of the law and wrath, must 

"^ give place to the word of life and 

grace ; because, though the word of condemnation 

be glorious, yet the word of life and salvation doth 

far exceed in glory. 2 Cor. iii. 8-1 1. Mark ix. 

5-7. John vi. 2>7* Also that Moses and Elias 

120 



HIM THAT COMES, HIM, ANY HIM 

must both vanish, and leave Christ and His saints 

alone. 

215. This scripture also did now most sweetly 

visit my soul ; And him that cometh ^^ , ,, ' ^ 

J / Oh ! the comfort 

to Me^ I will in no wise cast out. Oh ! I had from ♦ in 
the comfort that I had from this ° ^ 
word, in no wise! As who should say, By no 
means^ for nothing whatever he hath done. But 
Satan would greatly labour to pull this promise from 
me, telling of me. That Christ did not mean me and 
such as /, but sinners of a lower rank^ that had not 
done as I had done. But I would answer him again, 
Satan^ here is in these words no such exception ; but 
him that comes ^ him^ any him: him that cometh to Mel 
will in no wise cast out. And this I well remember 
still, that of all the slights that Satan used to take 
this scripture from me, yet he never did so much as 
put this question, But do you come aright ? And I 
have thought the reason was, because he thought I 
knew full well what coming aright was ; for I saw 
that to come aright, was to come as I was, a vile 
and ungodly sinner, and to cast myself at the feet of 
mercy, condemning myself for sin. If ever Satan 
and I did strive for any word of God 

, 1 1 • r • ^ r i_ • J Satan and I did 

m all my lire, it was for this good tu^ and strive, 
word of Christ ; he at one end, and ^Xd"^"^* ^^ ^ 
I at the other : Oh ! what work did 
we make ! It was for this in John.^ I say, that we did 
so tug and strive, he pulled, and I pulled ; but 

121 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

God be praised, I got the better of him ; I got some 
sweetness from it. 

216. But notwithstanding all these helps, and 
„^ , , blessed words of s^race, yet that of 

Wherefore I r 1 • 1 • 1 • i 

went another Esau s selung or his birthright, would 
way o wor ^^j^j ^^ times distress my conscience : 

for though I had been most sweetly comforted, 
and that but just before, yet when that came into my 
mind, 'twould make me fear again : I could not be 
quite rid thereof, 'twould every day be with me : 
wherefore now I went another way to work, even to 
consider the nature of this blasphemous thought, I 
mean, if I should take the words at the largest, and 
give them their own natural force and scope, even 
every word therein : so when I had thus considered, 
I found, that if they were fairly taken, they would 
amount to this ; That 1 had freely left the Lord 
Jesus Christ to His choice^ whether He would be my 
Saviour or no; for the wicked words were these, 
Let Him go^ if He will. Then that scripture gave 
me hope, / will never leave thee^ nor forsake thee, 
Heb. xiii. 5. Lord^ said I, but I have left Thee, 
Then it answered again, But I will not leave thee. 
For this I thanked God also. 

217. Yet I was grievous afraid He should, and 
. , , .^ found it exceeding hard to trust Him, 

I found it ex- o > 

ceeding hard to seeing I had SO offended Him : I could 

trust Him , , ,. 1 , i 1 • 

have been exceeding glad that this 
thought had never befallen ; for then I thought I 

122 




BUNYAN WRESTLING IN PrAYER. 

Then that Scripture gave me hope, ' / will never leave thee, nor forsaks 
thee'—Heb. xiii. 5. ' O Lord: said /, ' but I have lejt Thee: 



I HAD SO OFFENDED HIM 

could with more ease and freedom in abundance, 
have leaned on His grace. I saw it was with me, 
as it was with Joseph's brethren ; the guilt of their 
own wickedness did often fill them with fears that 
their brother would at last despise them. Gen. 1. 
15, 16, etc. 

2 1 8. Yet above all the scriptures that I yet did 
meet with that in/<9^/6z/^z xx. was the , . ^ 

I was convinced 

greatest comfort to me, which speaks that i was a 
of the slayer that was to flee for ^^^^^ 
refuge : And if the avenger of blood pursue the slayer^ 
then saith Moses ^ they that are the elders of the city of 
refuge shall not deliver him into his hands ^ because he 
smote his neighbour unwittingly and hated him not 
aforetime. Oh ! blessed be God for this word : I 
was convinced that I was the slayer ; and that the 
avenger of blood pursued me, I felt with great terror ; 
only now it remained that I inquire whether I have 
right to enter the city of refuge : so I found, that 
he must not, who lay in wait to shed blood: It 
was not the wilful murderer., but he who unwittingly 
did it, he who did it unawares ; not out of spite, or 
grudge, or malice, he that shed it unwittingly: even he 
who did not hate his neighbour before. Wherefore, 

219. I thought verily I was the man that must 
enter, because I had smitten my , ^ ^ 

• ,, . . 7 11 1 Tj. I thought verily 

neighbour unwittingly^ and hated Him I was the man 
not aforetime. I hated Him not afore- ^ °^"^ ^ ^^ 
time ; no, I prayed unto Him, was tender of sinning 

123 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

against Him ; yea, and against this wicked temptation 
I had strove for a twelvemonth before; yea, and 
also when it did pass through my heart, it did in 
spite of my teeth : wherefore I thought I had a 
right to enter this city, and the elders, which are 
the apostles^ were not to deliver me up. This there- 
fore was great comfort to me, and gave me much 
ground of hope. 

220. Yet being very critical, for my smart had 

made me that I knew not what ground 

I knew not what u ^ i. t i j 

ground was sure ^as sure cnough to bear me, 1 had 
wiough to bear ^^^ question that my soul did much 
desire to be resolved about ; and that 
was. Whether it be possible for any soul that hath 
sinned the unpardonable sin, yet after that to receive^ 
though but the least, true spiritual comfort from 
God through Christ ? The which after I had much 
considered, I found the answer was. No, they 
could not ; and that for these reasons : — 

221. First, Because those that have sinned that 
sin, they are debarred a share in the blood of Christ ; 
and being shut out of that, they must needs be void 
of the least ground of hope, and so of spiritual 
comfort; For to such there remains no more sacrifice 
for sin. Heb. x. 26, 27. Secondly, Because they are 

denied a share in the promise of life : // shall never 
be forgiven him neither in this world, neither in the 
world to come. Matt. xii. 32. Thirdly, The Son of 
God excludes them also from a share in His blessed 

124 



THEIR VISAGE CHANGED 

intercession, being for ever ashamed to own them, 
both before His holy Father, and the blessed angels 
in heaven. Mark viii. 

222. When I had with much deliberation con- 
sidered of this matter, and could not , ^ ^ ^ 

' I had been so 

but conclude that the Lord had com- greatly 

forted me, and that too after this ^ "^ ® 

my wicked sin : then methought I durst venture 

to come nigh unto those most fearful and terrible 

scriptures, with which all this while I had been so 

greatly affrighted, and on which indeed, before I 

durst scarce cast mine eye (yea, had much ado an 

hundred times, to forbear wishing , ^ , , , 
' . o I began to take 

them out of the Bible), for I thought some measure of 

they would destroy me ; but now, 
I say, I began to take some measure of encourage- 
ment, to come close to them to read them, and con- 
sider them, and to weigh their scope and tendency. 

223. The which when I began to do, I found their 
visage changed : for they looked not , 

^ . ^ ^ Icametremblmg 

so grimly, as before I thought they to the sixth of 
did : and first I came to the sixth of 
the Hebrews^ yet trembling for fear it should 
strike me ; which when I had considered, I found 
that the falling there intended, was a falling 
quite away ; that is as I conceived, a falling from, 
and absolute denying of the gospel, of remission of 
sins by Jesus Christ ; for, from them the apostle 
begins his argument, verses i, 2, 3, 4. Secondly^ I 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

found that this falling away, must be openly, even in 
the view of the world, even so as to put Christ to 
an open shame. Thirdly^ I found those he there 
intended, were for ever shut up of God, both in 
blindness, hardness, and impenitency : 
waTnoUhe^siii ^^ ^^ impossible they should be renewed 
'Vnd d^^* ^^^/w unto repentance. By all these 

particulars, I found to God's ever- 
lasting praise, my sin was not the sin in this place 
intended. 

First^ I confessed I was fallen, but not fallen away ; 
that is, from the profession of faith in Jesus unto 
eternal life. 

Secondly^ I confessed that I had put Jesus Christ 
to shame by my sin, but not to open shame ; I did 
not deny Him before men, nor condemn Him as a 
fruitless One before the world. 

Thirdly^ Nor did I find that God had shut me up, 

I found it hard ^^ ^^^^^^ ^^ ^^ ^^^^ (though I found 

work to come Jt hard work indeed to come) to Him 
by sorrow and repentance : blessed be God for 
unsearchable grace ! 

224. Then I considered that in the loth chapter 

^, , ,. of the Hebrews, and found that the 

The Lord knows . , . 

my sin was wilful sin there mentioned, is not 

devilish ^^^^^ v^WM sin, but that which doth 

throw off Christ, and then His commandments too. 
Secondly^ That must be done also openly, before two 
or three witnesses, to answer that of the law, verse 

126 



*LIKE A SPEAR AGAINST ME* 

28. Thirdly^ This sin cannot be committed, but with 
great despite done to the Spirit of Grace ; despising 
both the dissuasions from that sin, and the persua- 
sions to the contrary. But the Lord knows, though 
this my sin was devilish, yet it did not amount to these. 

225. And as touching that in the 12th of the 
Hebrews^ about Esau's selling of his birthright ; 
though this was that which killed me, and stood 
like a spear against me, yet now I did consider, First^ 
that his was not a hasty thought against the con- 
tinual labour of his mind, but a thought consented 
to, and put in practice likewise, and that after some 
deliberation, Gen. xxv. Secondly^ It was a public and 
open action, even before his brother, if not before 
many more ; this made his sin of a far more heinous 
nature than otherwise it would have been. Thirdly, 
He continued to slight his birthright : He did eat 
and drink ^ and went his way : thus Esau despised 
his birthright, yea, twenty years after he was found 
to despise it still. And Esau said, / have enough, 
my brother, keep that thou hast unto thyself. Gen. 
xxxiii. 9. 

226. Now as touching this, that Esau sought a 
place of repentance ; thus I thought ; 

First, This was not for the birth- thripos*tfe*con- 
right, but the blessing: this is clear cerning Esau's 
from the apostle, and is dis- 
tinguished by Esau himself; He took away my 
birthright (that is, formerly) ; and behold now he 

127 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

hath taken away my blessing. Gen. xxvii. 2>^, 
Secondly^ Now, this being thus considered, I came 
again to the apostle, to see what might be the 
mind of God, in a New-Testament style and sense 
concerning Esau's sin ; and so far as I could con- 
ceive, this was the mind of God, that the birthright 
signified regeneration^ and the blessings the eternal 
inheritance ; for so the apostle seems to hint. Lest 
there be any profane person^ as Esau, wIjo for one 
morsel of meat sold his birthright \ as if he should 
say, That shall cast oiF all those blessed beginnings 
of God, that at present are upon him, in order to a new- 
birth ; lest they become as Esau^ even be rejected 
afterwards^ when they would inherit the blessing. 

227. For many there are, who, in the day of 
grace and mercy, despise those things which are 
indeed the birthright to heaven, who yet when the 
deciding day appears, will cry as loud as Esau^ 
Lord^ Lord^ open to us ; but then, as Isaac would 
not repent, no more will God the Father, but will 
say, / have blessed these^ yea^ and they shall be 
blessed] but as for you. Depart^ you are the 
workers of iniqidty. Gen. xxvii. 32; Luke xiii. 
25-27. 

228. When I had thus considered these scriptures, 
^, , . , and found that thus to understand 

The hinder part . 

of the tempest them, was not agamst, but accordmg 
on y remaine ^^ other scriptures ; this still added 

further to my encouragement and comfort, and also 

128 



THE THUNDER WAS GONE 

gave a great blow to that objection, to wit, That 
the scriptures could not agree in the salvation of my 
soul. And now remained only the hinder part of 
the tempest, for the thunder was gone beyond me, 
only some drops did still remain, that now and then 
would fall upon me ; but because my former frights 
and anguish were very sore and deep, therefore it 
oft befall me still, as it befalleth those that have 
been scared with fire. I thought every voice was, 
Fire ! fire ! Every little touch would hurt my 
tender conscience. 

229. But one day, as I was passing in the field, 

and that too with some dashes on 

r • 1 ^ 11 This sentence 

my conscience, tearmg lest yet all feii upon my soul, 
was not right, suddenly this sentence Je^^ Sfn heaven 
fell upon my soul. Thy righteous- 
ness is in heaven ; and methought withal, I saw with 
the eyes of my soul, Jesus Christ at God's right 
hand : there, I say, Vv^as my righteousness ; so that 
vherever I was, or whatever I was doing, God 
could not say of me. He wants My righteousness ; 
for that was just before Him. I also saw moreover, 
that it was not my good frame of heart that made 
my righteousness better, nor yet my bad frame that 
made my righteousness worse ; for my righteous- 
ness was Jesus Christ Himself, The same yesterday.^ 
to-day., and for ever. Heb. xiii. 8. 

230. Now did my chains fall off my legs indeed ; 
I was loosed from my afflictions and irons; my 

I 129 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

temptations also fled away; so that from that time 
those dreadful scriptures of God left off to trouble 
My chains fall ^^ ' ^^w went I also home rejoicing, 
off my legs for the grace and love of God; so 

when I came home, 1 looked to see if I could find 
that sentence ; T/jy righteousness is in heaven^ but 

I went home ^^^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^uch a Saying ; where- 

rejoicing: fore my heart began to sink again, 

only that was brought to my remembrance, i Cor. 
i. 30, Christ Jesus^ who of God is made unto us wisdom^ 
and righteousness^ and sanctijication^ and redemption ; 
by this word I saw the other sentence true. 

231. For by this scripture I saw that the Man 

Christ Jesus, as He is distinct from 
IwIetVi7peace ^s, as touching His bodily presence, so 
with God He is our righteousness and sanctifica- 

through Christ . ,r^j tt t. r t 

tion before God. Here thererore 1 
lived, for some time, very sweetly at peace with God 
through Christ ; Oh ! methought, Christ ! Christ ! 
there was nothing but Christ that was before my 
eyes ; I was not now (only) for looking upon this 
and the other benefits of Christ apart, as of His 
blood, burial, or resurrection, but considering Him 
as a whole Christ ! as He in whom all these, and all 
His other virtues, relations, offices and operations met 
together, and that He sat on the right hand of God 
in heaven. 

232. 'Twas glorious to me to see His exaltation, 
and the worth and prevalency of all His benefits, and 

130 



*HIS VICTORY ALSO MINE' 

that because now I could look from myself to Him 
and should reckon, that all those graces of God that 
now were green on me, were yet but 
like those cracked groats and four- tTme^tf see°"^ 
pence-halfpennies that rich men carry Chnst's exalta- 
in their purses, when their gold is in 
their trunks at home : Oh ! I saw my gold was in my 
trunk at home ! In Christ my Lord and Saviour. 
Now Christ was all ; all my wisdom, all my righteous- 
ness, all my sanctification, and all my redemption. 

2^^. Further, the Lord did also lead me into the 
mystery of union with the Son of 
God ; that I was joined to Him, that t&sfery'of 

I was flesh of His flesh, and bone of union with the 

, Son of God 

His bone; and now was that word 

sweet to me in Eph. v. 30. By this also was my 
faith in Him, as my righteousness, the more con- 
firmed in me ; for if He and I were one, then His 
righteousness was mine, His merits mine, His victory 
also mine. Now could I see myself in heaven and 
earth at once : in heaven by my Christ, by my head, 
by my righteousness and life, though on earth by 
my body or person. 

234. Now I saw Christ Jesus was looked upon of 
God ; and should also be looked upon by us, as that 
common or public person, in whom all the whole 
body of His elect are always to be considered and 
reckoned ; that we fulfilled the law by Him, died by 
Him, rose from the dead by Him, got the victory over 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

sin, death, the devil, and hell, by Him; when He 
died, we died, and so of His resurrection. Thy 
dead men shall live^ together with My dead body shall 
they arise ^ saith He. Isa. xxvi. 19. And again, after 
two days He will revive us^ and the third day He will 
raise us up^ and we shall live in His sight, Hosea 
vi. 2. Which is now fulfilled by the sitting down of 
the Son of Man on the right hand of the Majesty in 
the heavens ; according to that to the Ephesians^ And 
hath raised us up together^ and made us sit together in 
heavenly places in Christ Jesus. Eph. ii. 6. 

235. Ah ! these blessed considerations and scrip- 
lam moved to tu^es, with many others of like 
P^'^ise nature, were in those days made to 
spangle in mine eyes ; so that I have cause to say, 
Praise ye the Lord. Praise God in His sanctuary^ 
praise Him in the firmament of His power ; praise 
Him for His mighty acts : praise Him according to His 
excellent greatness. Psalm cl. 1,2. 

236. Having thus in a few words given you a 
taste of the sorrow and affliction that my soul went 
under, by the guilt and terror that this my wicked 
thought did lay me under ; and having given you 
also a touch of my deliverance therefrom, and of 
the sweet and blessed comfort that I met with after- 
wards, which comfort dwelt about a twelvemonth 
with my heart, to my unspeakable admiral ion: I will 
now (God willing), before I proceed any farther, 
give you in a word or two, what, as I conceive, was 

132 



MY SOUL MUCH IN PRAYER 

the cause of this temptation ; and also after that, 
what advantage, at the last, it became unto my soul. 

237. For the causes, I conceived they were princi- 
pally two: of which two also I was The cause of my 
deeply convinced all the time this temptations 
trouble lay upon me. The first was, for that I did 
not, when I was delivered from the temptation that 
went before, still pray to God to 

keep me from the temptations that l^^eptfrom^^^ 

were to come ; for thoueh, as I can temptations that 

. , . were to come 

say m truth, my soul was much m 

prayer before this trial seized me, yet then I 

prayed only, or at the most principally, for the 

removal of present troubles, and for fresh discoveries 

of His love in Christ, which I saw afterwards was 

not enough to do ; I also should have prayed that 

the great God would keep me from the evil that 

was to come. 

238. Of this I was made deeply sensible by the 
prayer of holy David^ who when he was under 
present mercy, yet prayed that God would hold him 
back from sin and temptation to come ; Then^ 
saith he, shall I be upright^ and I shall be innocent 

from the great transgression. Psalm xix. 13. By 
this very word was I galled and condemned quite 
through this long temptation. 

239. That was also another word that did much 
condemn me for my folly, in the neglect of this 
duty. Heb. iv. 16: Let us therefore come boldly 

^2>Z 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

unto the throne of grace ^ that we may obtain mercy ^ 
There was ^^^ fi^^^ grace to help in time of need. 

another word Xliis I had not done, and therefore 

that did much rr i • 

condemn me for was thus Suffered to sin and fall, ac- 
^^ ^ ^ cording to what is written, Fray that 

ye enter not into temptation. And truly this very 
thing is to this day of such weight and awe upon 
me, that I dare not, when I come before the Lord, 
go off my knees, until I intreat Him for help and 
mercy against the temptations that are to come ; and 
I do beseech thee, reader, that thou learn to beware 
of my negligence, by the afflictions, that for this 
thing I did for days, and months, and years, with 
sorrow undergo. 

240. Another cause of this temptation was, that 
I had tempted God ; and on this manner did I do 
it : Upon a time my wife was great with child, and 
before her full time was come, her pangs, as of a 
woman in travail, were fierce and strongupon her, even 
as if she would have fallen immediately in labour, and 
been delivered of an untimely birth : now at this very 
time it was, that I had been so strongly tempted to 
question the being of God ; wherefore, as my wife 
lay crying by me, I said, but with all secrecy imagin- 
able, even thinking in my heart, Lord.^ if Thou wilt now 
remove this sad affliction from my wife., and cause that 
she be troubled no more therewith this night (and now 
were her pangs just upon her), then I shall know that 
Thou canst discern the most secret thoughts of the heart. 



HE KNEW MY SECRET THOUGHTS 

241. I had no sooner said it in my heart, but her 
pangs were taken from her, and she was cast into a 
deep sleep, and so continued till morning ; at this I 
greatly marvelled, not knowing what to think ; but 
after I had been awake a good while, and heard her 
cry no more, I fell asleep also ; so when I awaked in 
the morning, it came upon me again, even what I 
had said in my heart the last night, and how the 
Lord had showed me, that He knew my secret 
thoughts, which was a great astonishment unto me 
for several weeks after 

242. Well, about a year and a half afterwards, 
that wicked sinful thought, of which 

, , 1 1 r 11 That wicked 

1 have spoken before, went through thought, 'Let 
my wicked heart, even this thought, wm/ ISnt'^^** 
Let Christ go, if He will: so when through my 
I was fallen under the guilt for this, 
the remembrance of my other thought, and of the 
effect thereof, would also come upon me with this 
retort, which also carried rebuke along with it, Now 
you may see that God doth know the most secret thoughts 
of the heart. 

243. And with this, that of the passages that were 

betwixt the Lord, and His servant 

••VI I am hke Gideon 

Lfideon^ reli upon my spirit ; now be- 
cause that Gideon tempted God with his fleece, both 
wet and dry, when he should have believed and 
ventured upon His word ; therefore the Lord did 
afterwards so try him, as to send him against an 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

innumerable company of enemies, and that too, as to 
outward appearance, without any strength or help. 
Judges vi. 7. Thus He served me, and that justly, 
for I should have believed His word, and not have put 
an if upon the all-seeingness of God. 

244. And now to show you something of the 

advantages that 1 also have gained 
pi^es by°the" *° ^7 ^^'^^ temptation : and first, by this 

glory of the holi- I ^as made continually to possess in 
cess of God 

my soul a very wonderful sense both 

of the blessing and glory of God, and of His 

beloved Son ; in the temptation that went before, 

my soul was perplexed with unbelief, blasphemy, 

hardness of heart, questions about the being of 

God, Christ, the truth of the word, and certainty 

of the world to come : I say, then I was greatly 

assaulted and tormented with atheism, but now 

the case was otherwise ; now was God and Christ 

continually before my face, though not in a way of 

comfort, but in a way of exceeding dread and terror. 

The glory of the holiness of God, did at this time 

break me to pieces ; and the bowels and compassion 

of Christ did break me as on the wheel ; for I could 

not consider Him but as a lost and rejected Christ, 

the remembrance of which, was as the continual 

breaking of my bones. 

245. The scriptures also were wonderful things 
unto me ; I saw that the truth and verity of them 
were the keys of the kingdom of heaven; those 

136 



TEMPTATION AND PROMISE 

that the scriptures favour, they must inherit bHss ; 
but those that they oppose and con- i saw that the 

demn, must perish for evermore : Oh! truth of the 

' * . scriptures were 

this word, tor the scriptures cannot the keys of 

be broken^ would rend the caul of 

my heart : and so would that other, Whose sins 

ye remit ^ they are remitted ; but whose sins ye retain^ 

they are retained. Now I saw the apostles to be 

the elders of the city of refuge. Joshua xx. 4. 

Those that they were to receive in, were received 

to life ; but those that they shut out, were to be 

slain by the avenger of blood. 

246. Oh ! one sentence of the scripture did more 
afflict and terrify my mind, I mean 

those sentences that stood against me scripture did 
(as sometimes I thought they every JJJ^^d than L""^ 

one did) more, I say, than an army army of forty 
- P , , ^ , . / thousand mea 

or forty thousand men that might 

have come against me. Woe be to him against 

whom the scriptures bend themselves ! 

247. By this temptation I was made to see more 
into the nature of the promises than ever I was 
before ; for I lying now trembling under the mighty 
hand of God, continually torn and rent by the 
thundering of His justice: this made me with 
careful heart, and watchful eye, with great fearful- 
ness to turn over every leaf, and with much diligence, 
mixed with trembling, to consider every sentence, 
together with its natural force and latitude. 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

248. By this temptation also I was greatly holden 

ofF from my former foolish practice of 

Like & msn 

sinking, I would putting by the word of promise when 

catchatalllsaw .^ ^^^^ .^^^ ^^ ^^^^ , ^^^ ^^^^ 

though I could not suck that comfort and sweetness 
from the promise, as I h^d done at other times ; yet, 
like to a man sinking, I would catch at all I saw : 
formerly I thought I might not meddle with the 
promise, unless I felt its comfort, but now 'twas no 
time thus to do ; the avenger of blood too hardly 
did pursue me. 

249. Now therefore I was glad to catch at tbat 
G dh th word which yet I feared I had no 

bigger mouth to grround or right to own ; and even to 

speak with, than , . , , - , 

I a heart to con- leap mto the bosom or that promise 

ceivewith ^^^^ y^^ J £^^j.g^ ^j^ g^^^ j^g ^^^^^ 

against me. Now also I should labour to take 
the word as God hath laid it down, without 
restraining the natural force of one syllable 
thereof: O! what did I now see in that blessed 
sixth of John : And hini tbat cometh to ;;z<f, / will 
in no wise cast out. John vi. 2)1- Now I began 
to consider with myself, that God hath a bigger 
mouth to speak with, than I had a heart to con- 
ceive with ; I thought also with myself, that 
He spake not His words in haste, or in an un- 
advised heat, but with infinite wisdom and judg- 
ment, and in very truth and faithfulness. 2 Sam. 
iii. 28. 

•38 



SOME GREAT ENCOURAGEMENTS 

250. I should in these days, often in my greatest 
agonies, even flounce towards the pro- 
mise (as the horses do towards sound agonfefTwouid 
ground, that yet stick in the mire) ; fh^e^pJoiSsT'"^^ 
concluding (though as one almost be- 
reft of his wits through fear) on this I will rest and 
stay, and leave the fulfilling of it to the God of 
heaven that made it. Oh! many a 

pull hath my heart had with Satan, ^l^T^^,t^th 
for that blessed sixth of John : I did S^tan for John 
not now, as at other times, look prin- 
cipally for comfort (though, O how welcome would 
it have been unto me !). But now a word, a word 
to lean a weary soul upon, that it might not sink for 
ever ! 'twas that I hunted for. 

251. Yea, often when I have been making to the 
promise, I have seen as if the Lord 

would refuse my soul for ever ; I was Benhadad's 
often as if I had run upon the pikes, 
and as if the Lord had thrust at me, to keep me 
from Him, as with a flaming sword. Then I should 
think of Esther^ who went to petition the king 
contrary to the law. Esther iv. 16. I thought also of 
Benhadad's servants, who went with ropes upon their 
heads to their enemies for mercy, i Kings xx. 31, 
etc. The woman of Canaan also, that would not be 
daunted, though called dog by Christ, Matt. xv. 2 2, etc., 
and the man that went to borrow bread at midnight, 
Luke xi. 5-8, etc., were great encouragements unto me. 

139 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

252. I never saw those heights and depths in 
grace, and love, and mercy, as I saw after this 
temptation ; great sins to draw out great grace ; 
and where guilt is most terrible and fierce, there the 
mercy of God in Christ, when showed to the soul, 
appears most high and mighty. When Job had 
passed through his captivity, be had twice as much 
as he had before. Job xlii. 10. Blessed be God 
for Jesus Christ our Lord. Many other things I 
might here make observation of, but I would be 
brief, and therefore shall at this time omit them ; 
and do pray God that my harms may make others 
fear to offend, lest they also be made to bear the 
iron yoke as I did. 

I had two or three times, at or about my de- 
liverance from this temptation, such 
ItrangTappre- Strange apprehensions of the grace 

hensionsofthe of God, that I could hardly bear up 

grace of God ' ^ ^ 

under it : it was so out of measure 

amazing, when I thought it could reach me, that I 

do think if that sense of it had abode long upon me, 

it would have made me incapable for business. 

253. Now I shall go forward to give you a rela- 
_, - ,, tion of other of the Lord's dealings 

The Lord s , ° 

deaiing-s with with me at sundry other seasons, and 

me when first in ^ , . ^ , , . j 

fellowship at or the temptations 1 then did meet 

Bedford ^^\i\^^\, I shall begin with what I 

met with when first I did join in fellowship with the 
people of God in Bedford. After 1 had propounded 

140 



LORD^S SUPPER EXPERIENCES 

to the church, that my desire was to walk in the 
order and ordinances of Christ with them, and was 
also admitted by them: while I thought of that 
blessed ordinance of Christ, which was His last 
supper with His disciples before His death, that 
scripture. Do this in remembrance of Me^ Luke xxii. 
1 9, was made a very precious word unto me ; for by 
it the Lord did come down upon my conscience with 
the discovery of His death for my sins ; and as I 
then felt, did as if He plunged me in the virtue of 
the same. But behold, I had not been long a 
partaker at that ordinance, but such fierce and sad 
temptations did attend me at all times therein, both 
to blaspheme the ordinance, and to wish some deadly 
thing to those that then did eat thereof: that lest I 
should at any time be guilty of consenting to these 
wicked and fearful thoughts, I was forced to bend 
myself all the while, to pray to God to keep me 
from such blasphemies : and also to cry to God to 
bless the bread and cup to them, as 
it went from mouth to mouth. The lZy\l%lt^^t 
reason of this temptation, I have frombias- 

*^ ' , phemies 

thought since, was, because I did not 

with that reverence that became me at first, approach 

to partake thereof. 

254. Thus I continued for three quarters of a 
year, and could never have rest nor At the last the 
ease: but at the last the Lord came Lord came to me 
in upon my soul with that same scripture, by which 

141 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

my soul was visited before : and after that, I have 
been usually very well and comfortable in the 
partaking of that blessed ordinance ; and have, I 
trust, therein discerned the Lord's body, as broken 
for my sins, and that His precious blood hath been 
shed for my transgressions. 

255. Upon a time I was something inclining to 
I was inclining ^ Consumption, wherewith about the 
to a consumption gpnng I was suddenly and violently 
seized, with much weakness in my outward man; 
insomuch that I thought I could not live. Now 
began I afresh to give myself up to a serious 
examination after my state and condition for the 
future, and of my evidences for that blessed world 
to come : for it hath, I bless the name of God, been 
my usual course, as always, so especially in the day 
of affliction, to endeavour to keep my interest in the 
life to come, clear before mine eyes. 

256. But I had no sooner began to recall to mind 
my former experience of the goodness of God to my 
soul, but there came flocking into my mind an 
innumerable company of my sins and transgressions ; 
amongst which these were at this time most to my 
affliction ; namely, my deadness, dulness, and cold- 
ness in holy duties ; my wanderings of heart, of 
my wearisomeness in all good things, my want of 
love to God, His ways and people, with this at the 
end of all. Are these the fruits of Christianity? 
Are these tokens of a blessed man? 

142 



BETWEEN TWO CONSIDERATIONS 

257. At the apprehensions of these things my 

sickness was doubled upon me ; for 

T • 1 • J My former ex- 

now 1 was sick in my inward man, penence of God's 

my soul was clogged with guilt; f^t^fm^S 

now also was my former experience 

of God's goodness to me, quite taken out of my 

mind, and hid as if they had never been, or seen : 

now was my soul greatly pinched between these two 

considerations, Live I must not, die I 

, 1 r 11 • Now was my 

dare not. ISl ow 1 sunk and rell in soul g:reatly 
my spirit, and was giving up all for ^^"^ 
lost ; but as I was walking up and down in the house, 
as a man in a most woeful state, that word of God 
took hold of my heart, Te are justijied freely by His 
grace, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus. 
Rom. iii. 24. But oh! what a turn it made upon me ! 

258. Now was I as one awaked out of some 

troublesome sleep and dream ; and , 

,. . 1-1 1 T ^ ^^s gfreatly 

hstening to this heavenly sentence, I lig-htened in my 

was as if I had heard it thus ex- "^^" 

pounded to me : Sinner.^ thou thinkest^ that because of 

thy sins and infirmities, I cannot save thy soul ; but behold 

My Son is by Me, and upon Him I look^ and not on thee, 

and shall deal with thee according as I am pleased 

with Him. At this I was greatly lightened in my 

mind, and made to understand, that God could 

justify a sinner at any time ; it was but His looking 

upon Christ, and imputing His benefits to us, and the 

work was forthwith done. 

H3 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

259. And as I was thus in a muse, that scripture 

also came with great power upon my 
l^vISy^an?""^" spirit, Not by works of righteousness 

beautiful in my fjj^f ^^ /,^^^ ^^^^^ J^.^f accordinz tO 
sight ' ^ 

His mercy He hath saved us^ etc. 
2 Tim. i. 9 ; Tit. iii. 5. Now was I got on high, I 
saw myself within the arms of grace and mercy ; 
and though I was before afraid to think of a dying 
hour, yet, now I cried, Let me die : Now death 
was lovely and beautiful in my sight, for I saw We 
shall never live indeed^ till we he gone to the other 
world. Oh ! methought this life is but a slumber, 
in comparison with that above. At this time also I 
saw more in these words, Heirs of God., Rom. viii. 
1 7, than ever I shall be able to express while I live 
in this world: Heirs of God! God Himself is the 
portion of the saints. This I saw and wondered at, 
but cannot tell you what I saw. 

260. Again, as I was at another time very ill and 
The tempter be- weak, all that time also the tempter 
sets me again J5 j ^^3^^ ^^ Strongly (for I find he 

is much for assaulting the soul ; when it begins to 
approach towards the grave, then is his opportunity), 
labouring to hide from me my former experience of 
God's goodness : also setting before me the terrors 
of death, and the iudement of God, 

I ■was as one . . 

dead before insomuch that at this time, through 

death came r r • • r 

my fear or miscarrymg ror ever 

(should I now die), I was as one dead before death 

144 



A GREAT CLOUD OF DARKNESS 

came, and was as if I had felt myself already descend- 
ing into the pit ; methought I said, There were no 
way, but to hell I must: but behold, just as I was 
in the midst of those fears, these words of the 
angel's carrying Lazarus into Abrabam^s bosom 
darted in upon me, as who should say, So it shall 
be with thee when thou dost leave this world. This 
did sweetly revive my spirit, and help me to hope in 
God ; which when I had with comfort mused on a 
while, that word fell with great weight upon my 

mind, death, where is thy stin?; ? 

^ J ! , . \ r^ I became both 

grave, where is thy victory r i Lor. well in body and 

XV. S5' At this I became both well '"i^datonce 
in body and mind at once, for my sickness did presently 
vanish, and I walked comfortably in my work for God 
again. 

261. At another time, though just before I was 
pretty well and savoury in my spirit, yet suddenly 
there fell upon me a great cloud of darkness, which 
did so hide from me the things of God and Christ, 
that I was as if I had never seen or known them in 
my life: I was also so overrun in my soul with a 
senseless heartless frame of spirit, that I could not 
feel my soul to move or stir after grace and life by 
Christ ; I was as if my loins were broken, or as if my 
hands and feet had been tied or bound with chains. 
At this time also I felt some weakness to seize upon 
my outward man, which made still the other afflic- 
tion the more heavy and uncomfortable to me. 
K 145 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

262. After I had been in this condition some 

three or four days, as I was sitting by 
ZeeVe^itci? the fire, I suddenly felt this word to 

scripture, I must sound in my heart, 1 must 70 to Jesus. 
go to Jesus ? * , ^ ' * 

At this my former darkness and 

atheism fled away, and the blessed things of heaven 

were set in my view. While I was on this sudden 

thus overtaken with surprise, Wife (said I), is there 

ever such a scripture, / must go to Jesus ? She said, 

she could not tell ; therefore I sat musing still, to see 

if I could remember such a place : I had not sat above 

two or three minutes, but that came bolting in upon 

me, And to an innumerable company of angels ; and 

withal, Hebrews twelfth, about the mount 5/o«, was 

set before mine eyes. Heb. xii. 22-24. 

263. Then with joy I told my wife, ! now I 

know., I know ! But that night was a 
night *l never g^od night to me, I never had but few 
bettM-"* ^^^ better ; I longed for the company of 

some of God's people, that I might 
have imparted unto them what God had showed me. 
Christ was a precious Christ to my soul that night ; 
I could scarce lie in my bed for joy, and peace, and 
The scriptures triumph, through Christ. This great 
blessed to me glory did not continue upon me until 
or many ays morning, yet the twelfth of the 
Author to the Hebrews, Heb. xii. 22, 23, was a 
blessed scripture to me for many days together after 
this. 

14.6 




BUNYAN FINDS HOPE. 

While Itvason this sudden thus overtaken with surprise. ' Wife; said 
/, ' is there ever such a Scripture, " / must go to Jesus i 



CONCERNING MY PREACHING 

264. The words are these : Te are come to mount 

Sion^ and unto the city of the living -^^^ Lord 

God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to an showed me 

' -^ ' wonderful glory 

innumerable company of angels^ to the in every one of 

general assembly and church of the 
first-born^ which are written in heaven; and to God the 
Judge of all^ and to the spirits of just men made perfect^ 
and to Jesus the Mediator of the New Covenant^ and 
to the blood of sprinklings that speaketh better things 
than that of Abel. Through this blessed sentence 
the Lord led me over and over, first to this word, 
and then to that ; and showed me wonderful glory- 
in every one of them. These words also have oft 
since that time, been great refreshment to my spirit. 
Blessed be God for having mercy on me. 



A brief Account of the Author's Call to the Work of 
the Ministry 

265. And now I am speaking my experience, I 

will in this place thrust in a word 

1 . ^1 God's dealing: 

or two concerning my preaching the ^ith me whUst 

word, and of God's dealing with me JJ^^^^^'"^ *^® 

in that particular also. For after I 

had been about five or six years awakened, and 

helped myself to see both the want and worth of 

Jesus Christ our Lord, and also enabled to venture 

my soul upon Him ; some of the most able among 

the saints with us, I say, the most able for judgment 

147 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

and holiness of life, as they conceived, did perceive 

that God had counted me worthy 

percdve/thaT to understand something of His will 

God had counted j^ His holy and blessed word, and 
me worthy •' ' 

had given me utterance in some 
measure, to express what I saw to others, for 
edification; therefore they desired me, and that with 
much earnestness, that I would be willing, at some- 
times to take in hand, in one of the meetings, to 
speak a word of exhortation unto them. 

266. The which, though at the first it did much 

^^^ ,.. j.^ dash and abash my spirit, yet beins: still 
Atfirstitdid 1 . 1 -^ J IT 

much dash and by them desired and entreated, 1 con- 

myspiri sented to their request, and did twice 

at two several assemblies (but in private), though 

with much weakness and infirmity, discover my gift 

amongst them ; at which they not only seemed to 

be, but did solemnly protest, as in the sight of the 

great God, they were both affected and comforted ; 

and gave thanks to the Father of mercies, for the 

grace bestowed on me. 

267. After this, sometimes, when some of them 

did go into the country to teach, they 

no^tmake^ulfof would also that I should go with 

?ifi[^'''*° them; where, though as yet, I did 

open way ' 70 j i 

not, nor durst not, make use of my 
gift in an open way, yet more privately, still, as I 
came amongst the good people in those places, I did 
sometimes speak a word of admonition unto them 

148 



THE HOLY GHOST AND PREACHING 

also ; the which they, as the other, received with 
rejoicing at the mercy of God to me- ward, professing 
their souls were edified thereby. 

268. Wherefore, to be brief; at last, being still 
desired by the church, after some 

solemn prayer to the Lord, with ticufarl7°(Sled^" 
fasting, I was more particularly called preachme 
forth, and appointed to a more 
ordinary and public preaching of the word, not only 
to and amongst them that believed, but also to offer 
the gospel to those who had not yet received the 
faith thereof; about which time I did evidently find 
in my mind a secret pricking forward thereto ; 
though I bless God, not for desire of vain-glory ; for 
at that time I was most sorely afflicted with the fiery 
darts of the devil, concerning my eternal state. 

269. But yet could not be content, unless I was 

found in the exercise of my gift, unto j ^^^j^ ^^^ ^^ 

which also I was e^reatly animated, content unless I 
. . was found in the 

not only by the continual desires of exercise of my 

the godly, but also by that saying of ^ 

Paul to the Corinthians : I beseech you^ brethren (je 

know the household of Stephanas^ that it is the first 

fruits of Achaia^ and that they have addicted themselves 

to the ministry of the saints^ that ye submit yourselves 

unto such^ and to every one that helpeth with us, and 

laboureth. i Cor. xvi. 15, 16. 

270. By this text I was made to see that the Holy 
Ghost never intended that men who have gifts and 

149 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

abilities, should bury them in the earth, but rather 
did command and stir up such to the exercise of their 
gift, and also did commend those that were apt and 
ready so to do. They have addicted themselves to the 
ministry of the saints. This scripture, in these days, 
did continually run in my mind, to encourage me, 
and strengthen me in this my work for God ; I have 
also been encouraged from several other scriptures 
and examples of the godly, both specified in the 
word, and other ancient histories : Acts viii. 4 and 
xviii. 24, 25, etc.; i Pet. iv. 10; Rom. xii. 6; Foxs 
Acts and Mon. 

271. Wherefore, though of myself of all the saints 
When the ^^^ vcio^t unworthy; yet I, but with 

country under- (Treat fear and tremblins: at the sight 
stood they came °^ , ° . , ° 

to hear by or my own weakness, did set upon 

"° ^^ ^ the work, and did according to my 

gift, and the proportion of my faith, preach that 

blessed gospel that God had showed me in the holy 

word of truth : which when the country understood, 

they came in to hear the word by hundreds, and that 

from all parts, though upon sundry and divers 

accounts. 

272. And I thank God, He gave unto me some 
I had not measure of bowels and pity for their 

preached long souls, which also did Dut me forward 

before some be- , t 1 • 

gantobe to labour, with great diligence and 

earnestness, to find out such a word 

as might, if God would bless, lay hold of, and awaken 

150 




BUNYAN PREACHES TO THE PEOPLE. 

They came in to hear the word by hundreds and that from all parts, 
though upon divers and sundry accounts. 



GOD OWNS ME IN HIS WORK 

the conscience ; in which also the good Lord had 
respect to the desire of His servant ; for I had not 
preached long, before some began to be touched, and 
be greatly afflicted in their minds at the apprehension 
of the greatness of their sin, and of their need of 
Jesus Christ. 

273. But I first could not believe that God should 
speak by me to the heart of any man, , ^^^j^ ^^^ be- 
still counting myself unworthy ; yet ^i^ve that God 

, . T 1111 would speak by 

those who thus were touched, would me to the heart 
love me, and have a particular respect ° any man 
for me ; and though I did put it from me, that they 
should be awakened by me, still they would confess 
it, and affirm it before the saints of God: they 
would also bless God for me (unworthy wretch that 
I am !) and count me God's instrument that showed 
to them the way of salvation. 

274. Wherefore seeing them in both their words 

and deeds to be so constant, and also in , ^ 

' . I began to con- 

tlieir hearts so earnestly pressing after elude it might be 
the knowledge of Jesus Christ, rejoic- 
ing that ever God did send me where they were ; then 
I began to conclude it might be so, that God had 
owned in His work such a foolish one as 1 ; and then 
came that word of God to my heart, with much 
sweet refreshment, The blessing of him that was 
1-eady to perish^ is come upon me ; and 1 caused the 
widow's heart to sing for joy. Job xxix. 13. 

275. At this therefore I rejoiced; yea, the tears 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

of those whom God did awaken by my preaching, 
would be both solace and encouragement to me: 
for I tliought on those sayings, W/jo is Fie then that 
maketh me glad^ hut the same which is made sorry by 
me ? 2 Cor. ii. 2. And again, If I be not an Apostle 
to others^ yet doubtless^ I am unto you : for the seal 
of mine apostleship are ye in the Lord, i Cor. Ix. 2. 
These things, therefore, were as another argument 
unto me, that God had called me to, and stood by 
me in this work. 

276. In my preaching of the word, I took special 
I preached what notice of this One thing, namely, that 
^^^^* the Lord did lead me to begin where 
His word begins with sinners ; that is, to condemn 
all flesh, and to open and allege, that the curse of 
God by the law, doth belong to, and lay hold on all 
men as they come into the world, because of sin. 
Now this part of my work I fulfilled with great sense ; 
for the terrors of the law, and guilt for my transgres- 
sions, lay heavy on my conscience : I preached what I 
felt, what I smartingly did feel ; even that under which 
my poor soul did groan and tremble to astonishment. 

277. Indeed, I have been as one sent to them 

from the dead ; I went myself in 
I have been as . ^ . 

one sent from the chams, to preach to them m chams ; 

^^ and carried that fire in my own con- 

science, that I persuaded them to be aware of. I 
can truly say, and that without dissembling, that 
when I have been to preach, I have gone full of 

Is2 



MY EXPERIENCE AS PREACHER 

guilt and terror, even to the pulpit door, and there 
it hath been taken off, and I have been at liberty 
in my mind until I have done my work ; and 
then immediately, even before 1 could get down the 
pulpit stairs, I have been as bad as I was before ; 
yet God carried me on, but surely with a strong hand, 
for neither guilt nor hell could take me oiF my work. 

278. Thus I went on for the space of two vears, 
crying out ae^ainst men's sins, and ^ ^ 

T • r r ^ i r ■, For two years I 

their fearful state because of them, cried out against 
After which, the Lord came in upon "^^^^^"^^ 
my own soul, with some staid peace and comfort 
through Christ ; for He did give me many sweet dis- 
coveries of His blessed grace through Him ; where- 
fore now I altered in my preaching (for j altered in my 
still I preached what I saw and felt) ; preaching 
now therefore I did much labour to hold forth Jesus 
Christ in all His offices, relations, and benefits unto 
the world ; and did strive also to discover, to con- 
demn, and remove those false supports and props on 
which the world doth both lean, and by them fall 
and perish. On these things also I staid as long as 
on the other. 

279. After this, God led me into something of 
the mystery of the union of Christ ; 

wherefore that I discovered and ^^s^e'^^ortSe 

showed to them also. And, when I union with 

' Chnst 

had travelled through these three 

chief points of the word of God, about the space of 

^53 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

five years or more, I was caught in my present 

practice, and cast into prison, where 
I was caught ^ i • i i • 

and cast into I have lam above as long agam to 

prison confirm the truth by way of suffering, 

as I was before in testifying of it according to the 

scriptures, in a way of preaching. 

280. When I have been in preaching, I thank 
God my heart hath often all the time of this and the 
other exercise, with great earnestness cried to God 
that He would make the word effectual to the salva- 
tion of the soul ; still being grieved lest the enemy 
should take the word away from the conscience, and 
so it should become unfruitful : wherefore I should 
labour to speak the word, as that thereby, if it were 
possible, the sin and person guilty might be par- 
ticularized by it. 

281. And when I have done the exercise, it hath 
gone to my heart, to think the word should now fall 
as rain on stony places ; still wishing from my heart, 
Oh ! that they who have heard me speak this day, 
did but see as I do, what sin, death, hell, and the 
curse of God is ; and also what the grace, and love, 
and mercy of God is, through Christ, to men in 
such a case as they are, who are yet estranged from 
Him. And indeed, I did often say in my heart 
before the Lord, That if to be hanged up presently 
before their eyes^ would be a means to awaken them^ 
and confirm them in the truth ^ I gladly should be 
contented, 

154 



CONTROVERSY AVOIDED 

282. For I have been in my preaching, especially 
when I have been engaged in the 

doctrine of life by Christ, without i^n^enfood" 

works, as if an ansrel of God had my back to en- 

'-' courage me 

stood by at my back to encourage 

me : Oh ! it hath been with such power and heavenly 
evidence upon my own soul, while I have been labour- 
ing to unfold it, to demonstrate it, and to fasten it upon 
the conscience of others ; that I could not be con- 
tented with saying, I believe^ and am sure ; methought 
I was more than sure (if it be lawful to express 
myself) that those things which then I asserted, 
were true. 

283. When I first went to preach the word 
abroad, the doctors and priests of the 

country did open wide against me. I^ts^^^o^^ 
But I was persuaded of this, not to wide against 
render railing for railing ; but to see 
how many of their carnal professors I could con- 
vince of their miserable state by the law, and of 
the want and worth of Christ : for, thought I, 
This shall answer for me in time to come^ when 
they shall be for my hire before their face. Gen. 
XXX. 33. 

284. I never cared to meddle with things that 

were controverted, and in dispute _ , ,, . ^ 

.,,,,<, I meddled not 
among the samts, especially thmgs of with things 

the lowest nature ; yet it pleased me 

much to contend with great earnestness for the 

^55 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

word of faith, and the remission of sins by the death 
and sufferings of Jesus : but I say, as to other things, 
I should let them alone, because I saw they en- 
gendered strife ; and because that they neither in 
doing, nor in leaving undone, did commend us to 
God to be His : besides, I saw my work before me 
did run into another channel, even to carry an 
awakening word ; to that therefore did I stick and 
adhere. 

285. I never endeavoured to, nor durst make use 
, , . . , of, other men's hues, Rom. xv. 18 

I durst not make ' 

use of other (though I condemn not all that do), 

for I verily thought, and found by 
experience, that what was taught me by the word 
and spirit of Christ, could be spoken, maintained, 
and stood to, by the soundest and best estab- 
lished conscience; and though I will not now 
speak all that I know in this matter, yet my ex- 
perience hath more interest in that text of scrip- 
ture, Gal. i. II, 12, than many amongst men are 
aware. 

286. If any of those who were awakened by my 
I counted myself ministry, did after that fall back (as 
Sf°G^od°in°he^*^ sometimes too many did), I can truly 
salvation of say, their loss hath been more to me, 
souls, than t - r r 1 • 1 i 1^ 
being made than it one or my own children, be- 

ChdsdLJ'^^^^ gotten of my own body, had been 
^o*^^^ going to its grave ; I think verily, 

I may speak it without any offence to the Lord, 

156 



UNEXPECTED RESULTS 

nothing has gone so near me as that ; unless it was 
the fear of the loss of the salvation of my own soul. 
I have counted as if I had goodly buildings and 
lordships in those places where my children were 
born ; my heart hath been so wrapped up in the 
glory of this excellent work, that I counted myself 
more blessed and honoured of God by this, than if 
He had made me the emperor of the Christian world, 
or the lord of all the glory of the earth without it ! 
Oh these words ! He which converteth the sinner from 
the error of his ivay^ shall save a soul from death. 
James v. 20. The fruit of the righteous is a tree of 
life; and he that winneth souls is wise. Prov. xi. 30. 
They that be wise shall shine as the brightness of the 
firmament^ and they that turn many to righteousness^ 
as the stars for ever and ever. Dan. xii. 3. For 
what is our hope., or joy^ or crown of rejoicing ? 
Are not even ye in the presence of our Lord Jesus 
Christ at His coming F For ye are our glory and joy. 
I Thes. ii. 19, 20. These, I say, with many others 
of a like nature, have been great refreshments 
to me. 

287. I have observed, that where I have had a 
work to do for God, I have had first, 
as it were, the going of God upon my "Zo^^^t ?did no 
spirit, to desire I might preach there : |°°^' ^^^" ^ ^^ 
I have also observed, that such -axA 
such souls in particular, have been strongly set 
upon my heart, and I stirred up to wish for their 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

salvation; and that these very souls have, aher 
this, been given in as the fruits of my ministry. 
I have observed, that a word cast in, by-the-bye, 
hath done more execution in a sermon, than all that 
was spoken besides: sometimes also, when I have 
thought I did no good, then I did the most of all; 
and at other times, when I thought I should catch 
them, I have fished for nothing. 

288. I have also observed, that where there has 
been a work to do upon sinners, there the devil hath 
begun to roar in the hearts and by the mouths of 
his servants : yea, oftentimes, when the wicked 
world hath raged most, there hath been souls 
awakened by the word : I could instance particulars, 
but I forbear. 

289. My great desire in my fulfilling my ministry 

My desire in my ^^^ ^^ ^^^ ^^^^ ^^^ ^""'^^'^ P^^^^^ 
ministry was to of the Country, even amongst those 

get in the dark , , r ^ rr r 

places of the people that were tarthest olt or pro- 

country fession ; yet not because I could not 

endure the light (for I feared not to show my 

gospel to any) but because I found 
lea^ most after ^Y Spirit did lean most after awaken- 
c^vertiiriwSfk ^"S ^"^ converting work, and the 

word that I carried did lean itself 
most that way also ; Tea^ so have I strived to 
preach the gospel^ not where Christ was named^ lest 
I should build upon another man^s foundation, Rom. 
XV. 20. 

158 



THAT WHICH DELIGHTED ME 

290. In my preaching I have really been in pain, 
and have, as it were, travailed to , , . 

' _ ' ^ In my preaching^ 

bring forth children to God; neither I have really 

, , X 1 • r J 1 r • l^sen in pain to 

could 1 be satisfied unless some fruits bring forth 
did appear in my work. If I were children to God 
fruitless, it mattered not who commended me : but 
if I were fruitful, I cared not who did condemn. 
I have thought of that : Lo ! children are an 
heritage of the Lord ; and the fruit of the womb is His 
reward. — j4s arrows are in the hand of a mighty 
man^ so are children of the youth. Happy is the man 
that hath his quiver full of them : they shall not be 
ashamed., but they shall speak with the enemies in the 
gate. Psalm cxxvii. y^. 

291. It pleased me nothing to see people drink 
in opinions, if they seemed ignorant of Jesus Christ, 
and the worth of their own salvation, sound con- 
viction for sin, especially for unbelief, and a heart set 
on fire to be saved by Christ, with strong breathings 
after a truly sanctified soul : that it was that 
delighted me ; those were the souls I counted 
blessed. 

292. But in this work, as in all other, I had my 
temptations attending me, and that of divers kinds ; 
as sometimes I should be assaulted with great dis- 
couragement therein, fearing that I should not be 
able to speak a word at all to edification ; nay, that 
I should not be able to speak sense unto the people ; 
at which times I should have such a strange faint- 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

ness and strengthlessness seize upon my body, that 
my legs have scarce been able to carry me to the 
place of exercise. 

293. Sometimes again when I have been preaching, 

,,^ ^. I have been violently assaulted with 

Whenpreaching , , n 1 i i 1 

I have been tnougiits or blasphemy, and strongly 

saulted wSh tempted to speak the words with my 

Was4^emy^ mouth before the congregation. I 

have also at some times, even when I 

have begun to speak the word with much clearness, 

evidence, and liberty of speech, yet been, before 

the ending of that opportunity, so blinded and so 

estranged from the things I have been speaking, and 

have been also so straightened in my speech, as to 

utterance before the people, that I have been as if I 

had not known, or remembered what I have been 

about ; or as if my head had been in a bag all the 

time of my exercise. 

294. Again, when as sometimes I have been about 
When about to ^^ preach upon some smart and search- 
Sa?sue^eSed ^"^ portion of the word, I have found 
'What I will the tempter sus^e^est, What I will you 
you preach this ! i 1 - , n^- , m 
This condemns preach this I 1 his condemns yourself ; 
yourse f ^ ^^y^ ^^^^ ^^^ ^^^^^ -^ guilty ; where- 
fore preach not of it at all ; or if you do^ yet so 
mince it^ as to make way for your own escape ; lest 
instead of awakening others^ you lay that guilt 
upon your own soul^ that you will never get from 
under, 

160 



THE EVIL OF MY OWN HEART 

295. But I thank the Lord, I have been kept 
from consenting to these so ho:-rid 
suggestions, and have rather, as r^thS^thS deal 
Sampson, bowed myself with all my ^e Tord ^'cod 
might, to condemn sin and trans- 
gression, wherever I found it; yea, though therein 
also I did bring guilt upon my ov/n conscience : Let 
me die (thought I), with the Philistines^ Judges xvi. 
29, 30, rather than deal corruptly with the blessed 
word of God. Thou that teachest another^ teachest 
thou not thyself ? It is far better that thou do judge 
thyself, even by preaching plainly unto others, 
than that thou, to save thyself, imprison the truth 
in righteousness. Blessed be God for His help also 
in this. 

296. I have also, w^hile found in this blessed work 
of Christ, been often tempted to 

pride and liftings up of heart : and tempTed wfth 
thouerh I dare not say, I have not P"^- and lift- 

rr I'll- ^^^^ ^P °^ heart 

been affected with this, yet truly the 
Lord of His precious mercy, hath so carried it towards 
me, that for the most part I have had but small joy 
to give way to such a thing : for it hath been my 
every day's portion to be let into the evil of my own 
heart, and still made to see such a multitude of 
corruptions and infirmities therein, that it hath 
caused hanging down of the head under all my gifts 
and attainments ; I have felt this thorn in the flesh, 
2 Cor. xii. 8, 9, the very mercy of God to me, 
L i6j 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

297. I have also had, together with this, some 
Some notable notable place or other of the word 

word has come presented before me, which word hath 

to me with some ... 

piercing sentence contained in It some sharp and piercing 

concerning: the . , . , . ^ 

perishing of the sentence concernmg the perishmg of 
*®"^ the soul, notwithstanding gifts and 

parts : as, for instance, that hath been of great use 
to me : Though I speak with the tongues of men and 
angels^ and have not charity^ I am become as sounding 
brass ^ and a tinkling cymbal, i Cor. xiii. 1,2. 

298. A tinkling cymbal is an instrument of music, 
with which a skilful player can make such melodious 
and heart-inflaming music, that all who hear him play, 
can scarcely hold from dancing ; and yet behold the 
cymbal hath not life, neither comes the music from 
it, but because of the art of him that plays there- 
with ; so then the instrument at last may come 
to nought and perish, though in times past such 
music hath been made upon it. 

299. Just thus I saw it was, and will be, with 
them who have gifts, but want saving grace ; they 
are in the hand of Christ, as the cymbal in the hand 
of David: and as David could with the cymbal 
make that mirth in the service of God, as to elevate 
the hearts of the worshippers, so Christ can use 
these gifted men, as with them to affect the souls of 
His people in His church ; yet when He hath done 
all, hang them by, as lifeless, though sounding 
cymbals. 

162 



GRACE BETTERTH AN KNOWLEDGE 

300. This consideration therefore, together with 
some others, were for the most part, as a maul on 
the head of pride, and desire of vain-glory. What, 
thought I, shall I be proud because I am a sound- 
ing brass ? Is it so much to be a fiddle ? hath not 
the least creature that hath life, more of God in it 

than these ? Besides, I knew 'twas . ...,. _,_ ^ 
' A little grace, a 

love should never die, but these must little love, a little 

, . , -. 111 of the true fear 

cease and vanish : so I concluded, a of God is better 

little grace, a little love, a little of the ^^^ ^ ^'^^ 

true fear of God, is better than all the gifts : yea, 

and I am fully convinced of it, that it is possible for 

souls that can scarce give a man an answer, but with 

great confusion as to method ; I say, it is possible 

for them to have a thousand times more grace, 

and so to be more in the love and favour of 

the Lord, than some who by the virtue of the 

gift of knowledge, can deliver themselves like 

angels. 

301. Thus therefore I came to perceive, that 
though gifts in themselves were good, ^ifts in them- 
to the thine: for which they are selves were 

J.J ^ . , 1-r • r good; yet empty 

designed, to wit, the edification or without the 
others ; yet empty, and without power soulif they^be * 
to save the soul of him that hath ^°°® 
them, if they be alone : neither are they, as so, any 
sign of a man's state to be happy, being only a dis- 
pensation of God to some, of whose improvement, or 
non-improvement, they must when a little love more 

163 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

IS over, give an account to Him that is ready to 
judge the quick and the dead. 

302. This showed me too, that gifts being alone, 
were dangerous, not in themselves, but because of 
those evils that attend them that have them, to wit, 
pride, desire of vain glory, self-conceit, etc., all which 
were easily blown up at the applause and commenda- 
tion of every unadvised Christian, to the endanger- 
ing of a poor creature to fall into the condemnation 
of the devil. 

303. I saw therefore that he that hath gifts, had 
need be let into a sight of the nature of them, to wit, 
that they come short of making of him to be in a 
truly saved condition, lest he rest in them, and so fall 
short of the grace of God. 

304. He hath cause also to. walk humbly with 
God and be little in his own eyes, and to remember 
withal, that his gifts are not his own, but the 
churches ; and that by them he is made a servant to 
the church ; and he must also give at last an account 
of his stewardship unto the Lord Jesus, and to give 
a good account will be a blessed thing. 

305. Let all men therefore prize a little with the 
fear of the Lord (gifts indeed are desirable), but yet 
great grace and small gifts are better than great gifts 
and no grace. It doth not say, the Lord gives gifts 
and glory, but the Lord gives grace and glory ; and 
blessed is such an one, to whom the Lord gives grace, 
true grace ; for that is a certain forerunner of glory. 

164 




BUNYAN IS LOOKED ON WITH SUSPICION. 

// began therefore to be rtimoured up and dozi'ti among the people that I ivas 
a witch, a Jesuit, a highivayman, and the like. 



SLANDERS AND REPROACHES 

306. But when Satan perceived that his thus 
tempting and assaulting of me, would gatan stirs up 
not answer his design: to wit, to the minds of the 

, , . . , , . ignorant and 

overthrow the mmistry, and make it malicious to load 
ineffectual, as to the ends thereof: "^^ with slanders 
then he tried another way, which was, to stir up the 
minds of the ignorant and malicious to load me with 
slanders and reproaches : now therefore I may say, 
that what the devil could devise, and his instruments 
invent, was whirled up and down the country against 
me, thinking, as I said, that by that means they 
should make my ministry to be abandoned. 

307. It began therefore to be 

rumoured up and down among the witdf, a jesuS, 
people, that I was a witch, a Jesuit, a ^^ ^ highway- 
highwayman, and the like. 

308. To all which, I shall only say, God knows that 
I am innocent. But as for mine accusers, let them 
provide themselves to meet me before the tribunal of 
the Son of God, there to answer for all these things 
(with all the rest of their iniquities) unless God shall 
give them repentance for them, for the which I pray 
with all my heart. 

309. But that which was reported with the 

boldest confidence, was, that I had my ,^ 

. , . •'It was reported 

misses^ my whores^ my bastards ; yea, that I had two 

two wives at once, and the like. Now ^^^®^ ^ °°^® 

these slanders (with the others) I glory in, because 

but slanders, foolish or knavish lies, and falsehoods 

165 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

cast upon me by the devil and his seed ; and, should 
I not be dealt with thus wickedly by the world, I 
should want one sign of a saint, and a child of God. 
Blessed are ye (said the Lord Jesus) when men shall re- 
vile you and persecute you^ and shall say all manner of evil 
against you falsely for My sake ; rejoice and be exceeding 
glad^for great is your reward in heaven^ for so persecuted 
they the prophets which were before you. Matt. iv. ii. 

310. These things therefore, upon mine own 

account, trouble me not; no, though 
Joubfe mefot. they were twenty times more than 

I have a g-ood ^hev are. I have a ejood conscience, 
conscience / " m r 

and whereas they speak evil or me, 

as an evil-doer, they shall be ashamed that falsely 

accuse my good conversation in Christ. 

311. So then, what shall I say to those who have 
thus bespattered me ? Shall I threaten them ? Shall 
I chide them? Shall I flatter them? Shall I entreat 
them to hold their tongues ? No, not I. Were it not 
for that these things make them ripe for damnation, 
that are the authors and abettors, I would say unto 
them. Report it^ because 'twill increase my glory. 

312. Therefore I bind these lies and slanders to 

me as an ornament ; it belongs to my 
L^sl^'derVl? Christian profession to be vilified, 
measanorna- slandered, reproached and reviled; 

and since all this is nothing else, as 
my God and my conscience do bear me witness, I 
rejoice in reproaches for Christ's sake. 

166 



MY FOES MISS THEIR MARK 

313. I also call all these fools or knaves, that have 
thus made it any thing of their business to affirm 
any of the things afore-named of me ; namely, 
That I have been naught with other women, or the 
like. When they have used the utmost of their 
endeavours, and made the fullest inquiry that they 
can, to prove against me truly, that there is any 
woman in heaven, or earth, or hell, that can say, 
I have at any time, in any place, by day or night, so 
much as attempted to be naught with them ; and 
speak I thus to beg my enemies into a good esteem 
of me ? No, not 1:1 will in this beg belief of no 
man : believe or disbelieve me in this, all is a-case 
to me. 

314. My foes have missed their mark in this 
their shooting at me : I am not the ^^ ^^^^ j^^^^ 
man : I wish that they themselves be missed their 
guiltless. If all the fornicators and their shooting at 
adulterers in England were hanged up ^^ 

by the neck till they be dead, John Bunyan^ the 
object of their envy, would be still alive and well. 
I know not whether there be such a thing as a 
woman breathing under the copes of the whole 
heaven, but by their apparel, their children, or by 
common fame, except my wife. 

315. And in this I admire the wisdom of God, 
that He made me shy of women from q^^ made me 
my first conversion until now. Those shy of women 
know, and can also bear me witness, with whom I 

167 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

have been most intimately concerned, that it is a 

rare thing to see me carry it pleasant towards a 

woman : the common salutation of women I abhor ; 

'tis odious to me in whomsoever I see it. Their 

company alone, I cannot away with ; I seldom so 

much as touch a woman's hand ; for I think these 

things are not so becoming me. When I have seen 

good men salute those women that they have visited, 

or that have visited them, I have at times made my 

objection against it ; and when they have answered, 

that it was but a piece of civility, I have told them, 

it is not a comely sight. Some indeed have 

urged the holy kiss ; but then I have asked why 

they made baulks ? why they did salute the most 

handsome, and let the ill-favoured go ? Thus, 

how laudable soever such things have been in the 

eyes of others, they have been unseemly in my 

sight. 

316. And now for a wind-up in this matter, I 

^ , , , calling not only men. but ancrels, to 

God has been o .in'- n 

merciful to me, prove me guilty of havmg carnally to 
and has kept me 1 • 1 • r 

do With any woman save my wife : 

nor am I afraid to do it a second time ; knowing that 

it cannot oiFend the Lord in such a case, to call God 

for a record upon my soul, that in these things I am 

innocent. Not that I have been thus kept, because 

of any goodness in me, more than any other; but 

God has been merciful to me, and has kept me ; to 

whom I pray that He will keep me still, not only 

168 



A LONG IMPRISONMENT 

from this, but every evil way and work, and preserve 
me to His heavenly kingdom. Amen. 

2,iy. Now as Satan laboured by reproaches and 
slanders, to make me vile among my countrymen ; 
that, if possible, my preaching might be made of 
none efFect ; so there was added hereto, a long and 
tedious imprisonment, that thereby I might be 
frightened from my service for Christ, and the 
world terrified, and made afraid to hear me preach ; 
of which I shall in the next place give you a brief 
account. 

A Brief Account of the Author's 
Imprisonment 

318. Having made profession of the glorious 
gospel of Christ a long time, and 

preached the same about five years, I becausTm^^^*^ 

was apprehended at a meetinc^ of good sureties would 

/\ , r 1 not be bound 

people m the country (among whom, that I should 

had they let me alone, I should have TeforetSepTopte 

preached that day, but they took me 
away from amongst them), and had me before a 
justice; who, after I had offered security for my 
appearing at the next sessions, yet committed me, 
because my sureties would not consent to be bound 
that I should preach no more to the people. 

319. At the sessions after I was indicted for an 
upholder and maintainer of unlawful assemblies and 

169 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

conventicles, and for not conforming to the national 
worship of the church of England ; and after some 

conference there with the justices, 
pdIon,^whereI they taking my plain dealing with 
yeare^"^^^^^^^ them for a confession, as they termed 

it, of the indictment^ did sentence me to 

a perpetual banishment^ because I refused to conform. 

So being again delivered up to the jailer's hands, I 

was had home to prison, and there have lain now 

complete twelve years, waiting to see what God 

would suffer these men to do with me. 

320. In which condition I have continued with 

much content, through grace, but 
I have received , ^ v i ^ • 1 

much conviction, have met With many turnmgs and 

the Lord^ Satan, and my own corrup- 
tions ; by all which (glory be to Jesus Christ) I 
have also received among many things, much con- 
viction, instruction, and understanding, of which 
at large I shall not here discourse ; only give you a 
hint or two, a word that may stir up the godly to 
bless God, and to pray for me ; and also to take 
encouragement, should the case be their own — not 
to fear what man can do unto them. 

321. I never had in all my life so great an inlet 
into the word of God as now : those scriptures that 
I saw nothing in before, are made in this place 
and state to shine upon me ; Jesus Christ also 
was never more real and apparent than now; here 

170 



SCRIPTURE CONSOLATIONS 

I have seen and felt Him indeed : Oh ! that 

word, We have not preached unto you 

J 1 ' 1 r 1 1 T» I liave seen and 

cunningly devised jables^ 2 ret. felt that Jesus 

i. 1 6, and that, God raised Christ nevlfnJ^rlreal 
from the dead^ and gave Him glory ^ and apparent 
that our faith and hope might he in 
God^ I Pet. i. 2 1, were blessed words unto me in 
this my imprisoned condition. 

322. These three or four scriptures also have 

been great refreshments in this con- 

j . . . T 1 • T 1 I have been able 

dition to me: John xiv. 1-4; John toMaughat 

xvi. 2,r, Col. iii. 3, 4; Heb. xii. tt^H.r' 

22-24. So that sometimes when I the horse nor his 

have been in the savour of them, I 

have been able to laugh at destruction, and to fear 

neither the horse nor his rider, I have had sweet 

sights of the forgiveness of my sins in this place, and 

of my being with Jesus in another world : Oh ! the 

mount Sion^ the heavenly Jerusalem^ the innumerable 

company of angels^ and God the Judge of all ^ and the 

spirits of just men made perfect^ and Jesus^ have been 

sweet unto me in this place : I have seen that here, 

that I am persuaded I shall never, while in this 

world, be able to express : I have seen a truth in 

this scripture, Whom having not seen^ ye love; in 

whom^ though now you see Him not, yet believing^ ye 

rejoice with joy unspeakable^ and full of glory, i Pet. 

i. 8. 

323. I never knew what it was for God to stand 

171 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

by me at all turns, and at every ofFer of Satan to 

^ ^ ^ , ^ afflict me, etc., as I have found Him 
God has stood . ' • , . i 

by me at all Since I came in hither : for look how 

fears have presented themselves, so 

have supports and encouragements ; yea, when I have 

started, even as it were, at nothing else but my 

shadow, yet God, as being very tender of me, hath 

not suffered me to be molested, but 
I have often said, i i • i • i 

were it lawful, I would With One scripture or another, 

g^atirtlonhle Strengthen me against all; insomuch 
that I have often said, were it lawful^ 
I could pray for greater trouble^ for the greater comfort' s 
sake. EccL vii. 14; 2 Cor. i. 5. 

324. Before I came to prison, I saw what was 
For a year coming, and had especially two con- 

before I was siderations warm upon my heart ; the 

imprisoned I i -i 1 

seldom prayed first was, how to be able to encounter 

asked for death, should that be here my portion, 

patience Yqx the first of these, that scripture, 

Col. i. II, was great information to me, namely, to 
pray to God to he strengthened with all mighty according 
to His glorious power^ unto all patience and long- 
sneering with joyfulness, I could seldom go to 
prayer before I was imprisoned ; but for not so little 
as a year together, this sentence, or sweet petition 
would, as it were, thrust itself into my mind, and 
persuade me, that if ever I would go through long- 
suffering, I must have all patience, especially if I 
would endure it joyfully. 

172 



RESIGNING EARTHLY THINGS 

325. As to the second consideration, that saying 

(2 Cor. i. o) was of ereat use to 

n^ J .1 ? r J ,1 If I would suffer 

me, But we bad the sentence of death rig-htly I must 

in ourselves^ that we should not trust in sInten?e^of death 

ourselves, but in God, which raiseth the "P°" ^^^ earthly 
J J ^ A ' . things 

dead. By this scripture I was made to 

see, That if ever I would sulTer rightly, I must first pass 

a sentence of death upon every thing that can properly 

be called a thing of this life, even to reckon myself, 

my wife, my children, my health, my enjoyments, and 

all as dead to me, and myself as dead to them. 

326. The second was to live upon God that is 
invisible, as Paul said in another place ; the way 
not to faint is. To look not on the things that are seen, 
hut at the things that are not seen ; for the things that 
are seen are temporal, but the things that are not seen 
are eternal. And thus I reasoned with myself, if I 
provide only for a prison, then the whip comes at 
unawares ; and so doth also the pillory : Again, if 
I only provide for these, then I am not fit for 
banishment. Further, if I conclude that banishment 
is the worst, then if death comes, I am surprised : 
so that I see, the best way to go through sufferings, 
is to trust in God through Christ, as touching the 
world to come ; and as touching this world, to count 
the grave my house, to make my bed in darkness ; to 
say to corruption^ Thou art my father^ and to the 
worm^ Thou art my mother and sister: that is, to 
familiarize these things to me. 

^7i 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

327. But notwithstanding these helps, I found 

myself a man and compassed with in- 
I found myself a ^ • • i • - i -r 

man compassed iirmities ; the partmg with my wire 
with infirmities ^^^ ^^^^ children, hath often been to 

me in this place, as the pulling the flesh from the 
bones, and that not only because I am somewhat too 
fond of these great mercies, but also because I 
should have often brought to my mind the many 
hardships, miseries, and wants that my poor 
family was like to meet with, should I be 
taken from them, especially my poor blind child, 
who lay nearer my heart than all besides : Oh ! 
the thoughts of the hardship I thought my poor 
blind one might go under, would break my 
heart to pieces. 

328. Poor child! thought I, what sorrow art thou 

^^ ^^ ^^ like to have for thy portion in this 

The thought my , , 

poor blind child world ! Thou must be beaten, must 

wcSid breaJk my beg, suffer hunger, cold, nakedness, 

^^^^ and a thousand calamities, though I 

cannot now endure the wind should blow upon thee. 

But yet recalling myself, thought I, I must venture 

you all with God, though it goeth to the quick to 

leave you : Oh ! I saw in this condi- 
I was as a man ^ 

who was pulling tion I was as a man who was pulling 

down his house , i-i ^uujru' 

upon his wife and down his house upon the head or nis 
children ^jf^ ^^^ children ; yet, thought I, I 

must do it, I must do it : and now I thought on those 
two milch kine that were to carry the ark of God into 

^74 





BUNYAN PARTING WITH HIS WiFE AND CHILDREN. 

Because I should have often bi'ought to my mind the many hardships, 
mise?'ies, and wants that ?ny poor family was like to meet with^ should I 
be taken from, them, especially my poor blind child. 



VENTURING ALL FOR GOD 

another country^ and to leave their calves behind them. 
I Sam. vi. 10-12. 

329. But that which helped me in this tempta- 
tion, was divers considerations, of ,^^ , ^ .^ 

which, three in special here I will I will cause the 
^1 r ^ ^1 -J ^- enemy to entreat 

name, the nrst was the consideration thee well in the 
of these two scriptures, Leave thy time of evil' 
fatherless children^ I will preserve them alive ^ and 
let thy widows trust in me : and again. The Lord 
said^ Verily it shall be well with thy remnant^ verily^ 
1 will cause the enemy to entreat thee well in the 
time of evil ^ and in time of affliction. Jer. xlix. 11 ; 

XV. II. 

330. I had also this consideration, that if I should 
not venture all for God, I engaged God to take care 
of my concernments : but if I forsook Him and His 
ways, for fear of any trouble that should come to 
me or mine, then I should not only falsify my pro- 
fession, but should count also that my concernments 
were not so sure, if left at God's feet, whilst I stood 
to and for His name, as they would be if they were 
under my own care, though with the denial of the 
way of God. This was a smarting consideration, 
and as spurs unto my flesh. That scripture also 
greatly helped it to fasten the more upon me, where 
Christ prays against Judas, that God w^ould dis- 
appoint him in his selfish thoughts, which moved him 
to sell his Master. Pray read it soberly; Psalm 
cix. 6-8, etc. 

^75 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

331. I had also another consideration, and that 

,^ ^ ^ :, e was, the dread of the torments of 
I had a dread of , ,, 

the torments of hell, which I was sure they must par- 
take of that for fear of the cross, do 
shrink from their profession of Christ, His words and 
laws before the sons of men : I thought also of the 
glory that He had prepared for those that in faith, 
I thought also ^nd love, and patience, stood to His 
of the glory of ways before them. These things, I 
forthosewho say, have helped me, when the 
ways before the thoughts of the misery that both 
sons of men myself and mine, might for the sake 

of my profession be exposed to, hath lain pinching 
on my mind. 

332. When I have indeed conceited that I might 
be banished for my profession, then I liave thought 
of that scripture : They were stoned^ they were 
sawn asunder^ were tempted^ were slain with the 
sword^ they wandered about in sheep-skins^ and goat- 
skins, being destitute, afflicted, tormetited, of whom the 
world was not worthy ; for all they thought they 
were too bad to dwell and abide amongst them. I 
have also thought of that saying, the Holy Ghost 
witnesseth in every city, that bonds and afflictions abide 
me. I have verily thought that my soul and /'/ 
have sometimes reasoned about the sore and sad 
estate of a banished and exiled condition, how they 
were exposed to hunger, to cold, to perils, to 
nakedness, to enemies, and a thousand calamities; 

176 



SATAN LAID HARD AT ME 

and at last, it may be, to die in a ditch, like a poor 
and desolate sheep. But I thank God, hitherto I 
have not been moved by these most delicate reason- 
ings, but have rather, by them, more approved my 
heart to God. 

2,2,2t' I '^'^^l ^^^^ 1^^ ^ pretty business : — I was 
once above all the rest, in a very sad j ^jj ^^j, ^^^ ^ 
and low condition for many weeks ; pretty business 
at which time also, I being but a young prisoner, 
and not acquainted with the laws, had this lying 
much upon my spirits, that my imprisonment might end 
at the gallows for ought that I could tell. Now there- 
fore Satan laid hard at me, to beat me out of heart, by 

sue^Gfestiner thus unto me : But how 

-r L ' J ^ , ^- Ihadthislyinff 

//, when you come indeed to aie^ you much upon my 

should be in this condition ; that is, as fmpSonment"^^ 

not to savour the things of God, nor ^^g^^ ^"^ at the 

to have any evidence upon your soul 

for a better state hereafter ? (for indeed at that 

time all the things of God were hid from my 

soul). 

334. Wherefore, when I at first began to think 

of this, it was a great trouble to me ; 

for I thought with myself, that in t'oX'^thTpale 

the condition I now was in, I was not face and totter- 

' ing knees 

fit to die, neither indeed did I think 

I could, if I should be called to it ; besides, I 

thought with myself, if I should make a scrambling 

shift to clamber up the ladder, yet I should either 

M 177 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

with quaking, or other symptoms of fainting, give 
occasion to the enemy to reproach the way of God 
and His people for their timorousness. This, there- 
fore, lay with great trouble upon me, for methought 
I was ashamed to die with a pale face, and tottering 
knees, in such a cause as this. 

335' Wherefore I prayed to God that He would 
I prayed to God comfort me, and give me strength to 

for comfort and do and suiTer me what He should call 
streng^ - 

me to ; yet no comfort appeared, but 

all continued hid : I was also at this time, so really 

possessed with the thought of death, that oft I was 

as if I was on a ladder with the rope about my neck ; 

only this was some encouragement to me ; I thought 

I might now have an opportunity to speak my last 

words to a multitude, which I thought would come 

to see me die ; and, thought I, if it must be so, if 

God will but convert one soul by my very last 

words, I shall not count my life thrown away, nor 

lost. 

2^6. But yet all the things of God were kept 

Thus was I ^^^ °^ ^y ^^g^^ ^^^ ^^^^^ ^^^ tempter 

tossed for many followed me with, But whither micst 
weeks 

you go when you die ? what will he- 
come of you / where will you he found in another 
world ? what evidence have you for heaven and glory ^ 
and an inheritance among them that are sanctified ? 
Thus was I tossed for many weeks, and knew not 
what to do; at last this consideration fell with 

178 



A FIXED RESOLUTION 

weight upon me, that it was for the word and 
way of God that I was in this condition^ wherefore 
1 was engaged not to flinch an hair's breadth 
from it. 

2,;^y. I thought also, that God might choose 
whether He would give me comfort 
now, or at the hour of death ; but I oifSd^vef tu?mg 
might not therefore choose whether ^ftiJ chSst^^*^ 
I would hold my profession or no : I 
was bound, but He was free ; yea, 'twas my duty to 
stand to His word, whether He would ever look upon 
me or save me at the last : wherefore, thought I, 
save the point being thus, I am for going on, and 
venturing my eternal state with Christ, whether I 
have comfort here or no ; if God doth not come in, 
thought I, / will leap off the ladder even blindfold into 
eternity^ sink or swim^ come heaven., come hell^ Lord 
Jesus ^ if Thou wilt catch me., do ; if not ^ 1 will venture 
for Thy name. 

338. I was no sooner fixed in this resolution, but 
the word dropped upon me. Doth Job j ^^ resolved 

serve God for nought F As if the (God giving me 

, ° strength) never 

accuser nad said, Lord^ Job ts no to deny my pro- 

upright man^ he serves Thee for bye- ®®^^°^ 

respects : hast Thou not made an hedge about him., etc. 

But put forth now Thine hand., and touch all that he 

hath., and he will curse Thee to Thy face. How now ! 

thought I, is this the sign of an upright soul, to 

desire to serve God, when all is taken from him? 

179 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

Is he a godly man that will serve God for nothing, 
rather than give out ! Blessed be God ! then I hope 
I have an upright heart, for I am resolved (God 
giving me strength) never to deny my profession, 
though I have nothing at all for my pains : and as 
I was thus considering, that scripture was set before 
me : Psalm xliv. 1 2, etc. 

339. Now was my heart full of comfort ; for I 
My heart filled ^^ped it was sincere: I would not 
with comfort h^ve been without this trial for much ; 
I am comforted every time I think of it, and I hope 
I shall bless God for ever, for the teaching I have 
had by it. Many more of the dealings towards 
me I might relate. But these out of the spoils won in 
battle I have dedicated to maintain the house of God, 
I Chron. xxvi. 27. 



The Conclusion 

I. Of all the temptations that ever I met with in 
my life, to question the being of God, and truth 
of His gospel is the worst, and the worst to be 
borne ; when this temptation comes, it takes away 
my girdle from me, and removeth the foundation 
from under me : Oh ! I have often thought of 
that word. Have your loins girt about with truth; 
and of that, When the foundations are destroyed^ 
what can the righteous do ? 

i8q 



CONCLUDING REFLECTIONS 

2. Sometimes, when after sin committed, I have 
looked for sore chastisement from sometimes, 

the hand of God, the very next that T^^^n I have 

' ^ •' been comforted, 

I have had from Him, hath been the I have called 
, . r T T o • myself a fool for 

discovery of His grace. Sometimes, sinking under 

when I have been comforted, I have *^o"^^® 

called myself a fool for my so sinking under trouble. 

And then again, when I have been cast down, I 

thought I was not wise, to give such way to comfort ; 

with such strength and weight have both these 

been upon me. 

3. I have wondered much at this one thing, that 
though God doth visit my soul with never so blessed 
a discovery of Himself, yet I have found again, that 
such hours have attended me afterwards, that I have 
been in my spirit so filled with darkness, that I could 
not so much as once conceive what that God and. 
that comfort was, with which I have been refreshed. 

4. I have sometimes seen more in a hue of the 

Bible, than I could well tell how to 

, , . , I have seen more 

stand under; and yet at another in a line of the 

time, the whole Bible hath been to fouldweUteU 

me as dry as a stick; or rather, my how to stand 

heart hath been so dead and dry 

unto it, that I could not conceive the least dram of 

refreshment, though I have looked it all over. 

5. Of all fears, they are best that are made by 
the blood of Christ; and of all joy, that is the 
sweetest that is mixed with mourning over Christ: 

181 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

Oh! it is a goodly thing to be on our knees, with 
Christ in our arms, before God : I hope I know 
something of these things. 

6. I find to this day seven abominations in my 

heart: i. Inclining to unbehef; 2. 
I find seven o i i 1 r 1 1 1 

abominations in Duddenly to rorget the love and 

my heart mercy that Christ manifesteth ; 3. 

A leaning to the works of the law ; 4. Wanderings 

and coldness in prayer; 5. To forget to watch for 

that I pray for ; 6. Apt to murmur because I have 

no more, and yet ready to abuse what I have ; 7. I 

can do none of those things which God commands 

me, but my corruptions will thrust in themselves. 

When I would do good, evil is present with 

me. 

7. These things I continually see and feel, and 
am afflicted and oppressed with, yet the wisdom of 
God doth order them for my good ; i . They make 
me abhor myself; 2. They keep me from trusting 
my heart ; 3. They convince me of the insufHciency 
of all inherent righteousness ; 4. They show me 
the necessity of flying to Jesus ; 5. They press me 
to pray unto God ; 6. They show me the need I have 
to watch and be sober; 7. And provoke me to 
pray unto God, through Christ, to help me, and 
carry me through this world. 



182 



A WARRANT ISSUED 



A Relation of my Imprisonment in the 
Month of November 1660 

When, by the good hand of my God, I had for 
five or six years together, without any interruption, 
freely preached the blessed gospel of our Lord Jesus 
Christ; and had also, through His blessed grace, 
some encouragement by His blessing thereupon ; the 
devil, that old enemy of man's salvation, took his 
opportunity to inflame the hearts of his vassals 
against me, insomuch that at the last, I was laid out 
for by the warrant of a justice, and was taken and 
committed to prison. The relation thereof is as 
followeth : — 

Upon the 12th of this instant, November 1660, I 
was desired by some of the friends j ^^ ^^ Samsell, 
in the country to come to teach at Beds., to teach 
Samsell^ by Harlington, in Bedfordshire. To whom I 
made a promise, if the Lord permitted, to be with 
them on the time aforesaid. The justice hearing 
thereof (whose name is Mr Francis IVingaie), forth- 
with issued out his warrant to take me, and bring 
me before him, and in the meantime to keep a very 
strong watch about the house where the meeting 
should be kept, as if we that were to meet together 
in that place did intend to do some fearful business, 
to the destruction of the country ; when alas ! the 
constable, when he came in, found us only with our 

183 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

Bibles in our hands, ready to speak and hear the 
word of God ; for we were just about to begin our 
exercise. Nay, we had begun in prayer for the bless- 
ing of God upon our opportunity, intending to have 
preached the word of the Lord unto them there 
present : ^ but the constable coming in prevented us. So 

that I was taken and forced to depart 
I was taken, but , -r. i i t i • i i 

had I been the room. But had 1 been mmded to 

Xtfthe^^''^ have played the coward, I could have 

coward, I could escaped and kept out of his hands. 
have escaped ^ ^ 

For when I was come to my friend's 

house, there was whispering that that day I 

should be taken, for there was a warrant out to 

take me ; which when my friend heard, he being 

somewhat timorous, questioned whether we had 

best have our meeting or not ; and whether it might 

not be better for me to depart, lest they should take 

me and have me before the justice, and after that 

send me to prison (for he knew better than I what 

spirit they were of, living by them) : to whom I 

said, No, by no means, I will not stir, neither will I 

have the meeting^ dismissed for this. 
Come, beofgfood r j i, i . 

cheer ; let us not Come, be or good cheer ; let us 

not be daunted ; our cause is good, 

we need not be ashamed of it ; to preach God's 

Word, is so good a work, that we shall be well re- 

^ The text from which he Intended to preach was, Doth thou 
believe on the Son of God? Jn. ix. 35. See Preface to his 
Confession of Faith, 

184 



RESOLVED TO KEEP THE MEETING 

warded, if we suffer for that ; or to this purpose — 
(But as for my friend, I think he was more afraid 
of me, than of himself.) After this I walked into 
the close, where I somewhat seriously considering 
the matter, this came into my mind. That I had 
showed myself hearty and courageous in my preach- 
ing, and had, blessed be grace, made it my business 
to encourage others; therefore, 
thought I, if I should now run, thought l/if I 

J 1 •*. '11 u^ ^C o should now run, 

and make an escape, it will be or a it will be of a 
very ill savour in the country. For [he^coi^tS*"^ "^ 
what will my weak and newly-con- 
verted brethren think of it, but that I was not so 
strong in deed as I was in word? Also I feared 
that if I should run now there was a warrant 
out for me, I might by so doing make them 
afraid to stand, when great words only should 
be spoken to them. Besides I thought, that seeing 
God of His mercy should choose me ^ , ^„. 

to go upon the forlorn hope in this mercy had 

. . , 1 r ^ chosen me as the 

country; that is, to be the first, that forlorn hope in 

should be opposed, for the gospel ; *^^ country 

if I should fly, it might be a discouragement to the 

whole body that might follow after. And further, 

I thought the world thereby would take occasion 

at my cowardliness, to have blasphemed the gospel, 

and to have had some ground to suspect worse of me 

and my profession, than I deserved. These things 

with others considered by me, I came in again to 

1 85 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

the house, with a full resolution to keep the meet- 
ing, and not to go away, though I could have been 
gone about an hour before the officer apprehended 
me ; but I would not ; for I was resolved to see the 
utmost of what they could say or do unto me. For 
blessed be the Lord, I knew of no evil that I had 
said or done. And so, as aforesaid, I begun the 
meeting. But being prevented by 
raeeing, but the the constable's coming in with his 
w°?htSwaT^ warrant to take me, I could not 

rant, so I could proceed. But before I went away, 
not proceed 

I spake some few words of counsel 

and encouragement to the people, declaring to them, 

that they saw we were prevented of our opportunity 

to speak and hear the Word of God, and were like 

to suffer for the same; desiring them that they 

would not be discouraged, for it was a mercy to 

suffer upon so good account. For we might have 

been apprehended as thieves or murderers, or for 

other wickedness ; but blessed be God it was not 

so, but we suffer as Christians for well doing : and 

we had better be the persecuted, than the perse- 

_^ , , , cutors, etc. But the constable and 
The constable .' , 

and the justice's the justice's man waiting on us, 

man would not , , , . • 1 1 i i j 

be quiet till they wouJd not be at quiet till they had 
had me away ^^ ^^^^ ^^^ ^^^^ ^^ departed the 

house. But because the justice was not at home 
that day, there was a friend of mine engaged for 
me to bring me to the constable on the morrow 

i86 




BUNYAN BEFORE JUSTICE WiNGATE. 

At which words y he ivas in a chafe, as it appeared ; for he said that he 
would break the neck of our ineetings. 



* MY CALLING/ AND THE LAW 

morning. Otherwise the constable must have 
charged a watch with me, or have secured me some 
other way, my crime was so great. So on the next 
morning we went to the constable, and so to the 
justice.^ He asked the constable 
what we did, where we was met mombig^we 
together, and what we had with us ? ^^^^^^ *^® 
I trow, he meant whether we had 
armour or not; but when the constable told him 
that there were only met a few of us together to 
preach and hear the Word, and no sign of anything 
else, he could not well tell what to say : yet because 
he had sent for me, he did adventure to put out 
a few proposals to me, which were to this effect, 
namely, What I did there? And why I did not 
content myself with following my calling? for it 
was against the law, that such as I should be 
admitted to do as I did. 

John Bunyan. To which I answered, That the 
intent of my coming thither, and to 
other places, was to instruct, and wasto^Sstruft 
counsel people to forsake their sins, peo^pletTforsake 
and close in with Christ, lest they sin and accept 
did miserably perish; and that I 
could do both these without confusion (to wit), 
follow my calling, and preach the Word also. 

At which words, he^ was in a chafe, as it 

1 Justice Wingate. 2 jj,u^ 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

appeared; for he said that he would break the 
neck of our meetings. 

Bun. I said, It may be so. Then he wished me 
to get sureties to be bound for me, or else he 
would send me to the jail. 

My sureties being ready, I called them in, and 
when the bond for my appearance 
should not leave "^^s made, he told them, that they 
Ww-d^of God ^^^ bound to keep me from preach- 
ing ; and that if I did preach, their 
bonds would be forfeited. To which I answered, 
that then I should break them; for I should not 
leave speaking the V\/"ord of God : even to counsel, 
comfort, exhort, and teach the people among whom 
I came ; and I thought this to be a work that had 
no hurt in it : but was rather worthy of commenda- 
tion, than blame. 

Wingaie, Whereat he told me, that if they would 
not be so bound, my mittimus must be made, and I 
sent to the jail, there to lie to the quarter sessions. 

Now while my mittimus was making, the justice 
, was withdrawn ; and in comes an old 

An old enemy of , ' i -r^ t • j i 

the truth fell to enemy to the truth, Dr Lmdale, 
taunting at me ^^^^ ^^^^ ^^ ^^^ ^^^^ j^^ ^^j^ ^^ 

taunting at me with many reviling terms. 

Bun. To whom 1 answered, that I did not come 
thither to talk with him, but with the justice. 
Whereat he supposed that I had nothing to say for 
myself, and triumphed as if he had got the victory; 

i88 



RECEIVING GIFTS FROM GOD 

charging and condemning me for meddling with that 
for which I could show no warrant ; and asked me, 
if I had taken the oaths? and if I had not, it v^as 
pity but that I should be sent to prison, etc. 

I told him, that if I was minded, I could answer 
to any sober question that he should put to me. 
He then urged me again, how I could prove it law- 
ful for me to preach, with a great deal of confidence 
of the victory. 

But at last, because he should see that I could 
answer him if I listed, I cited to him 
that verse in Peter, which saith, As feVfco^ulf ''''^'^ 
every man hath received the gift^ even ^^^^ ^^"^ ^ ^ 
so let him minister the same^ etc. 

Lind, Aye, saith he, to whom is that spoken? 

Bun. To whom, said I, why to every man that hath 
received a gift from God. Mark, saith the apostle, 
As every man that hath received a gift from God^ 
etc. ; and again, Tou may all prophesy one by one. 
Whereat the man was a little stopt, and went a 
softlier pace : but not being willing to lose the day, 
he began again, and said : — 

Lind. Indeed, I do remember that I have read of 
one Alexander a coppersmith, who did much oppose, 
and disturb the apostles ; — (aiming it is like at me, 
because I was a tinker). 

Bun. To which I answered, that 1 also had read 
of very many priests and pharisees, that had their 
hands in the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ. 

189 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

Lind. Aye, saith he, and you are one of those 
scribes and pharisees : for you, with a pretence, 
make long prayers to devour widows' houses. 

Bun, I answered, that if he had got no more by 

preaching: and prayincr than I had 
I said if he got ^ , ^ ij V • u 

no more by done, he would not be so rich as now 

praying fhan I ^e was. But that Scripture coming 

had done he Jj^j-q ^^ mind, Answer not a fool 

would not be so -' ' -' 

rich as now he according to his folly ^ I was as spar- 
ing of my speech as I could, without 
prejudice to truth. 

Now by this time my mittimus was made, and I 
committed to the constable, to be sent to the jail in 
Bedford, etc. 

But as I was going, two of my brethren met with 

me by the way, and desired the 
If I would come ^ i i ^ ^ • ^v ^ 

to him again (the Constable to Stay, supposmg that 

iomecerta?/^^ they should prevail with the justice, 
words I should throudi the favour of a pretended 
be released r- i , i-i* o 

rriend, to let me go at liberty, bo 

we did stay, while they went to the justice ; and 
after much discourse with him, it came to this : that 
if I would come to him again, and say some certain 
words to him, I should be released. Which when 
they told me, I said if the words was such that 
might be said with a good conscience, I should or 
else I should not. So through their importunity 
went back again, but not believing that I should be 
delivered : for I feared their spirit was too full of 

190 



AN INSINCERE JUSTICE 

opposition to the truth to let me go, unless I should, 

in something or other, dishonour my God and 

wound my conscience. Wherefore, 

as I went, I lifted up my heart to Hfted'ilp my 

God, for light and strength to be heart to God to 

kept, that I might not do any thing 

that might either dishonour Him, or wrong my own 

soul, or be a grief or discouragement to any that 

was inclining after the Lord Jesus Christ. 

Well, when I came to the justice again, there was 
Mr Foster of Bedford, who, coming out of another 
room, and seeing me by the light of the candle (for 
it was dark night when I went thither), he said unto 
me, Who is there ? John Bunyan ? with such seem- 
ing affection, as if he would have leaped on my neck 
and kissed ^ me, which made me somewhat wonder, 
that such a man as he, with whom I had so little 
acquaintance, and, besides, that had ever been a 
close opposer of the ways of God, should carry him- 
self so full of love to me ; but, after- ^j^^^^ j ^^ 

wards, when I saw what he did, it ^^^* ^® ^^' \ 
' . ' remembered the 

caused me to remember those saymgs, words, * Their 
Their tongues are smoother than oil^ smoother than 
hut their words are drawn swords, ^ordfa^e^ 
And again. Beware of men^ etc. drawn swords* 
When 1 2 had answered him, that blessed be God, I 
was well; he said. What is the occasion of your 
being here? or to that purpose. To whom I 
* A right Judas. ^ Bunyan. 

191 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

answered, that I was at a meeting of people a 
little way ofF. intendinsr to speak 

I was at a meet- i r i • i 

ing a little way a word ot exhortation to them ; 

° the justice hearing thereof, said I, 

was pleased to send his warrant to fetch me before 

him, etc. 

Fost So (said he), I understand : but well, if you 
will promise to call the people no more together, 
you shall have your liberty to go home ; for my 
brother is very loath to send you to prison, if you 
will be but ruled. 

Bun. Sir (said I), pray what do you mean by 

calling the people together? my busi- 

t^exhorttiiVm ness is not anything among them, 

saved^^^"^^^^^ when they are come together, but to 

exhort them to look after the salvation 

of their souls, that they may be saved, etc. 

Fost. Saith he. We must not enter into explica- 
tion, or dispute now ; but if you will say you will 
call the people no more together, you may have 
your liberty ; if not, you must be sent away to 
prison. 

Bun. Sir, said I, I shall not force or compel any 
man to hear me ; but yet, if I come into any place 
where there is a people met together, I should, 
according to the best of my skill and wisdom, exhort 
and counsel them to seek out after the Lord Jesus 
Christ, for the salvation of their souls. 

Fost He said. That was none of my work ; I 
192 



MY DUTY TO ALL PEOPLE 

must follow my calling ; and if I would but leave 
off preaching, and follow my calling, I should have 
the justice's favour, and be acquitted presently. 

Bun. To whom I said, that I could follow my 
calling, and that too, namely, preach- , ^^^^ j ^^^j^ 
iner the Word: and I did look upon follow my cali- 

• 1 11 1 1 r mg, namely, 

It as my duty to do them both, as I preaching the 
, J ^ . Word 

had an opportunity. 

Fost. He said, To have any such meetings was 
against the law ; and, therefore, he would have 
me leave off, and say, I would call the people no 
more together. 

Bun. To whom I said, that I durst not make 
any further promise ; for my conscience would not 
suffer me to do it. And again, I did look upon it 
as my duty to do as much good as I could, not only 
in my trade, but also in communicating to all people 
wheresoever I came the best knowledge I had in 
the Word. 

Fost. He told me that I was the nearest the Papists 
of any, and that he would convince me of immediately. 

Bun. I asked him. Wherein? 

Fost. He said, In that we understood the Scrip- 
tures literally. 

Bun. I told him that those that were to be 

understood literally, we understood ,„ 

, (. \ >Ve endeavoured 

them so ; but for those that was to to understand 

, 1 ^ J ^1 . the Scriptures 

be understood otherwise, we en- literaliyand 
deavoured so to understand them. otherwise 
N 193 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

Fosf, He said, Which of the Scriptures do you 
understand literally ? 

Bun, I said this, He that believes shall be 
saved. This was to be understood just as it is 
spoken ; that whosoever believcth in Christ shall, 
according to the plain and simple words of the text, 
be saved. 

Fost, He said that I was ignorant, and did not 
understand the Scriptures ; for how, said he, can 
you understand them when you know not the 
original Greek? etc. 

Bun, To whom I said, that if that was his opinion, 
that none could understand the Scriptures but those 
that had the original Greek, etc., then but a very 
few of the poorest sort should be saved (this is 
harsh) ; yet the Scripture saith, That God hides 
these things from the wise and prudent (that is, 
from the learned of the world), and reveals them 
to babes and sucklings. 

Fost. He said there were none that heard me but 
a company of foolish people. 

Bun. I told him that there was the wise as well 

- . . ^, . as the foolish that do hear me : and 
I said, the wise ^ ' 

and foolish heard again, those that were most commonly 
counted foolish by the world are the 
wisest before God ; also, that God had rejected the 
wise, and mighty, and noble, and chosen the foolish, 
and the base. 

Fost. He told me that I made people neglect 
194 



CONDITIONAL LIBERTY 

their calling ; and that God had commanded people 
to work six days, and serve Him on the seventh. 

Bun. I told him that it was the duty of people, 
(both rich and poor), to look out for 
their souls on them days as well as (Foster) that it 
for their bodies ; and that God would ndf ^nd poo^r to 
have His people exhort one another look out after 

, ., , ., . . 1, , , theirsouls 

daily, while it is called to-day. 

Fost. He said again that there were none but a 
company of poor, simple, ignorant people that come 
to hear me. 

Bun. I told him that the foolish and the ignorant had 
most neevl of teaching and information; and, therefore, 
it would be profitable for me to go on in that work. 

Fost. Well, said he, to conclude, but will you 
promise that you will not call the people together any 
more ? and then you may be released and go home. 

Bun. I told him that I durst say no more than I 
had said ; for I durst not leave off that work which 
God had called me to. 

So he withdrew from me, and then came several 
of the justice's servants to me, and -,,-... 

J ' The justice s 

told me that I stood so much upon servants said to 

,—,. . . . . me I stood so 

a nicety, ineir master, they said, much upon a 

was willing to let me go ; and if I °^^^^y 
would but say I would call the people no more to- 
gether, I might have my liberty, etc. 

Bun. I told them there were more ways than 
one in which a man might be said to call the people 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

together. As for instance, if a man get upon the 
market-place, and there read a book, or the like, 
though he do not say to the people, Sirs, come 
hither and hear ; yet if they come to him because 
he reads, he, by his very reading, may be said to 
call them together ; because they would not have 
been there to hear if he had not been there to read. 
And seeing this might be termed a calling the people 
together ; I durst not say, I would not call them 
together ; for then, by the same argument, my 
preaching might be said to call them together. 

Wing, and Fost. Then came the justice and Mr 

,„ Foster to me aeain : Twe had a little 

We had a little i 

more discourse more discourse about preachmg, bat 

a ou preac ing ]3g(,^^ge ^}^g method of it is out of my 

mind, I pass it) ; and when they saw that I was at a 
point, and would not be moved nor persuaded, 

Mr Foster, the man that did at first express so much 
love to me, told the justice that then he must send me 
away to prison. And that he would do well, also, if 
he v/ould present all those that were the cause of my 
coming among them to meetings. Thus we parted. 

And, verily, as I was going forth of the doors, I 

. had much ado to forbear saying to 

peace of God them that I Carried the peace of God 

^^ "i« along with me ; but I held my peace, 

and, blessed be the Lord, went away to prison, with 

God's comfort in my poor soul. 

After I had lain in the jail five or six days, the 
196 



BACK AGAIN TO PRISON 

brethren sought means, again, to get me out by 

bondsmen ; (for so ran my mittimus, , .... 

' ^ . . •' 'I was not at all 

that I should lie there till I could find daunted, but 
. ^ rpi ^ ^ • . ^ rather glad 

sureties), iney went to a justice at 

Elstow, one Mr Crumpton, to desire him to take 
bond for my appearing at the quarter sessions. At 
the first he told them he would ; but afterwards he 
made a demur at the business, and desired first to 
see my mittimus, which ran to this purpose : That I 
went about to several conventicles in the county, to 
the great disparagement of the government of the 
church of England, etc. When he had seen it, he 
said that there might be something more against me 
than was expressed in my mittimus; and that he 
was but a young man, therefore he durst not do it. 
This my jailor told me ; and, whereat I was not at 
all daunted but rather glad, and saw evidently that 
the Lord had heard me ; for before I went down 
to the justice, I begged of God that if I might 
do more good by being at liberty than in prison, 
that then I might be set at liberty; but if not, 
His will be done ; for I was not altogether with- 
out hopes but that my imprisonment might be an 
awakening to the saints in the country, therefore 

I could not tell well which to choose ; , ^ ^ 

, T . , ,.j . I met my God 

only 1, m that manner, did commit sweetly in the 

the thing to God. And verily, at my P"^°" ^^^^ 

return, I did meet my God sweetly in the prison 

again, comforting of me and satisfying of me 

197 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

that it was His will and mind that I should be 
there. 

When I came back again to prison, as I was 
musing at the slender answer of the justice, this 
word dropt in upon my heart with some life. For 
He knew that for envy they had delivered Him. 

Thus have I, in short, declared the manner and 
I have declared occasion of my being in prison; 

the manner of my where I lie waiting: the eood will of 
bemg m prison . o & 

where I he God, to do with me as He pleaseth ; 

waiting the i • i i • r 

good will of knowmg that not one nair or my 

head can fall to the ground without 

the will of my Father, which is in heaven. Let the 

rage and malice of men be never so great, they can 

do no more, nor go any further, than God permits 

them ; but when they have done their worst, We 

know all things shall work together for good to 

them that love God. Farewell. 



Here is the Sum of my Examination before Justice 
Keelin, Justice Chester, Justice Blundale, 
Justice Beecher, Justice Snagg, etc. 

After I had lain in prison above seven weeks, 

the quarter-sessions were to be kept 

A bill of indict- .-Djrjr ^. i. c 

ment preferred in Bedford, lor the county thereof, 

agams me ^^^^ which I was to be brought ; and 

when my jailor had set me before those justices, 
there was a bill of indictment preferred against me. 

198 



EXAMINED BY THE JUSTICES 

The extent thereof was as followeth : That John 
Bunyan, of the town of Bedford, labourer, being 
a person of such and such conditions, he hath (since 
such a time) devilishly and perniciously abstained 
from coming to church to hear Divine service, and 
is a common upholder of several unlawful meetings 
and conventicles, to the great disturbance and dis- 
traction of the good subjects of this kingdom, 
contrary to the laws of our sovereign lord the 
King, etc. 

The Clerk, When this was read, the clerk of the 
sessions said unto me, What say you to this ? 

Bun, I said, that as to the first part of it, I was 

a common frequenter of the Church 

A J 1 1 Iwasacommon 

of God. And was also, by grace, a frequenter of the 

member with the people, over whom urc o o 
Christ is the Head. 

Keelin. But, saith Justice Keelin (who was the 
judge in that court), do you come to church (you 
know what I mean) ; to the parish church, to hear 
Divine service ? 

Bun. I answered. No, I did not. 

Keel. He asked me, Why? 

Bun. I said. Because I did not find it commanded 
in the Word of God. 

Keel. He said. We were commanded to pray. 

Bun. I said, But not by the Common Prayer-Book. 

Keel, He said, How then ? ' 

Bun. I said, With the Spirit. As the apostle 
199 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

saith, / will pray with the Spirit^ and with the 
understanding, i Cor. xiv. 15. 

Keel. He said, We might pray with the Spirit, 
and with the understanding, and with the Common 
Prayer-Book also. 

Bun, I said, that the prayers in the Common 

Prayer-Book were such as was made 

Ll'he'w^ir'^' by Other men, and not by the 

pray with the motions of the ?Ioly Ghost, within 

Spirit, etc. J T .J 1, 1 

our hearts ; and as 1 said, the apostle 

saith, he will pray with the Spirit, and with the 
understanding ; not with the Spirit and the Common 
Prayer-Book. 

Another Justice. What do you count prayer."^ 
Do you think it is to say a few words over before 
or among a people ? 

Bun. I said. No, not so ; for men might have 
many elegant, or excellent words, and yet not pray 
at all ; but when a man prayeth, he doth, through 
a sense of those things which he wants (which 
sense is begotten by the Spirit), pour out his heart 
before God through Christ ; though his words be 
not so many and so excellent as others are. 

Justices. They said, That was true. 

Bun. I said, This might be done without the 
Common Prayer-Book. 

Another. One of them said (I think it was 
Justice Blundale^ or Justice Snagg)^ How should we 
know that you do not write out your prayers first, 

200 



A DISCUSSION ON PRAYER 

and then read them afterwards to the people? 

This he spake in a laughing way. 

Bun. I said, it is not our use, to take a pen and 

paper, and write a few words there- 

y ^ T . It IS not our use, 

on, and then go and read it over to i said, to write 

r 1 our prayers 

a company or people. ^ ^ 

But how should we know it, said he? 

Bun. Sir, it is none of our custom, said I. 

Keel. But said Justice Keelin^ It is lawful to use 
the Common Prayer, and such like forms : for 
Christ taught His disciples to pray, as John also 
taught his disciples. And further, said he, Cannot 
one man teach another to pray ? Faith comes by 
hearing ; and one man may convince another of sin, 
and therefore prayers made by men, and read over, 
are good to teach, and help men to pray. 

While he was speaking these words, God brought 
that word into my mind, in the eighth of the Romans, 
at the 26th verse. I say, God brought it, for I 
thought not on it before : but as he was speaking, 
it came so fresh into my mind, and was set so 
evidently before me, as if the scripture had said, 
Take me, take me ; so when he had done speaking, 

Bun. I said, Sir, the scripture saith, that // is the 
spirit that helpeth our infirmities ; 
for we know not what we should the spirit that 
pray for as we ought ; but the Spirit ^nfiJ^Sies^ 
itself maketh intercession for us, with 
sighs and groanings which cannot be uttered. 

201 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

Mark, said I, it doth DOt say the Common Prayer- 
Book teacheth us how to pray, but the Spirit. And 
it is the Spirit that helpeth our injirmiiies^ saith 
the apostle ; he doth not say it is the Common 
Prayer-Book. 

And as to the Lord's prayer, akhough it be an 
easy thing to say. Our Father^ etc., with the mouth; 
yet there is very few that can, in the Spirit, say 
the two first words in that prayer ; that is, that can 
call God their Father, as knowing what it is to be 
born again, and as having experience, that they are 
begotten of the Spirit of God : which if they do 
not, all is but babbling, etc. 

Keel. Justice Keelin said that that was a 
truth. 

Bun, And I say further, as to your saying that 

, _„ ^ ^^ one man may convince another of sin, 

1 say men may j ' 

tell each other and that faith comes by hearing:, and 
of their sms, but , ,, i i 

the Spirit must that one man may tell another now 

convince them i i i i t 

he should pray, etc., 1 say men may 

tell each other of their sins, but it is the Spirit that 

must convince them. 

And though it be said that fjitb comes by hear- 
ing : yet it is the Spirit that worketh faith in the 
heart through hearing, or else they are not profited 
by hearuig. lieb. iv. 12. 

And that though one man may tell another how 
he should pray : yet, as I said before, he cannot 
pray, nor make his condition known to God, 

202 



THE DISCUSSION CONTINUED 

except the Spirit help. It is not the Common 

Prayer-Book that can do this. It is the Spirit that 

showetb us our sins^ and the Spirit that sboweth us 

a Saviour^ Jn. xvi. 16, and the Spirit that stirreth 

up in our hearts desires to come to God, for such 

things as we stand in need of, Matt. xi. 27, even 

sighing out our souls unto Him for them with 

groans which cannot he uttered. With other 

words to the same purpose. At this they were set. 

Keel. But says Justice Keelin.^ What have you 

against the Common Prayer-Book ? 

Bun, I said, Sir, if you will hear 

/ ' ^ I shall lay down 

me, I shall lay down my reasons my reasons 

^ . against it 

agamst it. 

Keel. He said I should have liberty ; but first, 
said he, let me give you one caution ; take heed of 
speaking irreverently of the Common Prayer-Book ; 
for if you do so, you will bring great damage upon 
yourself. 

Bun. So I proceeded, and said, My first reason 
was, because it was not commanded in the Word of 
God, and therefore I could not use it. 

Another. One of them said. Where do you find it 
commanded in the Scripture, that you should go to 
Elstoiv.^ or Bedford., and yet it is lawful to go to 
either of them, is it not ? 

Bun. I said. To go to Elstow^ or Bedford, was a 
civil thing, and not material, though not commanded, 
and yet God's Word allowed me to go about my 

203 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

calling, and therefore if it lay there, then to go 
thither, etc. But to pray, was a 
word allowed great part of the Divine worship 
SySaUn|^°"* of God, and therefore it ought to 
be done according to the rule of 
God's Word. 

Another. One of them said, He will do harm ; 
let him speak no further. 

KeeL Justice Keelin said. No, no, never fear 
him, we are better established than so ; he can do 
no harm ; we know the Common Prayer-Book hath 
been ever since the apostles' time, and it is lawful 
for it to be used in the church. 

Bun. I said. Show me the place in the epistles, 
where the Common Prayer-Book is written, or one 
text of Scripture, that commands me to read it, and 
I will use it. But yet, notwithstanding, said I, they 
that have a mind to use it, they have their liberty ; 
that is, I would not keep them from it ; but for our 
parts, we can pray to God without it. Blessed be 
His name ! 

With that, one of them said. Who is your God ? 
They often said Beelzebub? Moreover, they often 
I was possessed said, that I was possessed with the 

with the spirit of . .' c ^ ^ - j r i. j -i 

delusion, and of spirit of delusion, and ot the devil. 
All which sayings I passed over ; the 
Lord forgive them ! And further, I said. Blessed be 
the Lord for it ; we are encouraged to meet to- 
gether, and to pray, and exhort one another; for 

204 



JUSTICE KEELIN VERY RUDE 

we have had the comfortable presence of God among 
us. For ever blessed be His holy name ! 

Keel. Justice Keelin called this pedler's French, 
saying, that I must leave off my canting. The 
Lord open his eyes ! 

Bun. I said that we ought to exhort one 
another daily, while it is called to-day, etc. 

Keel. Justice Keelin said that I ought not to 
preach ; and asked me where I had my authority ? 
with other such like words. 

Bun. I said that I would prove that j ^^^^ j would 
it was lawful for me, and such prove it was 

_. 1 1 TTT 1 r lawful for me to 

as 1 am, to preach the Word or preach the Word 
God. ^^^°^ 

Keel. He said unto me, By what Scripture ? 

Bun. I said. By that in the first epistle of 
Peter, chap. iv. lo, ii, and Acts xviii., with other 
Scriptures, which he would not suffer me to 
mention. But said, Hold ; not so many, which 
is the first? 

Bun. I said this : As every man hath received 
the nfU even so let him minister the 

1 'A h. 

same unto another^ as good stewards man^'ath re- ^ 

of the manifold ^race of God. If ceiled the gift so 
-J J a J ♦'let him mimster 

any man speak., let him speak as the 

oracles of God., etc. 

Keel. He said, Let me a little open that Scripture 

to you : As every man hath received the gift ; that 

is, said he, as every one hath received a trade, so let 

205 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

him follow it. If any man have received a gift of 
tinkering, as thou hast done, let him follow his 
tinkering. And so other men their trades. And 
the divine his calling, etc. 

Bun. Nay, sir, said I, but it is most clear, that 
I would have ^^^^ apostle speaks here of preaching 

^ne ofi, but he the Word ; if you do but compare 
not give me both the verses together, the next 

verse explains this gift what it is, 
saying, if any man speak., let him speak as the oracles 
of God. So that it is plain, that the Holy Ghost 
doth not so much in this place exhort to civil callings, 
as to the exercising of those gifts that we have 
received from God. I would have gone on, but he 
would not give me leave. 

Keel. He said, We might do it in our families, 
but not otherways. 

Bun, I said. If it was lawful to do good to some, 

I said, if it was i^ ^^^S ^^^'^^1 ^^ ^° gOO^ to "^O^^- I^ 
lawful to do g-ood it was a c^ood duty to exhort our 
to some, it was ^ . , . . , 

lawful to do good families, it was good to exhort others ; 
to more ^^^^ |£ ^^^^ j^^|^ |j. ^ ^j^ ^^ ra^^x. to- 

gether to seek the face of God, and exhort one 
another to follow Christ, I should sin still; for so 
we should do. 

Keel. He said he was not so well versed in 
Scripture as to dispute, or words to that purpose. 
And said, moreover, that they could not wait upon 
me any longer ; but said to me. Then you confess 

206 




BUNYAN REFUSES TO BE SILENXED. 

I told him if I zvere out of prison to-day, I ivoiild preach the Gospel 
again to-morrow. 



A VINDICTIVE SENTENCE 

the indictment, do you not ? Now, and not till now, 
I saw I was indicted. 

Bun. I said. This I confess, we have had many 
meetings together, both to pray to 
God, and to exhort one another, and ^e had many * 
that we had the sweet comforting ^l^^^^^^^^' 
presence of the Lord amone us for prayer and ex- 

, , ,*^, TT- nortation 

our encouragement; blessed be His 

name therefore. I confessed myself guilty no 

otherwise. 

Keel. Then, said he, bear your judgment. You 
must be had back again to prison, and there lie for 
three months following ; and at three months' end, 
if you do not submit to go to church to hear Divine 
service, and leave your preaching, you must be 
banished the realm : and if, after such a day as 
shall be appointed you to be gone, you shall be 
found in this realm, etc., or be found to come over 
again without special licence from the king, etc., 
you must stretch by the neck for it, I tell you 
plainly : and so he bid my jailor have me away. 

Bun. I told him, as to this matter, I was at a 
point with him ; for if I were out of 
prison to-day, I would preach the ^^r{s7nltT^^\ 
Gospel again to-morrow, by the help ^°^to mwrow 

of God. ^^^ o-morrow 

Another. To which one made me some answer: 
but my jailor pulling me away to be gone, I could 
not tell what he said. 

207 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

Thus I departed from them ; and I can truly say, 

My heart was ^ ^^^^^ ^^^ ^^^^ ^^^^^ Christ for it, 
sweetly re- that my heart was sweetly refreshed 

freshed at my , , . - . . 

returning: to m the time or my exammation, and 

prison ^1^^ afterwards, at my returning to 

the prison. So that I found Christ's words more 
than bare trifles, where He saith, / will give you a 
mouth and wisdom^ which all your adversaries shall 
not he able to gainsay^ nor resist. Luke xxi. 1 5. And 
that His peace no man can take from us. 

Thus have I given you the substance of my 
examination. The Lord make this profitable to all 
that shall read or hear it. Farewell. 



The Substance of some Discourse had between the 
Clerk of the Peace and myself ; when he came to 
admonish me., according to the tenor of that Law., 
by which I was in prison. 

When I had lain in prison other twelve weeks, 

^ , , ,,, and now not knowing: what they 
The clerk of the . ^ ^ J 

Peace comes to mtended to do with me, upon the 

third of April 1661, comes Mr Cobb 
unto me (as he told me), being sent by the justices 
to admonish me ; and demand of me submittance to 
the church of England, etc. The extent of our dis- 
course was as followeth. 

Cobb. When he was come into the house he sent 
for me out of my chamber ; who, when I was come 

208 



ON MEETING WITH OTHERS 

unto him, he said, Neighbour Bunyan^ how do 
you do? 

Bun. I thank you. Sir, said I, very well, blessed be 
the Lord. 

Cobb, Saith he, I come to tell you, that it is 
desired you would submit yourself to the laws of 
the land, or else at the next sessions it will go worse 
with you, even to be sent away out of the nation, 
or else worse than that. 

Bun. I said that I did desire to demean myself in 
the world, both as becometh a man and a Christian. 

Cobb. But, saith he, you must submit to the laws 
of the land, and leave off those meetings which you 
w^as wont to have; for the statute-law is directly 
against it; and I am sent to you by the justices to 
tell you that they do intend to prosecute the law 
against you if you submit not. 

Bun. I said, Sir, I conceive that that law by which 
I am in prison at this time, doth not 
reach or condemn either me, or the Jo^them"^^ ^^^^^ 
meetings which I do frequent; that 
law was made against those, that being designed to 
do evil in their meetings, making the exercise of 
religion their pretence, to cover their wickedness. 
It doth not forbid the private meetings of those that 
plainly and simply make it their only end to worship 
the Lord, and to exhort one another to edification. 
My end in meeting with others is simply to do as 
much good as I can, by exhortation and counsel, 
o 209 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

according to that small measure of light which God 
hath given me, and not to disturb the peace of the 
nation. 

Cobb. Every one will say the same, said he ; you 
see the late insurrection ^ at London^ under what 
glorious pretences they went ; and yet, indeed, they 
intended no less than the ruin of the kingdom and 
commonwealth. 

Bun. That practice of theirs, I abhor, said I ; yet 

I look upon it as ^^/^^^ "^^ ^^^^^^ ^^^^' because they 

my duty to be- did SO, therefore all others will do so. 

have myself t i i • i i i 

under the King's 1 looK upon It as my duty to behave 

governmen myself under the King's government, 

both as becomes a man and a Christian, and if an 
occasion were offered me, I should willingly mani- 
fest my loyalty to my Prince, both by word and 
deed. 

Cobb. Well, said he, I do not profess myself to be 
a man that can dispute ; but this I say, truly, neigh- 
bour Bunyan^ I would have you consider this matter 
seriously, and submit yourself; you may have your 
liberty to exhort your neighbour in private discourse, 
so be you do not call together an assembly of people ; 
and, truly, you may do much good to the church of 
Christ, if you would go this way; and this you may 
do, and the law not abridge you of it. It is your 
private meetings that the law is against. 

Bun. Sir, said I, if I may do good to one by my 

^ The Venner insurrection is here referred to, 
2IO 



DOING GOOD TO ONE OR MANY 

discourse, why may I not do good to two ? And if 
to two, why not to four, and so to eight ? etc. 

Cobb. Ay, saith he, and to a hundred, I warrant 
you. 

Bun. Yes, Sir, said I, I think I should not be for- 
bid to do as much good as I can. 

Cobb. But, saith he, you may but pretend to do 
good, and instead, notwithstanding, do harm, by 
seducing the people ; you are, therefore, denied your 
meeting so many together, lest you should do harm. 

Bun. And yet, said I, you say the law tolerates 
me to discourse with my neighbour; 
surely there is no law tolerates me to toSftel^me^tS 

seduce any one; therefore if I may discourse with 
, , ,. . T / my neighbour 

by the law discourse with one, surely 

it is to do him good ; and if I by discoursing may do 

good to one, surely, by the same law, I may do good 

to many. 

Cobb. The law, saith he, doth expressly forbid 
your private meetings ; therefore they are not to be 
tolerated. 

Bun. I told him that I would not entertain so 
much uncharitableness of that Parliament in the 35th 
of Elizabeth.^ or of the Queen herself, as to think 
they did, by that law, intend the i defend myself 

oppressino: of any of God's ordin- by explaining- 

^^ °, . -^ . . , and upholding 

ances, or the mterruptmg any m the the law of the 

way of God ; but men may, in the 

wresting of it, turn it against the way of God ; but 

211 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

take the law In itself, and it only fighteth against 
those that drive at mischief in their hearts and 
meeting, making religion only their cloak, colour, or 
pretence ; for so are the words of the statute : If any 
meetings^ under colour or pretence of religion, etc. 

Cohb. Very good ; therefore the king, seeing that 
pretences are usually in and among people, so as to 
make religion their pretence only ; therefore he, and 
the law before him, doth forbid such private meetings, 
and tolerates only public ; you may meet in public. 

Bun. Sir, said I, let me answer you in a similitude : 

.^ , , , Set the case that, at such a wood 

Sir, said I, let j.j n c ^ 

me answer you corner, there did usually come forth 

in a similitude ■,. ^ ^ • "U- r ^ ^u 

thieves, to do mischief; must there 

therefore a law be made, that every one that cometh 

out there shall be killed ? May not there come out 

true men as well as thieves out from thence.'* Just 

thus is it in this case ; I do think there may be 

many that may design the destruction of the 

commonwealth ; but it doth not follow therefore 

that all private meetings are unlav/ful ; those that 

transgress, let them be punished. And if at any 

time I myself should do any act in my conversation as 

doth not become a man and Christian, let me bear the 

punishment. And as for your saying I may meet in 

public, if I may be suffered, I would gladly do it. 

Let me have but meeting enough in public, and I 

shall care the less to have them in private. I do not 

meet in private because I am afraid to have meetings 



TO ERR OR TO BE A HERETIC 

in public. I bless the Lord that my heart is at that 
point, that if any man can lay any thing to my 
charge, either in doctrine or in practice, in this 
particular, that can be proved error or heresy, I am 
willing to disown it, even in the very market-place ; 
but if it be truth, then to stand to it to the last drop 
of my blood. And, Sir, said I, you ought to com- 
mend me for so doing. To err and if it can be 

to be a heretic are two thino^s ; I am proved I am 

. T -n J gruilty of error 

no heretic, because 1 will not stand or heresy, I will 

refractorily to defend any one thing 

that is contrary to the Word. Prove any thing 

which I hold to be an error, and I will recant it. 

Cobb, But, goodman Bunyan^ said he, methinks you 
need not stand so strictly upon this one thing, as to have 
meetings of such public assemblies. Cannot you sub- 
mit, and, notwithstanding, do as much good as you can, 
in a neighbourly way, without having such meetings ? 

Bun, Truly, Sir, said I, I do not desire to com- 
m.end myself, but to think meanly of myself; yet 
when I do most despise myself, taking notice of that 
small measure of light which God hath given me, also 
that the people of the Lord (by their own saying), 
are edified thereby. Besides, when I see that the 
Lord, through grace, hath in some measure blessed 
my labour, I dare not but exercise that gift which 
God hath given me for the good of the people. 
And I said further, that I would willingly speak in 
public if I might. 

213 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

Cobb. He said, that I might come to the public 
assemblies and hear. What though you do not 
preach? you may hear. Do not think yourself so 
well enlightened, and that you have received a gift 
so far above others, but that you may hear other 
men preach. Or to that purpose. 

Bun, I told him, I was as willing to be taught as 

to give instruction, and I looked upon 
I s&id I Tvss sls • 
willing to be It as my duty to do both ; for, said I, 

ks§^ction°^'''^ a man that is a teacher, he himself 
may learn also from another that 
teacheth, as the apostle saith. We may all prophesy 
one by one^ that all may learn, i Cor. xiv. 31. 
That is, every man that hath received a gift from 
God, he may dispense it, that others may be com- 
forted ; and when he hath done, he may hear and 
learn, and be comforted himself of others. 

Cobb. But, said he, what if you should forbear 
awhile, and sit still, till you see further how things 
will go? 

Bun. Sir, said I, Wickliffe saith, that he which 
Isaid,*Wickliffe leaveth off preaching and hearing of 

saith, he who the Word of God for fear of excom- 
leaveth off . . p 1 • 1 1 

preaching for munication of men, he is already ex- 
fear of excom- . ^ J r r> i j i n • 

munication is communicated or God, and shall m 

muS^tedor* the day of judgment be counted a 
God' traitor to Christ.^ 

1 Bunyan here refers to a translation of WicklifFe's doctrines in 
John Foxe's Martyrologyy a favourite book of his. 

214 



PROOF BY THE BIBLE 

Cobb. Ay, saith he, they that do not hear shall be 
so counted indeed ; do you, therefore, hear ? 

Bu7i, But, Sir, said I, he saith, he that shall leave 
off either preaching or hearing, etc. That is, if he 
hath received a gift for edification, it is his sin, if he 
doth not lay it out in a way of exhortation and 
counsel, according to the proportion of his gift ; as 
well as to spend his time altogether in hearing others 
preach. 

Cobb. But, said he, how shall we know that you 
have received a gift? 

Bun. Said I, Let any man hear and search, and 
prove the doctrine by the Bible. 

Cobb. But will you be willing, said he, that two 
indifferent persons shall determine the case ; and 
will you stand by their judgment? 

Bun. I said, Are they infallible? 

Cobb. He said. No. 

Bun. Then, said I, it is possible my judgment 

may be as e^ood as theirs. But yet I , 

.,■; 1 .1 J. i- I am willing: to 

will pass by either, and in this matter be judged by the 

be judged by the Scriptures ; I am ^"^ ^^^ 

sure that is infallible, and cannot err. 

Cobb. But, said he, who shall be judge between 
you, for you take the Scriptures one way, and they 
another ? 

Bun. I said the Scripture should : and that by 
comparing one Scripture with another ; for that 
will open itself, if it be rightly compared. As 

215 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

for instance, if under the different apprehensions 

of the word Mediator^ you would 

tm? will open know the truth of it, the Scriptures 

mediator must take up the business 
between two, and a mediator is not a mediator 
of one, — but God is one^ and there is one Mediator 
between God and men^ even the man Christ Jesus. 
Gal. iii. 20 ; i Tim. ii. 5. So likewise the Scripture 
calleth Christ a complete^ or perfect, or able high 
priest. That is opened in that He is called man, 
and also God. His blood also is discovered to be 
effectually efficacious by the same things. So the 
Scripture, as touching the matter of meeting to- 
gether, etc., doth likewise sufficiently open itself 
and discover its meaning. 

Cobb, But are you willing, said he, to stand to the 
judgment of the church ? 

Bun. Yes, Sir, said I, to the approbation of the 

church of God; (the church's jude- 
I told him I did . , ' ^ 1 • o • n 

look upon mv- ment is best expressed m bcr.jpture). 

walk according ^^ ^*^^ much Other discourse which 

to all righteous J cannot well remember, about the 
laws , ' , , 

laws of the nation, and submission to 

governments ; to which I did tell him, that I did look 
upon myself as bound in conscience to walk accord- 
ing to all righteous laws, and that, whether there 
was a king or no ; and if 1 did any thing that was 
contrary, I did hold it my duty to bear patiently the 

216 



SUBMISSION TO AUTHORITY 

penalty of the law, that was provided against such 
oiFenders ; with many more words to the like effect. 
And said, moreover, that to cut off all occasions of 
suspicion from any, as touching the harmlessness 
of my doctrine in private, I would willingly take 
the pains to give any one the notes of all my 
sermons ; for I do sincerely desire to live quietly 
in my country, and to submit to the present 
authority. 

Cobb. Well, neighbour Bunyan^ said he, but 
indeed I would wish you seriously to consider of 
these things, between this and the quarter-sessions, 
and to submit yourself. You may do much good 
if you continue still in the land ; but alas, what 
benefit will it be to your friends, or what good can 
you do to them, if you should be sent away beyond 
the seas into Spain^ or Constantinople^ or some 
other remote part of the world ? Pray be ruled. 

Jailor. Indeed, Sir, I hope he will be ruled. 

Bun. I shall desire, said I, in all godliness and 
honesty to behave myself in the ik^ownoevU 
nation, whilst I am in it. And if I that I have done 

, .11 in this matter. I 

must be so dealt withal, as you say, speak as in the 

I hope God will help me to bear what P'^'^°^^ ^^ ^^^ 

they shall lay upon me. I know no evil that I 

have done in this matter, to be so used. I speak as 

in the presence of God. 

Cobb. You know, saith he, that the Scripture 

saith, the powers that be^ are ordained of God, 

2iy 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

Bun. I said, Yes, and that I was to submit to the 
King as supreme, and also to the governors, as to 
them who are sent by Him. 

Cobb. Well then, said he, the King then com- 
mands you, that you should not have any private 
meetings ; because it is against his law, and he is 
ordained of God, therefore you should not have 
any. 

Bun. I told him that Paul did own the powers 

that were in his day, to be of God ; 

law provides ^ ^^^ 7^^ ^^ ^^^^ often in prison under 

two ways of them for all that. And also, thouprh 

obeying ' ^ 

Jesus Christ told Pilate.^ that He had 

no power against him, but of God, yet He died 
under the same Pilate ; and yet, said I, I hope you 
will not say that either Paul.^ or Christ, were such 
as did deny magistracy, and so sinned against God 
in slighting the ordinance. Sir, said I, the law hath 
provided two ways of obeying : the one to do that 
which I, in my conscience, do believe that I am 
bound to do, actively ; and where I cannot obey 
actively, there I am willing to lie down, and to suffer 
what they shall do unto me. At this he sat still, 
and said no more ; which when he had done, I did 
thank him for his civil and meek discoursing with 
me ; and so we parted. 

O ! that we might meet in heaven I 

Farewell. J. B. 



218 



MRS BUNYAN AT THE ASSIZES 



Here followeth a discourse between my Wife and the 
Judges^ with others^ touching my Deliverance at 
the Assizes following ; the which I took from her 
own Mouth. 

After that I had received this sentence of 

banishincr or hanginsr, from them, _, 

r 1 r 1 • • They took me 

and after the former admonition, for a convicted 

touching the determination of the hfndered^y 
justices, if I did not recant; just P|jj^^|^|°the 
when the time drew nieh, in which King's corona- 

tiftfi 

I should have abjured, or have done 
worse (as Mr Cobb told me), came the time in which 
the King was to be crowned.^ Now, at the coronation 
of kings, there is usually a releasement of divers 
prisoners, by virtue of his coronation ; in which 
privilege also I should have had my share ; 
but that they took me for a convicted person, and 
therefore, unless I sued out a pardon (as they called 
it), I could have no benefit thereby, notwithstanding, 
yet, forasmuch as the coronation proclamation did 
give liberty, from the day the King was crowned, to 
that day twelvemonth, to sue them out ; therefore, 
though they would not let me out of prison, as they 
let out thousands, yet they could not meddle with 
me, as touching the execution of their sentence; 
because of the liberty offered for the suing out of 
1 April 23, 166 1. 
219 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

pardons. Whereupon I continued in prison till the 

next assizes, which are called Midsummer assizes, 

being then kept in August^ 1661. 

Now, at that assizes, because I would not leave 

any possible means unattempted 
My wife did . "' ^ . , , . r 1 t j • 1 i 

present for me that might be lawful, 1 did, by my 

^Aug^irrili wife, present a petition to the judges 

a petition to the t^ij-ee times, that I might be heard, 
judges ' . ° . ' 

and that they would impartially take 
my case into consideration. 

The first time my wife went, she presented it to 

Judge Hale^ who very mildly received 
veVmiW^^e- it at her hand, telling her that he 
H^e"^ ^^^"^^^^ would do her and me the best good 

he could ; but he feared, he said, he 
could do none. The next day, again, lest they 
should, through the multitude of business, forget 
me, we did throw another petition into the coach 

to Judge Twisdon ; who, when he 
angfuysaddl h^d seen it, snapt her up, and angrily 
^rson*^°°^^^^^^ told her that I was a convicted person, 

and could not be released, unless I 

would promise to preach no more, etc. 

Well, after this, she yet again presented another 

to Judge Hale, as he sat on the bench. 
Justice Chester r •. j -ir 

said I was a hot- who, as it Seemed, was wilhng to 

spirited fellow gj^^ ^^^ audience. Only Justice 
Chester being present, stept up and said, that I was 
convicted in the court, and that I was a hot-spirited 

220 




Bunyan's Wife pleading with the Judges. 

Sue then coming into the chamber with abashed face, and a trembling 
hearty be.^an her errand to them in this manner. 



AN APPEAL TO JUDGE HALE 

fellow (or words to that purpose), whereat he waived 
it, and did not meddle therewith. But yet, my wife 
being encouraged by the high-sheriff, did venture 
once more into their presence (as the poor widow 
did before the unjust judge) to try what she could do 
with them for my liberty, before they went forth of 
the town. The place where she went to them, was 
to the Swan-chamher^ where the two judges, and 
many justices and gentry of the country, was in 
company together. She then coming into the 
chamber with a bashed face, and a trembling heart, 
began her errand to them in this manner : — 

Woman. My lord (directing herself to Judge Hale), 
I make bold to come once again to your Lordship, to 
know what may be done with my husband. 

Judge Hale. To whom he said. Woman, I told 
thee before I could do thee no good ; because they 
have taken that for a conviction which thy husband 
spoke at the sessions : and unless there be something 
done to undo that, I can do thee no good. 

Woman. My lord, said she, he is kept unlawfully 
in prison ; they clapped him up before there was 
any proclamation against the meetings ; the indict- 
ment also is false. Besides, they never asked him 
whether he was guilty or no; neither did he 
confess the indictment. 

One of the Justices. Then one of the justices that 
stood by, whom she knew not, said, My Lord, he was 
lawfully convicted. 

221 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

Worn. It is false, said she ; for when they said to 
him, Do you confess the indictment? he said only 
this, that he had been at several meetings, both 
where there were preaching the Word, and prayer, 
and that they had God's presence among them. 

Judge Twisdon. Whereat Judge Tivisdon answered 
very angrily, saying, What, you think we can do 
what we list ; your husband is a breaker of the peace, 
and is convicted by the law, etc. Whereupon Judge 
Hale called for the Statute Book. 

Worn. But, said she, my lord, he was not lawfully 
convicted. 

Chester. Then Justice Chester said. My lord, he 
was lawfully convicted. 

Worn. It is false, said she ; it was but a word of dis- 
course that they took for a conviction (as you heard 
before). 

Chest, But it is recorded, woman ; it is recorded, 
said Justice Chester \ as if it must be of necessity 
true, because it was recorded. With which words 
he often endeavoured to stop her mouth, having no 
other argument to convince her, but it is recorded, 
it is recorded. 

Worn, My Lord, said she, I was a while since at 

London^ to see if I could get my 

presentTa^ husband's liberty; and there I spoke 

Barkwood^'*'^'^ with my lord Barkwood, one of the 

House of Lords, to whom I delivered 

a petition, who took it of me and presented it to 

222 



TWO ANGRY JUDGES 

some of the rest of the House of Lords, for my 
husband's releasement ; who, when they had seen 
it, they said, that they could not release him, 
but had committed his releasement to the judges, at 
the next assizes. This he told me ; and now I am 
come to you to see if any thing may be done in this 
business, and you give neither releasement nor relief. 
To which they gave her no answer, but made as if 
they heard her not. 

Chest. Only Justice Chester was often up with 
this, — He is convicted, and it is recorded. 

Worn. If it be, it is false, said she. 

Chest. My lord, said Justice Chester^ he is a 
pestilent fellow, there is not such a fellow in the 
country again. 

Twis. What, will your husband leave preaching ? 
If he will do so, then send for him. 

Worn. My lord, said she, he dares not leave preach- 
ing as long as he can speak. 

Twis. See here, what should we talk any more 
about such a fellow ? Must he do what he lists ? 
He is a breaker of the peace. 

Worn. She told him again, that he desired to live 
peaceably, and to follow his calling, that his family 
might be maintained ; and moreover, said. My Lord, 
I have four small children, that cannot help them- 
selves, one of which is blind, and have nothing to live 
upon, but the charity of good people. 

Hale Hast thou four children ? said Judge 
223 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

Hale; thou art but a young woman to have four 

children. 

Worn, My lord, said she, I am but mother-in-law 

to them, having not been married to 
Mrs Bunyan . . '. ° t i i t 

speaks to Judge him yet full two years. Indeed, 1 was 

® with child when my husband was first 

apprehended ; but being young, and unaccustomed to 
such things, said she, I being smayed ^ at the news, 
fell into labour, and so continued for eight days, and 
then was delivered, but my child died. 

Hale. Whereat, he looking very soberly on the 
matter, said, Alas, poor woman ! 

Twis, But Judge Twisdon told her, that she made 
poverty her cloak ; and said, moreover, that he 
understood I was maintained better by running up 
and down a preaching, than by following my calling. 

Hale. What is his calling.'* said Judge Hale. 

Answer. Then some of the company that stood 
by, said, A tinker, my lord. 

Worn. Yes, said she ; and because he is a tinker, 
and a poor man, therefore he is despised, and cannot 
have justice. 

Hale. Then Judge Hale answered very mildly, 
saying, I tell thee, woman, seeing it is so, that they 
have taken what thy husband spake for a conviction ; 
thou must either apply thyself to the King, or sue 
out his pardon, or get a writ of error. 

Chest. But when Justice Chester heard him give 
^ * Smayed,' an obsolete contraction of * dismayed.' 
224 



A BRAVE AND FEARLESS WIFE 

her this counsel; and especially (as she supposed) 
because he spoke of a writ of error, he chafed, and 
seemed to be very much offended; saying, My 
lord, he will preach and do what he lists. 

Worn. He preacheth nothing but the Word of God, 
said she. 

Twis. He preach the Word of God! said 
Twisdon; and withal, she thought he would have 
struck her; he runneth up and down, and doth 
harm. 

Worn. No, my lord, said she, it is not so ; God 
hath owned him, and done much good by him. 

Twis. God ! said he, his doctrine is the doctrine 
of the devil. 

Worn. My lord, said she, when the righteous 
Judge shall appear, it will be known that his 
doctrine is not the doctrine of the devil. 

Twis. My lord, said he, to Judge Hale, do not 
mind her, but send her away. 

Hale. Then said Judge Hale, I am sorry, woman, 
that I can do thee no good ; thou must do one of 
those three things aforesaid, namely, either to apply 
thyself to the King, or sue out his pardon, or get a 
writ of error ; but a writ of error will be cheapest. 

Worn. At which Chester again seemed to be in 
a chafe, and put off his hat, and as j^^^^ Chester 
she thought, scratched his head for very angry 
anger : but when I saw, said she, that there was no 
prevailing to have my husband sent for, though I 
p 225 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

often desired them that they would send for him, 
that he might speak for himself; telling them, 
that he could give them better satisfaction than I 
could, in what they demanded of him, with several 
other things, which now I forget ; only this I re- 
member, that though I was somewhat timorous at 
my first entrance into the chamber, yet before I 
went out, I could not but break forth into tears, not 
so much because they were so hard-hearted against 
me, and my husband, but to think what a sad account 
such poor creatures will have to give at the coming 
of the Lord, when they shall there answer for all 
things whatsoever they have done in the body, 
whether it be good, or whether it be bad. 

So, when I departed from them, the book of 
statutes was brought, but what they said of it I know 
nothing at all, neither did I hear any more from 
them. 

Som^ Carnages of the Adversaries of God's Truth 
with me at the next Assizes^ which was on the 
igth of the first month^ 1662. 

I SHALL pass by what befell between these two 
How I had assizes, how I had, by my jailor, 

more liberty some liberty granted me, more than 

at the first, and how I followed my wonted course of 
preaching, taking all occasions that were put into my 
hand to visit the people of God ; exhorting them to be 

226 



LIBERTY AND IMPRISONMENT 

steadfast in the faith of Jesus Christ, and to take heed 
that they touched not the Common Prayer, etc., but 
to mind the Word of God, which giveth direction to 
Christians in every point, being able to make the man 
of God perfect in all things through faith in Jesus 
Christ, and thoroughly to furnish him unto all good 
works. 2 Tim. iii. 17. Also how I having, I say, 
somewhat more liberty, did go to see the Christians 
at London ; which my enemies hearing of, were so 
angry, that they had almost cast my jailor out of his 
place, threatening to indict him, and to do what they 
could against him. They charged me also, that I went 
thither to plot and raise division, and make insurrec- 
tion, which, God knows, was a slander ; whereupon 
my liberty was more straitened than it was before ; so 
that I must not now look out of the door. Well, when 
the next sessions came, which was about the 10th of 
the iith month (1661), I did ex- 
pect to have been very roundly dealt have bfen^vlry 
withal ; but they passed me by, and roundly dealt 
would not call me, so that I rested 
till the assizes, which was held the 19th of the first 
month (1662) following; and when they came, 
because I had a desire to come before the judge, I 
desired my jailor to put my name into 
the calendar among the felons, and name to be put 
made friends of the judge and high- 
sheriff, who promised that I should be called : so 
that I thought what I had done might have been 

227 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

effectual for the obtaining of my desire : but all was 

in vain; for when the assizes came, though my 

name was in the calendar, and also though both the 

judge and sheriff had promised that I should appear 

before them, yet the justices and the clerk of the 

peace, did so work it about, that I, notwithstanding, 

was deferred, and was not suffered to appear: and 

although I say, I do not know of all their carriages 

towards me, yet this I know, that the clerk of the 

Q . peace (Mr Cobb) did discover him- 

greatest self to be oue of my greatest opposers : 

2S)b, the clerk for, first he Came to my jailor and 
of the peace ^^y ^^^ ^^^^ j ^^3^ ^^^ ^^ j^^.^^ 

before the judge, and therefore must not be put 
into the calendar; to whom my jailor said, that my 
name was in already. He bid him put it out again ; 
my jailor told him that he could not : for he had 
given the judge a calendar with my name in it, and 
also the sheriff another. At which he was very 
much displeased, and desired to see that calendar 
that was yet in my jailor's hand, who, when he had 
given it him, he looked on it, and said it was a false 
calendar; he also took the calendar and blotted out 
my accusation, as my jailor had written it (which 
accusation I cannot tell what it was, because it was 
so blotted out), and he himself put in words to this 
purpose : That John Bunyan was committed to 
prison ; being lawfully convicted for upholding of 
unlawful meetings and conventicles, etc. But yet 

228 



EFFORTS FOR LIBERTY FAIL 

for all this, fearing that what he had done, unless he 
added thereto, it would not do, he first ran to the 
clerk of the assizes ; then to the justices, and after- 
wards, because he would not leave any means un- 
attempted to hinder me, he came again to my jailor, 
and told him, that if I did go down before the judge, 
and was released, he would make him pay my fees, 
which he said was due to him ; and further, told him, 
that he would complain of him at the next quarter 
sessions for making of false calendars, though my 
jailor himself, as I afterwards learned, had put in my 
accusation worse than in itself it was by far. And 

thus was I hindered and prevented _ .. ^ ^ 

^ . I was hindered 

at that time also from appearing and prevented, 

, r ^ • 1 1 1 r • • and left in prison 

before the judge: and left m prison. 
Farewell. 

John Bunyan. 



A Continuation of Mr Bunyan's life ; beginning 
where he left cff^ and concluding with the Time 
and Manner of his Death and Burial: together 
with his true Character^ etc. 

Reader, the painful and industrious author of this 
book, has already given you a faithful ^^^^-^^ ^ ^^.^^^^,^ 
and very moving relation of the narrative 
beginning and middle of the days of his pilgrimage 
on earth ; and since there yet remains somewhat 
worthy of notice and regard, which occurred in the 

229 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

last scene of his life, the which, for want of time, or 
fear, some over-censorious people should impute it to 
him as an earnest coveting of praise from men, he 
has not left behind him in writing. Wherefore, as 
a true friend, and long acquaintance of Mr Bunyans 
that his good end may be known, as well as his evil 
beginning, I have taken upon me, from my know- 
ledge, and the best account given by other of his 
friends, to piece this to the thread too soon broke 
off, and so lengthen it out to his entering upon 
eternity. 

He has told you at large, of his birth and 
education ; the evil habits and corruptions of his 
youth ; the temptations he struggled and conflicted 
so frequently with, the mercies, comforts, and 
deliverances he found, how he came to take upon 
him the preaching of the Gospel ; the slanders, 
reproaches and imprisonments that attended him, 
and the progress he notwithstanding made (by the 
assistance of God's grace) no doubt to the saving of 
many souls : therefore take these things, as he himself 
hath methodically laid them down in the words of 
verity ; and so I pass on to what remains. 

After his being freed from his twelve years' 
imprisonment and upwards, for nonconformity, 
wherein he had time to furnish the world with 
sundry good books, etc., and by his patience, to move 
Dr Barlow^ the then Bishop of Lincoln^ and other 
church-men, to pity his hard and unreasonable 

230 



RELEASED FROM PRISON 

sufferings, so far as to stand very much his friends, 
ill procuring his enlargement, or there perhaps he had 
died, by the noisomeness and ill usage of the place. 
Being now, I say, again at liberty, and ^is occupation 
having through mercy shaken off his whenatHberty 
bodily fetters, — for those upon his soul were broken 
before by the abounding grace that filled his heart, — 
he went to visit those that had been a comfort to 
him in his tribulation, with a Christian-like acknow- 
ledgment of their kindness and enlargement of 
charity ; giving encouragement by his example, if it 
happened to be their hard haps to fall into affliction 
or trouble, then to suffer patiently for the sake of a 
good conscience, and for the love of God in Jesus 
Christ towards their souls, and by many cordial 
persuasions, supported some whose spirits began to 
sink low, through the fear of danger that threatened 
their worldly concernment, so that the people found 
a wonderful consolation in his discourse and admoni- 
tions. 

As often as opportunity would admit, he gathered 
them together (though the law was then in force 
against meetings) in convenient places, and fed them 
with the sincere milk of the Word, that they might 
grow up in grace thereby. To such as were any- 
where taken and imprisoned upon these accounts, he 
made it another part of his business to extend his 
charity, and gather relief for such of them as wanted. 

He took great care to visit the sick, and strengthen 
231 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

them against the suggestions of the tempter, which 
at such times are very prevalent ; so that they had 
cause for ever to bless God, Who had put it into 
his heart, at such a time, to rescue them from the 
power of the roaring lion, who sought to devour 
them ; nor did he spare any pains or labour in travel, 
though to remote counties, where he knew or 
imagined any people might stand in need of his 
assistance ; insomuch that some, by these visitations 
that he made, which was two or three every 
year (some, though in a jeering manner no doubt, 
gave him the epithet of Bishop Bunyan) whilst others 
envied him for his so earnestly labouring in Christ's 
vineyard ; yet the seed of the Word he (all this 
while) sowed in the hearts of his congregation, 
watered with the grace of God, brought forth in 
abundance, in bringing in disciples to the church of 
Christ. 

Another part of his time is spent in reconciling 
differences, by which he hindered many mischiefs, 
and saved some families from ruin, and in such 
fallings-out he was uneasy, till he found a means to 
labour a reconciliation, and become a peace-maker, 
on whom a blessing is promised in holy writ ; and 
indeed in doing this good office, he may be said to 
sum up his days, it being the last undertaking of his 
life, as will appear in the close of this paper. 

When in the late reign, liberty of conscience was 
unexpectedly given and indulged to dissenters of all 

232 



A GREAT CONGREGATION 

persuasions, his piercing wit penetrated the veil, and 
found that it was not for the dis- He moved with 
senters' sakes they were so suddenly caution and fear 
freed from the hard prosecutions that had long 
lain heavy upon them, and set in a manner, on an 
equal foot with the Church of England^ which the 
papists were undermining, and about to subvert : he 
foresaw all the advantages that could have re- 
dounded to the dissenters would have been no more 
than what Polyphemus^ the monstrous giant of Sicily^ 
would have allowed Ulysses^ viz. : That he would 
eat his men first, and do him the favour of being 
eaten last : for although Mr Bunyan^ following the 
examples of others, did lay hold of this liberty, as an 
acceptable thing in itself, knowing God is the only 
Lord of conscience, and that it is good at all times 
to do according to the dictates of a good conscience, 
and that the preaching the glad tidings of the 
Gospel is beautiful in the preacher ; yet in all this 
he moved with caution and a holy fear, earnestly 
praying for the averting impending judgments, which 
he saw, like a black tempest, hanging over our heads 
for our sins, and ready to break in upon us, and that 
the Ninevites^ remedy was now highly necessary: 
hereupon he gathered his congregation at Bedford^ 
where he mostly lived, and had lived and spent the 
greatest part of his life; and there being no 
convenient place to be had for the entertainment of 
so great a confluence of people as followed him upon 

^Z3 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

the account of his teaching, he consulted with them 
for the building of a meeting-house, to which they 
made their voluntary contributions with all cheerful- 
ness and alacrity; and the first time he appeared 
there to edify, the place was so thronged, that many 
was constrained to stay without, though the house 
was very spacious, every one striving to partake of 
his instructions, that were of his persuasion, and 
show their good-will towards him, by being present 
at the opening of the place ; and here he lived In 
much peace and quiet of mind, contenting himself 
with that little God had bestowed upon him, and 
sequestering himself from all secular employments, 
to follow that oF his call to the ministry ; for as God 
said to Mosesj He that made the lips and heart, can 
give eloquence and wisdom, without extraordinary 
acquirements in an university. 

During these things, there were regulators sent 
He opposed the ^^^^ ^^^ cities and towns corporate, to 
regulators new model the government in the 

magistracy, etc., by turning out some, and putting in 
others : against this Mr Bunyan expressed his zeal 
with some weariness, as foreseeing the bad conse- 
quence that would attend it, and laboured with his 
congregation to prevent their being imposed on in this 
kind ; and when a great man in those days, coming to 
Bedford upon some such errand, sent for him, as 'tis 
supposed, to give him a place of public trust, he 
would by no means come at him, but sent his excuse. 



A STAINLESS REPUTATION 

When he was at leisure from writing and teach- 
ing, he often came up to London^ and there went 
among the congregations of the non-conformists, and 
used his talent to the great good-liking of the 
hearers ; and even some to whom he had been 
mis-represented, upon the account of his educa- 
tion, were convinced of his worth and knowledge 
in sacred things, as perceiving him to be a man 
of sound judgment, delivering himself plainly and 
powerfully; insomuch that many, who came mere 
spectators for novelty sake rather than to edify and 
be improved, went away well satisfied with what 
they heard, and wondered, as the Jews did at 
the Apostles, viz. : Whence this man should have 
these things; perhaps not considering that God 
more immediately assists those that make it their 
business industriously and cheerfully to labour in His 
vineyard. 

Thus he spent his latter years in imitation of his 
great Lord and Master, the ever- ^ ., , . ,, ^ 

o ' Like his Master 

blessed Jesus ; he went about domg he went about 
good, so that the most prying critic, °^"^ ^°° 
or even Malice herself, is defied to find, even upon 
the narrowest search or observation, any sully or 
stain upon his reputation, with which he may be 
justly charged ; and this we note, as a challenge to 
those that have the least regard for him, or them 
of his persuasion, and have one way or other 
appeared in the front of those that oppressed him; 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

and for the turning whose hearts, in obedience to 
the commission and commandment given him of 
God, he frequently prayed, and sometimes sought 
a blessing for them, even with tears, the effects of 
which, they may, peradventure, though undeservedly, 
have found in their persons, friends, relations, or 
estates ; for God will hear the prayer of the faithful, 
and answer them, even for them that vex them, as 
it happened in the case of Job's praying for the 
three persons that had been grievous in their 
reproach against him, even in the day of his 
sorrow. 

But yet let me come a little nearer to particulars 
and periods of time, for the better refreshing the 
memories of those that knew his labour and suffer- 
ing, and for the satisfaction of all that shall read 
this book. 

After he was sensibly convicted of the wicked 
state of his life, and converted, he was baptized into 
the congregation, and admitted a member thereof, 
i;/z., in the year 1655, and became speedily a very 
zealous professor ; but upon the return of King 
Charles to the crown in 1660, he was the 12th of 
'November taken, as he was edifying some good 
people that were got together to hear the word, and 
confined in Bedford jail for the space of six years, 
till the act of Indulgence to dissenters being allowed, 
he obtained his freedom, by the intercession of 
some in trust and power, that took pity on his 

236 



DISPUTING WITH SCHOLARS 

sufferings ; but within six years afterwards he was 
again taken up, viz.^ in the year 1666, and was then 
confined for six years more, when even the jailor 
took such pity of his rigorous sufferings, that he did 
as the Egyptian jailor did to Joseph^ put all the care 
and trust in his hand : When he was taken this last 
time, be was preaching on these words, viz. : Dost 
thou believe the Son of God f And this imprisonment 
continued six years, and when this was over, another 
short affliction, which was an imprisonment of half 
a year, fell to his share. During these confinements 
he wrote the following books, viz. : Of Prayer by 
the Spirit: The Holy Citfs Resurrection: Grace 
Abounding : Pilgrim's Progress^ the first part. 

In the last year of his twelve years' imprisonment, 
the pastor of the congregation at 
Bedford died, and he was chosen to pastor^orthe 
that care of souls, on the 12th of ^^egation^''" 
December 1671. And in this his 
charge, he often had disputes with scholars that 
came to oppose him, as supposing him an ignorant 
person, and though he argued plainly, and by 
Scripture, without phrases and logical expressions, 
yet he nonplussed one who came to oppose him in 
his congregation, by demanding, Whether or no we 
had the true copies of the original Scriptures ; and 
another, when he was preaching, accused him of un- 
charitableness, for saying, // was very hard for most 
to be saved ; saying, by that he went about to 

^i7 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

exclude most of his congregation ; but he confuted 
him, and put him to silence with the parable of the 
stony ground, and other texts out of the 13th 
chapter of St Matthew^ in our Saviour's sermon out 
of a ship ; all his methods being to keep close to 
the Scriptures, and what he found not warranted 
there, himself would not warrant nor determine, 
unless in such cases as were plain, wherein no doubts 
or scruples did arise. 

But not to make any further mention of this kind, 
it is well known that this person managed all his 
aiFairs with such exactness, as if he had made it his 
study, above all other things, not to give occasion of 
offence, but rather suffer many inconveniences, to 
avoid being never heard to reproach or revile any, 
what injury soever he received, but rather to rebuke 
those that did ; and as it was in his conversation, so 
it is manifested in those books he has caused to be 
published to the world ; where like the archangel 
disputing with Satan about the body of Moses, as 
we find it in the epistle of St Jiide, brings no railing 
accusation (but leaves the rebukers, those that 
persecuted him) to the Lord. 

In his family he kept up a very strict discipline in 
His home life prayer and exhortation ; being in this 
and example j^^g Joshua, as the good man ex- 

presses it, viz., Whatsoever others did, as for vie 
and my house, we will serve the Lord : and indeed 
a blessing waited on his labours and endeavours, so 

238 



DRAWING NEAR TO DEATH 

that his wife, as the Psalmist says, was like a 
pleasant vine upon the walls of his house^ and his 
children like olive branches round his table ; for so 
shall it be with the man that fears the Lord^ and 
though by reason of the many losses he sustained by 
imprisonment and spoil, of his chargeable sickness, 
etc., his earthly treasure swelled not to excess ; he 
always had sufficient to live decently and creditably, 
and with that he had the greatest of all treasures, 
which is content ; for as the wise man says. That is 
a continual feast. 

But where content dwells, even a poor cottage 
is a kingly palace, and this happiness he had all 
his life long ; not so much minding this world, as 
knowing he was here as a pilgrim and stranger, and 
had no tarrying city, but looked for one made with 
hands eternal in the highest heavens : but at length 
was worn out with sufferings, age, and often teaching, 
the day of his dissolution drew near, and death, that 
unlocks the prison of the soul, to enlarge it for 
a more glorious mansion, put a stop to his acting his 
part on the stage of mortality ; heaven, like earthly 
princes, when it threatens war, being always so 
kind as to call home its ambassadors before it be 
denounced, and even the last act or undertaking of 
his, was a labour of love and charity ; for it so 
falling out that a young gentleman, a neighbour of 
Mr Banyan's^ happening into the displeasure of his 
father, and being much troubled in mind upon that 

239 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

account, and also for that he heard his father 
purposed to disinherit him, or otherwise deprive him 
of what he had to leave ; he pitched upon Mr 
Bunyan as a fit man to make way for his submission, 
and prepare his father's mind to receive him ; and 
he, as willing to do any good office, as it could be 
requested, as readily undertook it ; and so riding to 
Reading in Berkshire^ he then there used such 
pressing arguments and reasons against anger and 
passion, as also for love and reconciliation, that the 
father was mollified, and his bowels yearned to his 
returning son. 

But Mr Bunyan^ after he had disposed all things 

to the best for accommodation, re- 
His last illness . ^ , i i • 

turning to London^ and being over- 
taken with excessive rains, coming to his lodgings 
extremely wet, fell sick of a violent fever, which he 
bore with much constancy and patience, and ex- 
pressed himself as if he desired nothing more than 
to be dissolved, and be with Christ, in that case 
esteeming death as gain, and life only a tedious 
delaying felicity expected; and finding his vital 
strength decay, having settled his mind and affairs, 
as well as the shortness of time, and the violence 
of his disease would permit, with a constant and 
christian patience, he resigned his soul into the 
hands of his most merciful Redeemer, following his 
pilgrim from the City of Destruction, to the New 
Jerusalem \ his better part having been all along 

240 



SAFELY "ACROSS THE RIVER" 

there, in holy contemplation, pantings and breathings 
after the hidden manna and water of life, as by 
many holy and humble consolations expressed in his 
letters to several persons in prison, and out of prison, 
too many to be inserted at present. He died at the 
house of one Mr Struddock^ a grocer, at the Star on 
Snow Hill^ in the parish of St Sepulchre's^ London^ on 
the 1 2th of August 1688, and in the sixtieth year of 
his age,^ after ten days' sickness ; and was buried in 
the new burying place near the Artillery Ground ; 
where he sleeps to the m.orning of the resurrection, 
in hopes of a glorious rising to an incorruptible 
immortality of joy and happiness ; where no more 
trouble and sorrow shall afflict him, but all tears be 
wiped away ; when the just shall be incorporated as 
members of Christ their head, and reign with Him as 
kings and priests for ever. 

A brief Character of Mr John Bunyan 

He appeared in countenance to be of a stern and 
rough temper, but in his conversation mild and 
affable ; not given to loquacity or much discourse in 
company, unless some urgent occasion required it ; 
observing never to boast of himself or his parts, but 
rather seem low in his own eyes, and submit himself 

1 It is an established fact that John Bunyan died on Friday, 
August 31, 1688. He is recorded to have preached his last 
sermon on August 19. 

Q 241 



GRACE ABOUNDING 

to the judgment of others, abhorring lying and 
swearing, being just in all that lay in his power to 
his vord, not seeming to revenge injuries, loving to 
reconcile diiFerences, and make friendship with all ; 
he had a sharp quick eye, accompanied with an 
excellent discerning of persons, being of good judg- 
ment and quick wit. As for his person, he was tall 
of stature, strong boned, though not corpulent, 
somewhat of a ruddy face, with sparkling eyes, 
wearing his hair on his upper lip, after the old British 
fashion ; his hair reddish, but in his latter days, time 
had sprinkled it with grey ; his nose well set, but not 
declining or bending, and his mouth moderate large ; 
his forehead somewhat high, and his habit always 
plain and modest. And thus have we impartially 
described the internal and external parts of a person, 
whose death hath been much regretted ; a person 
who had tried the smiles and frowns of time ; not 
puffed up in prosperity, nor shaken in adversity; 
always holding the golden mean. 

In him at once did three great worthies shine, 
Historian, poet, and a choice divine : 
Then let him rest in undisturbed dust. 
Until the resurrection of the just. 



24a 



HUSBAND AND WIFE REUNITED 



POSTSCRIPT 

In this his pilgrimage, God blessed him with four 
children, one of which, named Mary^ was blind, and 
died some years before ; his other children were 
Thomas^ Joseph^ and Sarah ; his wife Elizabeth 
having lived to see him overcome his labour and 
sorrow, and pass from this life to receive the reward 
of his work, long survived him not ; but in 1692 she 
died, to follow her faithful pilgrim from this world 
to the other, whither he was gone before her ; whilst 
his works, which consist of sixty books, remain for 
the edifying of the reader, and praise of the author. 

Vale. 



FINIS 



243 



BIBLIOGRAPHY 



FIRST EDITION. 

Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners : 
or, a brief and faithful relation of the exceeding 
mercy of God in Christ to his poor servant, 
John Bunyan. Wherein is particularly shewed, 
the manner of his conversion, his sight and 
trouble for his sin, his dreadful temptations, also 
how he despaired of God's mercy, and how the 
Lord at length thorow Christ did deliver him 
from all the guilt and terrour that did lay upon 
him. Whereunto is added, A brief relation of 
his call to the work of the ministry, of his 
temptations therein, as also what he hath met 
with in prison. 

All which was written by his own hand there, 
and now published for the support of the weak 
and tempted people of God. 

Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I 
will declare what he hath done for my soul. 
Psal. Ixvi. 1 6. 8vo, London. Printed by George 
Larkin, 1 666. 

This unique, and almost priceless little volume, was 
secured by the authorities of the British Museum in 
1883. No other copy of the First Edition is known to 
exist. It is very clean and well preserved, except that 
it wants two leaves, pp. 45-48. Some little attempt was 
made by the printer at embellishment in a" fancy head- 

245 



BIBLIOGRAPHY 

piece on page i. A perfect copy would contain 272 

numbered Sections, and * The Conclusion * . The 

printer, George Larkin (who was probably the publisher 
also) was in business at the * Two Swans,* Bishopgate 
Without. He was born in London, and was the son 
of Benjamin Larkin, Gentleman. His next transaction 
with Bunyan was in 1688 when he published two small 
books — the more important one being, Solomon^s Temple 
Spiritualized, 

SECOND EDITION. 

No copy of this edition has been discovered up to the 
present time. 

THIRD EDITION. 

Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners j 
or a brief and faithful relation of the exceeding 
mercy of God in Christ to his poor servant John 
Bunyan ; wherein is his sin, temptation, how he 
despaired of God's mercy, and how the Lord at 
length, through Christ, did deliver him. All 
written by his own hand ; and now published 
for the support of the weak. In Twelves. 
The Third Edition corrected and much enlarged. 
F. Smith, at the * Elepjiant and Castle * in Corn- 
hill (1679). 

The announcement (as above) of this edition is 
taken from * The Term Catalogue — Trinity Term* — 
1679, recently published by Professor Arber, F.S.A., 
and is the only trace extant of the * Third Edition.* 
The fact of Bunyan entrusting this edition to another 
publisher is apparent. Francis Smith and Bunyan were 
old friends, and several business transactions had passed 
between them in previous years. This appears to have 

246 



BIBLIOGRAPHY 

been a renewal of such events. Smith was so often a 
prisoner for publishing what were supposed to have 
been seditious books, that business relationships had 
been suspended. The year 1 679 was notable for the 
expiration of the censorship of the Press, and this fact 
may account for Smith sending forth this edition of 
Grace Abounding, Francis Smith was the son of 
a farrier, and was born at Bradford, Yorks. He came as 
an apprentice to a London bookseller in 1 647. He was 
himself the author of several works. He died in the 
year 169 1. 

FOURTH EDITION. 

Up to the present time, this edition exists only in 
name. 

FIFTH EDITION. 

Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners: 
or a brief and faithful relation of the exceeding 
mercy of God in Christ to his poor servant John 
Bunyan. The fifth edition, i2mo, N. Ponder, 
1680. 

This unique copy was included in the collection of 
the late W. G. Thorpe, Esq., F.S.A., of Nightingale 
Lane, Balham, and was sold by Messrs Sotheby, 
Wilkinson and Hodge in their Auction Rooms, on 
Saturday, April 23, I904. Another puWisher's name is 
attached to this edition, that of Nathaniel Ponder. 
He issued The Pilgrims Progress in 1 678, and in fact 
must be regarded as Bunyan*s most notable publisher. 
The Pilgrim^ Grace Abounding, and other of Bunyan*s 
works continued to be produced by him as long as he 
lived. Nathaniel Ponder was the son of John Ponder, 
a staunch Puritan and Mercer, of Rothwell, in the county 

247 



BIBLIOGRAPHY 

of Northampton, and was bound as an apprentice in 
Chancery Lane, London, in the year 1656. He subse- 
quently commenced business at the sign of * The Peacock,* 
Chancery Lane, and afterwards removed to * The Poultry/ 
It was from the latter address that The Filgrims Progress 
was issued. His last place of business was in London 
House Yard, and the latest known date of any of his 
publications is 1 696, when he issued the third edition of 
The Life and Death of Mr Badman. 

SIXTH EDITION. 

Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners: 
or, a brief and faithful relation of the exceeding 
mercy of God in Christ, to his poor servant John 
Bunyan, namely, in his taking of him out of the 
dunghill, and converting of him to the faith of 
his Blessed Son, Jesus Christ. Here is also par- 
ticularly shewed, what sight of, and what trouble 
he had for sin ; and also, what various tempta- 
tions he had met with, and how God hath carried 
him through them. Corrected, and much en- 
larged now by the Author, for the benefit of the 
tempted and dejected Christian. 
The Sixth Edition, Corrected. 
i2mo. London, Printed for Nath. Ponder, at 
The Peacock in The Poultry, over against the 
Stock Market, 1688. 

Copies of this edition are in the British Museum, 
the Congregational Library, Memorial Hall, Farringdon 
Street, and the Bunyan Library, Bedford. 

SEVENTH EDITION. 

The title-page of this edition is the same as the 
sixth, except the following : — The Seventh Edi- 
tion, corrected, with the Remainder of his life 
and Character 5 by a Friend since his death. 
248 



BIBLIOGRAPHY 

I2mo. London, Printed for Robert Ponder, and 
are to be sold by the Booksellers of London and 
Westminster, 1692. 

The get-up of this edition is decidedly inferior to 
that of the sixth and eighth. A copy is included in 
the Library of the British Museum. Robert Ponder 
appears to have been in business for not more than four 
or five years. No trace of him has been found after 
1693. 

EIGHTH EDITION. 

Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners: 
in a faithful account of the Life and Death of 
John Bunyan, or, a brief relation of the exceeding 
mercy of God in Christ to him. The remaining 
portion of the title-page is the same as the sixth 
edition, except the following lines : Corrected 
and much enlarged by the Author for the benefit 
of the tempted and dejected Christian. 

The Eighth Edition with his character. 

i2mo. London, Printed for N. Ponder, and are 
to be sold by the Booksellers of London, and 
Westminster (? 1693). 

This impression contains a * Postscript' referring to 
the death of Mrs Bunyan, which occurred in the year 
169 1, so that the issue in all probability took place early 
in 1693. There is an interesting entry in the Registers at 
Stationer's Hall regarding the publication of this eighth 
edition, namely: * 26 May 1 69 1. Nath. Ponder. 
Entred then for his booke or Coppy und'" the hand of 
Mr Ward" Mortlock Entituled Grace abounding to the 
Chiefe of Sinners Or a brief and faithful account of 
the Exceeding Mercy of God in Christ to his good 
Serv^ John Bunyan, and Corrected and Enlarged now 

249 



BIBLIOGRAPHY 

by the Author for the benefitt of the Tempted and 
dejected Christian. 

* Lycenced by Rob* Midgley, 12° June 1688. 

*Idem — With a brief Accot of the Life of Mr 
John Bunyan of Bedford To which is added his true 
Character and an Elegie made by a ffriend in Com- 
emoration of his death. Lycenced by Rob^ Midgley. 
Subscribed by Mr Ward" Mortlocke.' 

There is a melancholy interest attached to this inci- 
dent from the fact of the licensing of this eighth edition 
taking place on June 12, 1688. It was probably the 
last business transaction which occurred between author 
and publisher. In eleven weeks and three days, viz., 
on August 31, the immortal dreamer died. Whatever 
other alterations Bunyan found necessary to make in 
Grace Abounding^ they will certainly be found in this 
memorable edition. There are only two copies known 
to exist. One of these is in the British Museum, the 
other is in a private collection. It is a little surprising 
to learn that not a single copy of any of these early 
editions of Bunyan's third important book is possessed 
by either of the great libraries in America. 

W. P. 



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